Rozprawka na rozszerzenie- proszę o pomoc

Komputery stają się coraz bardziej popularnem ale eksperci twierdzą, iż powszechna komputeryzacja zburzy normalne stosunki międzyludzkie. Napisz rozprawkę podając argumenty za i przeciw tej tezie oraz własnę opinię.

Having computer is a common thing in people's life. Computers influence to our working or learning. However, in reality having computer may be very un beneficial. It will be destructive impact to people and relations beetween them.

Firstly,experts told a truth. People set up a account in popular serwis. People send them photographies and datebase about their priviate life. It is obivious that Internet become a place, when people are chating. They would like to make each other' s acquaintance. People prefer sitting on the Internet than go out. You don' t know an authentic person. This situation may result in to change your' s relationship with normal people.

On the other hand, computerization may be a profitable in contact with other people. There is no denying, that a lots of people are shy. In this situation they often look friends in the Internet. Next to some time they are meeting in real life. The relationship contribute to our personal development. We know a very fantastic people, who pentetrate to our life for long time. For instance. we know a people who have got a similar passion to us.

It seems to me, that is magnificial issue. I think that computers and this process may be help us to open on other people. I use diffrent portals on the Internet. I know a lots of things about fantastic people.

Finally, common in computerization have got a drawbacks and adventages. It may be issue of discussion. Probably, this matter is depend on our point of view. Relationship can be in the Internet, but we don' t forget about real life.
We can not to limit to one of them aspects.

(279 słów)

Having computer is a common thing in people's 'life' (jak juz piszesz 'people;'-l. mn to musisz tez napisac 'life' w l. mn). Computers influence 'to' (to jest niepotr) our working or learning. However, in reality having (brak cos) computer may be very 'unbeneficial' (ok ale poszukaj inne slowo). It will 'be' (lepiej 'have') (brak cos) destructive impact 'to' (zle slowo) people and relations 'beetween' (ortog) them.

Firstly, experts 'told' (ale jaki i kiedy? zle slowo) 'a' (to znaczy ze sa 'inne' truth, bo oni tylko wybrali jeden z wielu?) truth. People set up 'a' (zly przedimek - popraw) account in popular 'serwis' (to nie jest ang slowo). People send 'them' (do kogo to sie odnosi?) 'photographies' (to nie jest ang slowo) and 'datebase' (ortog) about their priviate 'life' (znowu 'people' i life' -popraw). It is obivious that Internet (tu brakuje cos) become a place, when people are 'chating' (ortog).
People prefer sitting 'on' (kalka popraw) the Internet than (tu cos brakuje) go out. You don' t know an authentic person (o yes I do - o co tu chodzi w tym zdaniu?) . This situation may result in 'to' (niepotr) (daj tutaj przedimek) change (tu cos brakuje) 'your' s' (to jest zle slowo, tutaj YOUR) relationship with 'normal' (co to znaczy normal w dzisiejszym swiecie?) people.

On the other hand, computerization may be 'a' (po co to?) profitable (daj tutaj pare innych slow)main contact with other people. There is no denying, that 'a' (po co to?) lots of people are shy. In this situation they often look (tu brakuje slowa) friends in the Internet. Next 'to some time' (cos tu nie tak) they are meeting (ale kogo?) in real life. The relationship 'contribute' (3os.l.poj) to our personal development. We know 'a' (nie dajemy 'a' przed l. mnoga jaka tu masz w 'people') very fantastic people, who pentetrate 'to' (niepotr) our life for (tu cos brak) long time. For instance. we know 'a' (co jest z tym 'a' - lubisz to czy cos?) people who have got a similar passion to us.

It seems to me, that (tu cos brak) is 'magnificial' (popraw) issue. I think that computers and this process may 'be'(niepotr) help us to open 'on' (napisz to inaczej...up to) other people. I use 'diffrent' (ortog) portals on the Internet. I know 'a' (niepotr) lots of things about fantastic people.

Finally, 'common' (zle slowo) in computerization have got 'a' (niepotr) drawbacks and 'adventages' (ortog). It may be (tu cos brak) issue of discussion. Probably, this matter 'is' (niepotr) 'depend' (3os.l.poj) on our point of view. Relationship can be 'in' (daj 'on') the Internet, but we 'don' t' (tu masz zle, tu powiennien byc modal, np should not) forget about real life.
We can not 'to' (niepotr) limit to one of 'them' (kolokw - popraw) aspects.

dziękuje bardzo za pomoc już ją poprawiłam. teraz będę bardziej ostrożna