Prosze o porady!

Witam
Jakich zwrotów używa się w liście formalnym??
I czy używa się jakiś linking words??np. firstly, moreover itp??
I jak wyrażać swoje niezadowolenie, ale w sposób grzeczny??
Chodzi o to, że mam napisac list do holiday company i mam im w sposób grzeczny powiedzieć, czego nie było w ofercie, jaką mi przedstawili, co mi się nie podobało.
Nie wiem jakich łączników używać.
Poza tym zaczęłam zdanie-I am writing to express my strong dissatisfaction with... i nie wiem co tu wpisać, bop zastanawiam sie, czy to bedzie miec sens, może ktoś mi doradzi??
Proszę o odpowiedzi!!!i rady!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/consumer/how_to_complain/letters.shtml
(tu znajdziesz gotowy przyklad pod: holidays)
Poza tym wpisz w google: complaint letters - jest mnostwo stron z przykladami i przydatnymi zwrotami

po: dissatisfaction with powinien byc rzeczownik, np: the service you provided/ the holiday organised by your company, itp

a to będzie dobrze z tych stron??
zadanie brzmiało:

You recently went on holiday advertised below. However, many of the promises made in advert did not match the reality of the holiday. There were a number of problems with the accommodation and some of the excursions offered were not available. Write a letter to the holiday company, putting your case for some kind of compensation.


W tej reklamie było to:

Spend the best holiday of your life in our

New Holiday Village

Comfortable self-catering chalets sleeping up to 6 people

On-site restaurants, shops and large swimming pool

Many excursions available from the village:

to the mountains

to the historic city of Oldtown with its well-preserved

medieval centre and its magnificent shops

to the splendid beaches on the west coast

to the stunning historic castles for which the region is justly famous.

Końcówkę mam:
For all the damage done, I insist on a full compensation of costs / As a compensation, I would like to get a full refund of costs itd.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Strona, ktora podalam jest z BBC.
Tam znajdziesz wzor, ktory musisz dopasowac do swojego kontekstu/sytuacji. Mozesz tez wykorzystac niektore zwroty.

A co do tej reklamy - nic prostszego - wybierz kilka punktow i wyobraz sobie, ze wszystko poszlo nie tak jak w reklamie. Opisz:
Contrary to the promises made in your brochure, ... (co bylo nie tak)

Jak skonczysz - mozesz przyslac na forum do sprawdzenia.

A to zakonczenie jest OK!

w sumie to ten list z tej strony zawiera duzo zwrotów,które mogę wykorzystać i jedynie dodać kilka sowich zdań....
dzięki wielkie!!

Mógłbyś mi podac swojego maila??
Będzie łatwiej
Jutro bym skończyła ten list....

Okay napisałam drugą wersję zakończenia, chyba tez pasuje;))
Brzmi tak:
Under these regulations you are liable to compensate us for the problems, we encoutered and for distress and disappointment we suffered as a result.

Może być do tego listu takie zakończenie, czy coś zmienić??
proszę o rady!!

oli2- czy może być tez taki początek??

Dear Mr Brown,
I am writing to express my strong dissatisfaction with the self-catering accommodation provided by my family at the stamfore holiday Village from 1-10 February 2007.I have just returned with my family. It was most disappointing.
i jakie słówka jeszcze można użyć zamiast disappoint?? deceive??

I have just returned with my family from holidays??

bez przecinka

THE distress

Oli2 znasz treść zad. czy to zakończenie i początek moga być czy lepeiej napisac te stare wersje??
Prosze odpowiedz~!!~!

with the self-catering accommodation provided by YOUR COMPANY at the Stamfore Holiday Village, where my family and I stayed between 1-10 February 2007. We found the conditions most disappointing.

To drugie zakonczenie jest OK, ale dodaj zdanie, ze jesli czegos w tej sprawie nie zrobia bedziesz zmuszona do dalszych krokow.

a jakie przymiotnika(nagatywnego i dodatniego) można użyć przy rzecz, accommodation??
Np. The accommodation wasn't ( i jakiś pozytyw)np. good, brilliant??
i i że the facilities were horrible??
Prosze o jakieś podpowiedzi.

Najlepiej przeslij calosc na forum, bo wtedy inaczej sie to czyta.

horrible to zbyt emocjonalne
mozesz napisac: was not up to standard

Dear Mr Brown,

I am writing to express my strong dissatisfaction with the self-catering accommodation provided by your y at the Stamfore Holiday Village, where my family and i stayed between 1-10 February 2007. We found the conditions most disappointing.
Contrary to the promises made in brochure, the accommodation was not comfortable and as described in the advert. Instead the facilities were notup to standard . When we arrived, the rooms were not cleaned and the refrigenerator was not working and there was no hot water. To make matters worse, on arrival we found out that there were no such rooms as described in the brochure – the only one type of room to be had being a 12-bed one and we had to pay extra.
Moreover, I went mainly to the holiday because I and my family wanted visit the historic castles and wanted go to the historic city of Oldtown. As it turned out, out of the numerous excursions presented in the brochure the only one really available was that to the western part of the beach. This was very disappointing for us, as we were keen to tour the historic sites. The beache was unclean, the water was cold and my children cannot swim at the sea. We felt very deceive.
Then, you promised that will be a lots of magificent shops and large swimming pool. My children were very unhappy because there was not swimming pool and they cannot also swim in the pool. It was one souvenir shop but we cannot buy good souvenirs for members of family because it was ill-equipped with picture postcards, pendats and many souvenirs bounded up with the place.
Under these regulations you are liable to compensate us for the problems we encountered and for the distress and disappoinment we suffered as a result.
I insist on a full compensation of costs.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

XYZ.

zamiast tego I insist.....
Mam coś w rodzaju: If you don not bring this matter to a speedy conclusion, I will be enforce to next steps.

ale jest pewnie źle:)
Prawda mag....
miałes racje.....wstyd mi nieco, ale tych zdań akurat nie wiedziała jak zrobić,a Ty mi pomogłes. Sorry za podwójne wykorzystanie. będę już pisac jako one person do jednej sprawy.....
Wybacz mi mag....

oprocz tego, co poprawilismy, i kilku utartych formulek, reszta jest zle. To zadanie Cie przeroslo jezykowo, mam nadzieje, ze nauczyciel to zobaczy.
"wybacz" - dobre sobie. Osiagnelas, co chcialas, w przyszlosci pewnie tez bedziesz kombinowac

oprocz tego, co poprawilismy, i kilku utartych formulek, reszta jest zle. To zadanie Cie przeroslo jezykowo, mam nadzieje, ze nauczyciel to zobaczy.
"wybacz" - dobre sobie. Osiagnelas, co chcialas, w przyszlosci pewnie tez bedziesz kombinowac

widocznie nie potrafie byc tak super jak ty
w takim razie Panie Mądry, wytłumacz mi, gdzie jest błąd, i jakich powinnam użyć czasów, bo nie wiem w taki razie....

na wlasnie. Nie wiesz i liczysz, ze ktos odrobi te prace domowa, zebys mogla dostac dobry stopien.

chodzi, że zamiast cannot swim powinien być użyty inny czas?
ja napisałabym to prosztszym językiem, ale jak ma być bardziej wyszukany, to okay korzystam z porad innych......

nie, bo zaczęłam pisac sama........

Contrary to the promises made in YOUR brochure, the accommodation was not comfortable, as described in the advert. Instead the facilities were not up to standard . When we arrived, the rooms LOOKED LIKE THEY HAD not BEEN cleaned, the refrigenerator was OUT OF ORDER and there was no hot water. To make matters worse, on arrival we found out that THE rooms described in the brochure WERE NOT AVAILABLE - the only one type of room to be had WAS a 12-bed one FOR WHICH we had to pay extra.
Moreover, OUR MAIN REASON TO BOOK the holiday WAS THAT and my family AND I wanted visit the historic castles AS WELL AS the historic city of Oldtown. As it turned out, out of the numerous excursions presented in the brochure the only one really available was THE TRIP to the western part of the beach. This was very disappointing for us, as we were keen to tour the historic sites. The beach was unclean, the water was cold and my children cannot swim at the sea. QUITE UNDERSTANDABLY, we felt deceiveD.
FURTHERMORE, ACCORDING TO THE BROCHURE, WE WERE TO EXPECT A LARGE SWIMMING POOL AND MAGNIFICENT SHOPS. TO EVERYONE'S DISAPPOINTMENT, THE RESORT OFFERED NO SWIMMING POOL AT ALL AND MERELY A SINGLE POORLY STOCKED SOUVENIR SHOP.

CONSIDERING the problems we encountered AS WELL AS the distress and disappoinment we suffered as a result, I DEMAND a full REFUND OF THE COST OF THE HOLIDAY.

I am looking forward to YOUR PROMPT REPLY

z tym, ze nie tak pięknie, chciałam prosić o rady, prosiłam...
Mam napisane nieco inaczej na brudno, ale Ty będziesz sie czepiał wszytkiego,sorry