Rozprawka - Zalety i wady pracy w domu w dobie internetu.

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Witam, bardzo bym prosił o sprawdzenie poniższego tekstu:

Doubtless, advantages of this kind of work is independent. It only from our creativity, commitment and persistence will be depend our success. We must have original idea or strategy to fill up recess on market. One of disadvantages is risk of investment. Real earning is bonding with permanently invest money and we are endanger at risk. Next disadvantages is lack sense of security. We can observe it on the Internet, where always appearing something new, for example new job offers, new ways to earn money and sometimes it is very confusing. Following disadvantages is a lot of overtimes. If we had a online shop, we are dealer, secretary, storekeeper in one person. Least at beginning it is a really hard work to control all these things. But one hour nod in this kind of "job" is not wrong thing. This is advantage that we can working at different hours and nobody keep an eye on us. Another disadvantages is continuously work on computer, what is not healthy for us. Link together work and family life is exceptionally difficult when the place where we work is our family house. We should plan this in that way, where won't be any conflicts and contraindication.
Doubtless, (tu brakuje przedimka) advantages of this kind of work is 'independent.' (zla czesc mowy)
It IS only from our creativity, commitment and persistence 'will be depend our success' (to jest niegram - zmien cale zdanie i zacznij...Our success will....),. We must have original idea or strategy to fill up (tu brakuej przedimka) 'recess' (zle slowo-popraw) on (przedimek) market. One of (przedimek) disadvantages is risk of investment. Real earning is bonding with permanently 'invest' (zla czesc zdania i pomysl co chcesz napisac) (tu brak slowa) money and we are 'endanger at risk' (cos tu nie tak) . (przedimek) next 'disadvantages is' (nie, nie mzoe tak byc, bo rzeczownik musi sie zgadzac z czasownikiem, a ty masz l. mn z l. poj - zmien) lack sense of security. We can observe it on the Internet, where THERE always 'appearing' (zla czesc mowy) something new, for example new job offers, new ways to earn money and sometimes it is very confusing. Following disadvantages is a lot of 'overtimes' (to slowo nie za bardzo istnieje w jez. ang. - cos to zdanie nie jest tak) . If we had aN online shop, we are (przedimek) dealer, secretary, storekeeper in one person. 'Least' (niepotr) At (przedimek) beginning it is 'a' (niepotr) really hard work to control all these things. But one hour 'nod' ( nie za bardzo trafne slowo) in this kind of "job" is not (przedimek) wrong thing. This is (przedimek) advantage that we can 'working' (zla czesc mowy) at different hours and nobody keepS an eye on us. Another 'disadvantages' (ale tutaj mowisz o l. poj - zmien) is continuously workING on (przedimek) computer, 'what' (kalka z polskiego tutaj WHICH) is not healthy for us. THE linkING together (brak slowa) work and family life is exceptionally difficult when the place where we work is our family 'house' (daj tutaj slowo HOME). We should plan this in 'that' A way, where THERE won't be any conflicts and 'contraindication' (ortog).
Dziękuje bardzo za pomoc :)

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