Sprawdzenie krótkiej historyjki

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Mam prośbę, czy ktoś mógłby mi sprawdzić poprawność tłumaczenia tej historyjki?

Group of teenagers went at the weekend above lake.
They pitched (rozstawić) tents and lighted a bonfire. They
talked, ate sausages and danced to the late evening. When
they went to tent for sleep, all the time they heard somebody
was walking near tents, but when they left from tents to
check who is it they could saw nobody. After few minutes they
heard the laught! They got a fright and they left tents very
fast. They saw woman with a tall man, they danced. They
stopped danced and they went in the direcation of lake. They
sat on the lake's edge and suddenly they disappeared! All of
them felt scared and they fast entered cars, but they
couldn't start motor! Suddenly many dancing pair were
appeard! Probably it was wedding because every pair was look
like very elegant. After few seconds one of teenager noticed
they weren't alive, they were corpses! They decayed and
disintegrated. Music stopped. All corpses turned in direction
of cars. They ran to cars, they came in, they started biting
off teenagers' heads, hands, legs.
After a few days, after this accident, people found 4 cars in
the lake, and in them remains of teenagers.

Wersja oryginalna:

Pewna grupa nastolatków pojechała na weekend nad jezioro.Rozbili trzy namioty i rozpalili ognisko.Gadali,jedli kiełbaski i tańczyli do późnego wieczoru.Gdy poszli spać cały czas słyszeli że ktoś spaceruje koło namiotów ale gdy wychodzili sprawdzić kto to jest nikogo nie widzieli.Po kilku minutach usłyszeli jeszcze śmiech.Przestraszyli się na dobre i wszyscy wysiedli z namiotów i zobaczyli kobietę tańczącą z wysokim mężczyzną.To oni tak się śmiali.W pewnej chwili zatrzymali się i poszli w kierunku jeziora.Usiedli na brzegu i rozpłynęli się w powietrzu.Wszyscy okropnie się wystraszyli i pobiegli do samochodów lecz nie umieli zapalić silnika.Po chwili było pełno tańczących par...Po strojach tańczących było widać że był to ślub.Dopiero po chwili młodzi zobaczyli że ci ludzie to trupy!.Wszyscy gnili i rozpadali się.Muzyka zatrzymała się...Wszystkie trupy zwróciły głowy na samochody i ludzi w środku.Podbiegli do nich zaczęli wchodzić do środka odgryzać nastolatkom głowy ręce...
Po kilku dniach ludzie znaleźli 4 samochody w jeziorze a w nich szczątki nastolatków.


Z góry bardzo wszystkim dziękuję :)
Po pierwsze, staraj sie nie uzywac translatorow albo slownikow do wszystkiego - o nie tlumacz slowo w slowo z polskiego.
PO drugie, moze przypomnisz sobie kiedy i jak uzywa sie 'the' - cos tutaj za wiele tego brakowalo.
A group of teenagers went 'at'FOR 'the' A weekend TO A 'above' (nie moga byc above- bo above to 'only sky'- tutaj musi byc NEARBY) lake.
They pitched THEIR tents and 'lighted' (nie - prosze sprawdzic czasowniki niereg-i poprawic) a bonfire. They talked, ate sausages and danced WELL INTO 'to' (niepotr) the late evening. When they went to THEIR tent 'for' TO sleep, all the time they heard AS IF somebody was walking near THE tents, but when they 'left from tents' (niepotr-wystarczy went) WENT to check who 'is' (niepotr) it MIGHT BE they could NOT 'saw' SEE 'nobody' ANYBODY - przypomnij sobie roznice pomiedzy 'anybody a 'nobody'). After A few minutes they
heard 'the' A laugh! They got a fright and they left THEIR tents very
'fast' QUICKLY. They saw A woman with a tall man, 'they' (ale tutaj nie rozumiem kto to tanczyl-czy te teenagers czy to couple?) WHO WERE dancING.
They stopped 'danced' DANCING and they went in the 'direcation'(ortog) of THE lake. They BOTH sat on the lake's edge and suddenly they BOTH disappeared (into thin air)! All of 'them' (ale to kto?- lepiej teenagers) felt scared and they 'fast' QUICKLY (przypomnij sobie roznice pomiedzy 'fast' a 'quick') entered THEIR cars, but they couldn't start THE motor! Suddenly many dancing 'pair' PAIRS 'were' HAD 'appeard' APPEARED! (IN ALL PROBABILITY) 'Probably' (niepotr) it was A wedding because every pair 'was look' LOOKED 'like' (nieopotr-bo albo wygladali tak albo nie-like to podobnie) very elegant. After A few seconds one of THE 'teenager' TEENAGER noticed
THAT they weren't alive, they were corpses! They HAD decayed and disintegrated. THE music stopped. All corpses turned in THE direction of THE cars. They ran toWARDS THE cars, they came in, they started biting off THE teenagers' heads, hands AND legs.
After a few days, after this accident, people found 4 cars in
the lake, and 'in' INSIDE them THE remains of THE teenagers.
Dzięki za pomoc.
Teraz jest już poprawnie?

A group of teenagers went for a weekend a nearby lake. They pitched their tents and lighted a bonfire. They talked, ate sausages into the late evening. When they went to their tent to sleep, all the time they heard if somebody was walking near the tents, but when they went to check who it might be they could not see anybody. After a few minutes they heard a laugh! They got a fright and they left their tents very quickly. They saw a woman with a tall man, who were dancing. They stopped dancing and they went in the direction of the lake. They both sat on the lake’s edge and suddenly they both disappeared (into thin air)! All of teenagers felt scared and they quickly entered their cars, but they couldn’t start the motor! Suddenly many dancing pairs had appeared. In all probability it was a wedding because every pair looked very elegant. After a few seconds one of the teenager noticed that they weren’t alive, they were corpses! They had decayed and disintegrated. The music stopped. All corpses turned in the direction of the cars. They ran towards the cars, they came in, they started biting off the teenagers’ heads, hands and legs.
After a few days, after this accident, people found 4 cars in the lake, and inside them the remains of the teenagers.
PS.
To chodzi, że te pary tańczyli. I co to znaczy: In all probability?
peter-
jak ja cos poprawie, to przepisuj to bardzo uwaznie. Nie mam zamiaru poprawiac te same bledy.

A group of teenagers went for a weekend TO a nearby lake. They pitched
their tents and 'lighted' (DLACZEGO tego nie poprawiles?) a bonfire. They talked, ate sausages into the late evening. When they went to their tent to sleep, all the time they COULD HEAR AS IF somebody was walking near the tents, but when they went to check who it might be they could not see anybody.
...sat on the lake's edge and suddenly they both disappeared into thin air!
All 'of' THE teenagers felt scared...

In all probability - prowdopodobnie...
Dzięki ;)
Ale sprawdziłem, że lighted też może być!

light > lit, lighted > lit, lighted
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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