Proszę o sprawdzenie

Witam,
oto kolejna porcja moich wypocin :)
Zbliża się TOEFL i mam nadzieję że jest lepiej niż ostatnio :)

Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why.

Changes in life are crucial parts of people and society history. Certain people can change instantly and experience new features of life. The range of changes is wide and develops among whole life. However some people want to stay at home and do nothing or do the same activities every day. In my opinion it is better when people want to change.

Firstly, changes can learn how to live and will help how make up good decisions. New experiences teach people how to behave in hard and complicated situations. People since childhood make decisions and change their plans when they get new experiences and discover new abilities and interests. Most people when they were children wanted to be princesses, firemen and even heroes. But children getting older and older and change their dreams and think about their future and Labour. However, people who do not want to change in school they will not achieve new graduates and will not think about the future. They also will not get new experiences and abilities because of the laziness. But not always because sometimes those people can get more experience because of their unchanging dreams and expectations.

Secondly, changes in life make people breather, happier and they will fight with their limitations. For example when someone wants to change his life will go somewhere and go travel around the world or will be person who will believe in God. People with desire of changes will fight with limitations, for example people with disability. Some disabled people got more than others despite of their disability because they want to change something. However, unchanged people will afraid of new experiences and will be closed inside their houses and will fight with anything. But some of them will feel good with this state.

To sum up, changes are really important when we want get more from life. Changes show that we can distinguish human being from other forms of life. So people should not sit in their houses, they should rather change their lives.

Mam nadzieję że jest lepiej niż ostatnio...
Zobaczymy :-)

Changes in life are crucial parts of people and 'society' (nie, wg mnie tu musi byc apostr 'society's) history. The range of changes is wide and develops 'among' (nie, tutaj masz zle slowo, lepiej 'throughout') (daj tutaj przedimek) whole life.

Firstly, changes can 'learn' (tu masz zle slowo, 'a teacher teacher, a student learns' - tutaj musisz dac 'teaches'), (musisz napisac kogo? kogo to uczy? how to live and will help 'how' (zle slowo, przypuszczam, ze to kalka z polskiego, tutaj wystarczy dac komu) make up good decisions. New experiences teach people how to behave in 'hard' (nie, to nie to slowo, poszukaj inne slowo na 'ciezkie') and complicated situations. People since childhood make decisions and change their plans when they 'get' (dla mnie to nie za bardzo pasuje, bo 'experience' to jest cos, co czlowiek 'experiences' a nie 'get' - mozna napisac...go through) new experiences and discover new abilities and interests.
But children 'getting' (nie, to jest zle slowo, wystarczy 'get') older and older and change their dreams and think about their future and 'Labour' (czy masz na mysli ang. Partie polityczna? tego nie rozumiem). However, people who do not want to change in school 'they' (niepotr) will not achieve 'new graduates' (nie, tutaj masz zle, tutaj chodzi o samo 'graduation') and will not think about the future. They also will not get new experiences and abilities because of 'the' (tutaj lepiej pasuje slowo 'their') laziness. 'But not always' (ja bym to dala inaczej. This may not always be so,) because sometimes those people can get more experience because of their unchanging dreams and expectations.

Secondly, changes in life make people 'breather' (nie rozumiem tego slowa), happier and they will fight with their limitations. For example when someone wants to change his life (tutaj musisz napisac kto) will go somewhere and go travelLING around the world or will be (przedimek) person who will believe in God. People with desire of changes will fight with (tutaj przydaloby sie ...their own) limitations, for example people with disability. Some disabled people 'got' (nie rozumeim co masz na mysli - rozszerz ta mysl) more than others despite 'of' (niepotr) their disability because they want to change something. However, unchanged people will (cos brak, slowo 'be') afraid of new experiences and will be closed inside their houses and will fight with 'anything' (nie za bardzo rozumiem co masz na mysli). But some of them will feel good with this state.

To sum up, changes are really important when we want (cos brak) get more from life. Changes show (ale komu?) that we can distinguish human being from other forms of life. So people should not sit in their houses, they should rather (tutaj dodalabym 'want to') change their lives.