proszę sprawdźcie moją pracę

Rhoda Ellam was mading her hats for all day when the doorbell rang. She left her work and went to the door. She was floored when she saw unexpected visitor. It was James Cushat-Prinkly.Rhoda mulled over what was the reason of his visit because he did not look up few years and now unforessen visit. She could not imagine what brough him. James and his home circle were from the higher state and moneyed. They never purchased hats in her shop despite their were a sort of remote cousin.
Rhoda welcomed him into room then treated some food and tea. They were sitting and talking about unimportant subjects. It was a pleasent conversation without superfluous questions and dicution concerning stuff which had not matter. For all time she were brooding why he appeared at the front door of her house at about tea-time. After some duration while they were talking she figured out why he came to visit her. As a normal shopkeeper she interrelated her property and everyday duties with his visit. She were thinking that James wanted celebrate a legacy which was bequeathed him with female relatives by buying them hats.She was seeing it as a samll shopping connected with visit at friend from childhood. To check feelings Rhoda asked him about this. She did not gave him a chance to clarify his presence. Before he endeavoured say something she took decsribe her point of view. Whilest she were speaking his postured and mine. It seemed like James in unexpected moment got some wrinkle.Straightaway he very seriously hit Rhoda with new idea. She freaked out when more and more words got across her head. At first she just sat and listen that he came without any reason to her maybe only to escape from propose marriage some boring and worthless girl but when he cool down and came to the end of his small speech she looked foolishly with open mouth and wide open eyes. Rhoda was looking as a sloth. The woman clam up. She needed ten minutes for said her first word and this was “Yes”. From this moment they were engaged. It was a big suprice not only for Rhoda but for James too. This was pickup decision. Even if both of them did not plan this they were blissfully happy. Rhoda was glad that she did not need to wory about money or that she could become a spinster and James was happy that he has it behind his back.
When her fiance went out to announce his family the news Rhoda drop down at the sofa layed on it two to the late bedtime thinking about those few hours in which her live were completely changed.


Wiem, ze jest tego trochę dużo ale bardzo proszę o pomoc. Czy może ktoś sprawdzić moje wypociny.

Rhoda Ellam was maKing her hats for all day when the doorbell rang (nie pasuje mi tutaj "for all day"). She left her work and went to the door. She was floored when she saw AN unexpected visitor. It was James Cushat-Prinkly. Rhoda mulled over what the reason of his visit WAS because he HAD not lookED IN FOR A few years and now HE SUDDENLY VISITED HER. She could not imagine what brough him BACK. James and his home circle (?) were from the higher state and moneyed (możesz napisać to zdanie po polsku?). They (HAD) never purchased hats in her shop despite their were a sort of remote cousinS.

Rhoda welcomed him IN THE room AND then/LATER PREPARED some food and tea. They were sitting and talking about unimportant TOPICS. It was a pleasAnt conversation without superfluous questions and diScution concerning stuffS which DID not matter. For all THE time she were brooding why he appeared IN front of her house at about tea-time. After some duration, while they were talking, she figured out why he HAD COME to visit her. As a USUAL shopkeeper, she interrelated her property and everyday duties with his visit. She THOUGHT that James wanted TO celebrate a legacy which was bequeathed TO him with female relatives by buying them hats. She SAW it as a SMALL shopping connected with HIS visit at friend'S from HIS childhood. To check HER EXPECTATIOPMS Rhoda asked him about this. She did not gIve him a chance to clarify his presence. Before he endeavoured TO say something, she took decsribe her point of view (możesz przetłumaczyć część zdania po przecinku?). WHILE she WAS speaking his postured and mine (tego też nie rozumiem).

Nie mam niestety czasu na poprawienie całości.

It seemed like James in unexpected moment got some wrinkle  [nie wiem co chcesz przez to powiedzieć ale można powiedzieć np.Suddenly the expression of his face changed completely, lub Suddenly his behaviour changed completely.] Straightaway he very seriously hit Rhoda with new idea[[może lepiej HE SHOCKED Rhoda with]]. She WAS GETTING MORE AND MORE AMAZED WITH HIS EVERY WORD. At first she WAS JUST sITTING and listenING TO HIS SPEECH ABOUT COMING WITH NO SERIOUS REASON, MAYBE JUST TO FIND A WAY OF ESCAPNG FROM PROPOSING MARRIAGE TO SOME BORING AND WORTHLESS GIRL. But when he coolED down and came to the end of his small speech she looked AT HIM with HER mouth OPENED. Rhoda FOR A MOMENT LOOKED LIKE a sloth. The woman clam up. She needed ten minutes TO RESPOND AND THE ANSWER WAS “Yes". From this moment they were engaged. It was a big supriSe not only for Rhoda but for James too. IT was A pickup decision nie wiem o co chodzi z tym pickup, ja bym dała np. SPONTANEOUS LUB UNEXPECTED. Even THOUGH NEITHER of them planED this, they were blissfully happy. Rhoda was glad THAT SHE WOULD NO LONGER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY or that she Would become a spinster and James was happy JUST TO have it all behind.
When her fiancé went to announce his family the news, Rhoda dropPED down at the sofa and laid on IT UNTIL THE bedtime, thinking about those few hours WHICH CHANGED HER LIFE COMPLETELY.

Niestety nie miałam czasu, żeby bardziej się w to zagłębić i z całą pewnością jest tu jeszcze wiele błędów, których nie widzę albo po prostu nie wiem jak je poprawić. Nie sprawdzałam też wszystkich słów, używasz bowiem trudnych wyrażeń, nie wszystkie jednak w dobrym kontekście;). Ode mnie to tyle, może ktoś jeszcze coś poprawi.

ahh, jeszcze drobna uwaga, w pierwszym zdaniu na samym początku Twojego wypracowania może być np. Rhoda has been making hats all day long. tyle :)

>może być np. Rhoda has been making hats all day long

Jesteś pewna? W końcu to opowiadanie o przeszłym zdarzeniu, pewna historyjka, a w takich używa się past simple/continuous itp.

oczywiście chyba masz rację, zapomniałam o zasadach pisania story. chyba dlatego, że omijam tę formę szerokim łukiem:)