prosze o szybkie sprawdzenie, bardzo pilne!

Dear Sir or Madam,
I’m writing to tell you something about football, which is my favourite sport.
First match of football has proceded in 1848 year, now it is the most populary sport on the world. It relies on shooting of goal your oponent, in one team playing 11 players, one of them can catch ball on hands.
It is very exciting sport because, nobody can forecast result of match. I think that football is good sport for everyone because, on this game can play old as well as young people.
To be good on football you must be fit and you must like this sport. I think that football is the best sport on the world and jf you don’t played to football you must try this.

Your cincerely,
XYZ

nie wiem, czy moja wersja będzie lepsza, ale myślę, że kilka zdań będzie można wykorzystać, a w każdym razie uniknąć niektórych błędów. Np. zdanie : it relies on shooting of goal..., dla mnie brzmi dziwacznie. Czasownik to rely tłumaczy się na polski jako : polegać, ale w sensie " polegać jak na Zawiszy". Poniżej moja propozycja:
Dear Sir or Madamme,
I decided to write this letter, because I would like to share with you my opinions
on football, which is my favourite kind of sport. I wonder if you know that the very first match was performed in 1848. From since it has become the most popular discipline all around the world. The source of so strong emotions while whatching the match, in my opinion, is the spirit of struggle and unpredictability. Two teams take part in the play, each of them consists of eleven players. To be good in football you have to be fit and excersise hard. You must simply love it. But football is not for the young people only. I think that older people can also try to enjoy it. I wonder if you have tried it. If not, please do.I believe you must try it.
Sincerely yours,
XYZ
nie wiem, czy całkiem pasuje do Twojego tematu, ale myślę, chociaż trochę może być pomocne, pozdrawiam