Esej- pros and cons of teenagers owning mobile phones

Prosze o sprawdzenie poprawnosci, mialo byc w stylu formalnym ale nie wiem czy mi wyszlo:

Currently most of teenagers in the world have got own mobile phones. It makes that people are looking for advantages and disadvantages of this.
There are benefits of using the mobile phones by teenagers. Mobile phones make possible connecting with other people. Contact by mobile phones is faster than by e-mail. Also, teenagers can use mobile phones for taking pictures, playing games and using the Internet.
On the other hand there are drawbacks of using the mobile phones. Often teenagers are addicted from phones, so they waste a lot of time on this. Usually mobile phones replace traditional conversations in real life. As a result teenagers spend lots of time at home instead outside.
All things considered there are advantages and disadvantages when it comes to using the own mobile phones by teenagers. I hope that young people will use their mobile phones with sense and to good purposes.

Currently most of (brak przedimka) teenagers in the world have got (tutaj musisz napisac 'ich') own mobile phones. 'It' (nie wiem do czego to 'it' sie odnosi. Lepiej napisac 'This') 'makes' (nie za bardzo trafne slowo, lepiej 'results/means') that people are looking for advantages and disadvantages of this.
Mobile phones make possible 'connecting' (nie za bardzo trafne, cos tu nie tak z tym jest. ...make it possible to connect) with other people.
On the other hand there are drawbacks of using 'the' (ja bym tego przedimka nie pisala) mobile phones. Often teenagers are addicted 'from' (nie, to jest zle slowo, tutaj TO the) phones, so they waste a lot of time on this.
As a result teenagers spend lots of time at home instead outside. (to wyglada tak, jakby tylko uzywali te mobile w domu a nie na ulicy, w tramwaju - gdziekolwiek zeby tylko innym dac znac, ze maja to cudo)
All things considered there are advantages and disadvantages when it comes to using theIR own mobile phones by teenagers.
Powinno byc troszeczke na wyzszym szczeblu. Staraj sie uzywac wiecej 'academickie' slowa.

Wlasnie chcialabym to napisac lepiej, ladniej ale nie umiem :/ Dziekuje za pomoc. A co do tego zdania "As a result teenagers spend lots of time at home instead outside" chodzilo mi, ze w rezultacie tego nastolatkowie spedzaja duzo zasu w domu zamiast na zewnatrz. To jest zle?

instead of spending it outside