Dłuższa forma (pamiętnik) - gramatyka

Witam :). Zwracam się z prośbą o sprawdzenie tego tekstu pod względem gramatycznym. Będę bardzo wdzięczny za każdą pomoc. Krótka ocena histori, stylu czy jakieś porady będą dla mnie na wagę złota :)! Z góry bardzo dziękuję!

April 3rd

It was another pathetic day in my life. Like all other days since Margaret's death. I am trying to get myself together for three months already. I still remember the smell of her hair, gentleness of her voice, depth of her eyes… But vision of her lifeless body and convulsive croak of terrible Death in the flesh is haunting me every night. Today, I was pondering about all the situations that have recently taken place in my life. After several hours of contemplation I decided to seek revenge on my enemies, inhuman monsters that caused carnage in Quiet Corner town. War is the curse of mankind. Frightening plague of enemy soldiers blows through the country, leaving blood stains all over the place. About an hour from now I will be far away from this place. Travelling in train to closest army outpost. I hope they need more snipers.

April 4th

I spent most of the day in train. Thoughts were torturing me like prickly shrub jabbing my skin. On one side, I was recalling beautiful face of Margaret, keeping my longing deep inside heart. On the other side, I was battling fear, which was vainly trying to devour my determination. But how could I lose it, if I don’t have anything else. After countless hours I made it, destination of my travel was right outside the window. I heard whistle. I was still a bit sleepy, but I flipped my bag over shoulder and started arduous walk to door. At the moment I was crossing over threshold, I slipped and hit my face on concrete. Then I heard another whistle. Train was leaving station! My head was hurting so bad, that I wasn’t able to move my limbs! Suddenly, big strong hand grabbed my collar and pulled me with strength of a bull! My adrenaline was so high, it took me a while to recover. Then I looked at hand, slowly moving my gaze to it’s owner. Before me stood a squad, huge man. He helped me to get up. He greeted me. Since that moment, we are friend. I can’t express how thankful I am. Having my legs being cutted by wheels of train is very unwelcoming image. That was just beginning of hard day. Right after that, we went to barracks. Supervisor assigned us to SOT (Special Operations Team), because all members of last team died killed by bomb. This message forced me to consider my choice again. It still had time to turn around, and give up. But why would I? I lost everything I loved. We went to room indicated by overseer. It was very dark, with one lamp giving low light and swaying with loud unpleasant sound. There were three people already. One was big, strong, well-build man with a lot of badges and two young guys in casual clothes. Soon we discovered that man in uniform is our boss, and he can shout very loud! We were late by 10 seconds, as punishment I had to clean the toilet later… After reprimand he clearly expressed that we must be exceptional in everything, because his squad will be most renown one. I hope we can meet his requirements. This day really exhausted me mentally and physically, but memory of Margaret, will give me strength and courage to face all problems here. It feels so odd, like I just got thrown in another world. There is no place for fragility.

October 18th

Routine is absorbing me. I am training my body all time, beside eating and sleeping. My life is filled with physical pain, sweat, fulfilling orders and taking short breaks to prepare for more hard work. This is very exhausting, but it rewards. I became strong, well-build man. I can beat every other soldier with my power and embarrass everyone with my exceptional shooting skills. This proves, that I can always fix my body, and have muscles I always dreamt about. However selected mental wounds can’t be cured, even with most advanced medicines in the world. I am trying to advance as fast as I can, so I will be able to start the service without delay. I can’t wait to retaliate on my enemies. They will suffer for what they have done to my family. But this must wait. It seems like I have to train at least half year more to achieve sufficient level of skills. Beside my inner conflicts, I have to watch out for people, because most of them got past like me, but they can’t find proper way to express themselves. There comes John, who is best friend I ever had in my life. He was protecting me before I managed to learn basics of survival between all those aggressive recruits surrounding me. It looks like John didn’t changed by this time, he probably reached his limits. He is impressed by my determination and stubbornness. I think no more important things happened during that time. But now eh… Everything hurts me so bad… I feel like my feet are made of clay… I hope I will find some more time soon to write anything in this diary.

January 2th

This day was very special. Unfortunately, in negative meaning of this word. I woke up with pretty strong hangover, like most of barrack’s inhabitants. I was hoping to survive this day somehow. Just another sniping training… It’s possible to get over it, even if not at full strength. I dressed up, enjoying routine… BOOM! I heard shoots, screaming and explosions. At beginning I’ve got really scared! Then I reminded myself that I am trained soldier. Why the hell should I dither before the enemy? I grabbed my gun and jumped out of room. I am not sure, if it’s good. But when I started to fight, I felt like god. I could decide about people’s fate. This one, will die… this one too… Consumptive demon of power over human live noticed me. He putted his slimy paws on me and started to whisper… I couldn’t get out of the combat madness until I heard victorious cheers. I breathed sigh of relief and I calmed down. The joy of victory was overshadowed by the death of many brave soldiers. We spent night in mourning, planning counterattack. We decided to strike main enemy base tomorrow. But it will be special mission. SOT has been selected to prepare silent attack, aimed at enemy captains, visiting headquarters to take part in meeting. I can’t be sure about next day…

January 5rd

This was worst day in my life. However I learnt A LOT… Obviously I learnt it hard way! But later about that. I will try organize all this events.

When I woke up, I was agog about things awaiting me today. Sneaking into base full of most powerful and influential people, who are probably guarded by professional soldiers equipped with extraordinary weapons is wasn’t good idea. Believing that unexpected move will be enough to distract enemies and succeed is just popular myth. As soon as we reached door to meeting room, we had to overcome the obstacle. It’s astonishing how quickly you can lose your friends. Forever. Two deadly mercenaries… How a human can be so devoted to duty that he does such a thing. Sacrificing his own dignity to conclude existence of few more souls THAT way?! I won’t write white they have done right before death. I want to forget this… Before we disposed them, they killed everyone excerpt me and John. Tomorrow will be filled with sadness for memory of dead. Rest in peace my friends. We paved our way to destination. With blood. With pain. There was no time to think, it was necessary to act. We jumped into room.

It was empty.

It took two long days for me to get myself together… Practically I accepted clarification in wise words of John. That wasn’t our fault. It was fault of blind, stupid donkeys sitting in headquarters! Sending brigade to enemy’s main base, while intentionally giving false information is what happens if you don’t know what life is really worth. I hope that visions of weeping families of the fallen will haunt those unfeeling creatures for rest of their lives.

I must remember. Seeking revenge is worst thing to do in life. It leads to nowhere. It’s better to get over past and work for brighter future.

I still blame myself for their death…

Tekst ten wędruje na jeden z konkursów, więc tutaj dodatkowo dopisuję (od wypadku): Autor - Jakub Pietras
Przezorny zawsze zabezpieczony.

I 'am' (zly czas - tutaj 'have been') trying to get myself together for three months already. I still remember the smell of her hair, (przedimek) gentleness of her voice, (przedimek) depth of her eyes… But vision of her lifeless body and (przedimek) convulsive 'croak' (daj inne slowo) of terrible Death in the flesh is haunting me every night.
After several hours of contemplation I decided to seek revenge on my enemies, inhuman monsters that caused carnage in (przedimek) Quiet Corner town.
(przedimek) frightening plague of enemy soldiers blows through the country, leaving blood stains all over the place.
Travelling 'in' (nie, tutaj BY) train to (przedimek) closest army outpost.

I spent most of the day in (przedimek) train. Thoughts were torturing me like prickly shrub jabbing AT my skin. On one side, I 'was recalling' (simpelk - recalled) (przedimek) 'beautiful face of Margaret' (nie, napisz Margaret's beautiful face), keeping my longing deep inside (cos brak) heart. On the other 'side' (zle slowo), I was battling fear, which was vainly trying to devour my determination. After countless hours I made it, (przedimek) destination of my travel was right outside the window. I heard (przedimek) whistle. I was still a bit sleepy, but I flipped my bag over (cos brak) shoulder and started (przedimek) arduous walk to (przedimek) door. At the moment WHEN I was crossing over (przedimek) threshold, I slipped and hit my face on (przedimek) concrete.
(przedimek) train was leaving (przedimek) station!
Suddenly, (przedimek) big strong hand grabbed my collar and pulled me with (przedimek) strength of a bull!
Then I looked at (przedimek) hand, slowly moving my gaze to 'it’s' (zle, tutaj napisales 'it is' - popraw) owner. Before me stood a 'squad' (daj inne slowo), huge man.
Since that moment ON, we are 'friend' (l. mn).
Having my legs being 'cutted' (popatrz dokladnie na to slowo i sprawdz) by (przedimek) wheels of (przedimek) train is (przedimek) very unwelcoming image. That was just (przedimek) beginning of (przedimek) hard day. Right after that, we went to (przedimek) barracks. (przedimek) supervisor assigned us to SOT (Special Operations Team), because all (przedimek) members of (przedimek) last team died killed by (przedimek) bomb.
'It' (na siebie mowisz 'it'? popraw) still had time to turn around, and give up. I HAD lost everything I loved. We went to (przedimek) room indicated by (przedimek) overseer. It was very dark, with one lamp giving low light and swaying with (przedimek) loud unpleasant sound. There were three people already THERE. One was (przedimek) big, strong, well-build man with a lot of badges and two young guys in casual clothes. Soon we discovered that (przedimek) man in uniform is our boss, and he can shout very loudLY!
After (przedimek) reprimand he clearly expressed that we must be exceptional in everything, because his squad will be (przedimek) most renown one.
This day really exhausted me mentally and physically, but (przedimek) memory of Margaret, will give me strength and courage to face all (przedimek) problems here.

(przedimek) routine is absorbing me. I am training my body all (przedimek) time, beside eating and sleeping.
This is very exhausting, but 'it rewards' (cos tu nie tak) . I became (przedimek) strong, well-build man. I can beat every other soldier with my power and 'embarrass' (ortog) everyone with my exceptional shooting skills.
However (przecinek) selected mental wounds can’t be cured, even with (przedimek) most advanced medicines in the world.
I can’t wait to 'retaliate on my enemies' (cos tu nie tak) .
It seems like I have to train at least half (przedimek) year more to achieve sufficient level of skills. Beside my inner conflicts, I have to watch out for people, because most of them 'got' (uzyj slowa 'have') (przedimek) past like me, but they can’t find (przedimek) proper way to express themselves. There comes John, who is (przedimek) best friend I ever had in my life. He was protecting me before I managed to learn (przedimek) basics of survival between all those aggressive recruits surrounding me. It looks like John 'didn’t changed' (cos tu nie tak) by this time, he probably reached his limits.
I think no more important things happened during 'that' (nie rozumiem tego) time.
Everything hurts me so 'bad' (zla czesc mowy)… I hope I will find some more time soon to write 'anything' (something) in this diary.

Unfortunately, in (przedimek) negative meaning of this word. I woke up with (przedimek) pretty strong hangover, like most of barrack’s 'inhabitants' (daj inne slowo).
Just another 'sniping' (sniper) training…
'I dressed up' (nie, to jest zle kojarzenie, masz na mysli...I got dressed), enjoying (przedimek) routine…
At (przedimek) beginning I’ve got really scared! Then I reminded myself that I am (przedimek) trained soldier.
I grabbed my gun and jumped out of (przedimek) room. I am not sure, if 'it’s' (czas przeszly) good. But when I started to fight, I felt like (przedimek) god.
Consumptive demon of power over human 'live' (zle slowo) noticed me. He 'putted' (sprawdz to slowo) his slimy paws on me and started to whisper…
I breathed (przedimek) sigh of relief and I calmed down.
We spent (przedimek) night in mourning, planning (przedimek) counterattack. We decided to strike (przedimek) main enemy base tomorrow. But it will be (przedimek) special mission. SOT has been selected to prepare (przedimek) silent attack, aimed at (prxedimek) enemy captains, visiting headquarters to take part in (przedimek) meeting. I can’t be sure about (przedimek) next day…

This was (przedimek) worst day in my life.
Obviously I learnt it (przedimek) hard way! 'But later about that' (nie, to masz zle, mowimy...but about that later). I will try (cos brak) organize all 'this' (l. mn) events.
Sneaking into (przedimek) base full of (przedimek) most powerful and influential people, who are probably guarded by professional soldiers equipped with extraordinary weapons 'is' (niepotr) wasn’t (przedimek) good idea. Believing that unexpected move will be enough to distract enemies and succeed is just (p[rzedimek) popular myth. As soon as we reached (przedimek) door to (przedimek) meeting room, we had to overcome the obstacle.
Two 'deadly' (chyba masz na mysli 'dead') mercenaries…
Sacrificing his own dignity to 'conclude' (zle slowo) (przedimek) existence of (przedimek) few more souls THAT way?! I won’t write 'white' (zle slowo) they have done right before death.
Before we disposed OF them, they killed everyone excerpt me and John. Tomorrow will be filled with sadness for (przedimek) memory of dead.
We paved our way to (przedimek) destination.
We jumped into (przedimek) room.
Practically I accepted (przedimek) clarification in 'wise words of John' (napisz to inaczej, John's wise words).
It was (przedimek) fault of (przedimek) blind, stupid donkeys sitting in headquarters! Sending (przedimek) brigade to (przedimek) enemy’s main base, while intentionally giving false information is what happens if you don’t know what life is really worth. I hope that visions of weeping families of the fallen will haunt those unfeeling creatures for (przedimek) rest of their lives.
Seeking revenge is (przedimek) worst thing to do in life.
It’s better to get over (przedimek) past and work for (przedimek) brighter future.

Kochanie, masz problemy z przedimkami (a, an, the). Musisz to poprawic.

Bardzo dziękuję za pomoc :)! Popracuje nad przedimkami, bo to wygląda jakbym w ogóle się o nich nie uczył :D.

Terri, podziwiam Cię.

zauazylam jeszcze:
Before we disposed them, they killed everyone 'excerpt' (except) me and John.

Ja też.

Dziekuje bardzo.