Wypracowanie do waszej oceny! :P

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Zamieszczam kolejne wypracowanie z cyklu "nadrabianie zaległości". Przyznam się szczerze, że pisząc to wypracowanie myślałem bardzo "po polsku", więc spodziewam się wielu błędów polegających na przetłumaczeniu z polskiego na angielski... :-( Licze na wasze uwagi!! :)

T: Write about a person you sat next to on one of your long journeys.

My last long journey has been different than others and I will remember it all my life. I’ve gone to my cousin to the Cracow. This travel has been special, because I’ve met in the train the most beautiful woman in the world.

I’ve come in to the compartment. I had sat next to the window and then I’ve seen that woman. She looked heavenly. She had beautiful black eyes, long dark hairs, very charming and small nose, and lovely lips. She has been dreaming and she hasn’t seen me. But her eyes have looked amazing. In this eyes I’ve seen all world, and every of my dreams. I couldn’t stop look on her eyes, I’ve felt that I needed this magic and secret from her ones. After few minutes the train has stopped on some station. She had gotten up and then she has looked at me. I’ve felt incredible. She has come out. The train has moved and I’ve realized that I will never see her again. I have been very angry for myself that I haven’t asked this woman for her telephone number.

I’ve approached to the Cracow very fast. I’ve been thinking about her all the time when I’ve been in Cracow. I’ve not forgotten about her. Today in every train, in every bus, in every road I’m looking for my angel…


Pozdrawiam!
No ja z grupsza rzuciłem okiem i widzę że wszędzie jest present perfect, a jak na opowiadania przystało powinno być past.
hmm Cracov bez the..bo nie potzreba ,on the train a nie in,hair a nie hairs.eyes looked amazingly,stopped on the station,I've felt incredibly,I realised I would see....,angry with(lub at),hadn't asked.reached Cracov very quickly,on every train!!ogolnie czas zly -uzyj past simple tak jak wskazal kolega wyzej:)
Jeszcze te:
I came INTO the compartment, ...she had been dreaming, ..eyes looked amazing. ...In these eyes I've seen all THE world and every ONE of my dreams., ..stopped looking at her (...magic and secret from her ones?) Zmien na 'Past simple' i to bedzie wiele lepiej brzmialo.