POPRAWA ROZPRAWKI 'Adolescence is the unhappiest time in most people's life'

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Napisałam rozprawkę,wiem,ze bezbłedna ona nie jest,wiec liczę na waszą życzliwość i pomoc.

A lot of people think that adolescence is the unhappiest time in theirs life.A diccionary define adolescence that it is a transitional stage of physical and mental human development generally occurring between puberty and legal adulthood, but largely characterized as beginning and ending with the teenage stage. Children start step into adult life,the clash in this world can sometimes be traumatic so maybe that's why people think it's a bad period in thiers life.
Why people can don't like this time?FIrstly, in teenager's head start a new king of thinking,adolecent is considering things that previously didn't pay any attention.It's usuallt makes that teens think very sad. He learn that the world is not just a play, laugh and candy.Needs to be accepted in a peer group and if it doesn't,there often appear brakdowns and "moods".Finally, rejection by parents also promotes negative feelings, young people need a support,which they often don't have.
However, there are a few positive things being teenager.The biggest advantage is first falling in love which is considered for something the best and remembered for many yearsUsually friendships with the later phase of this period stayed for a long time or even forever..Secondly, who doesn't mention the best events, the first contact with the stimulants, and bending the law? All of this things gives a sense of freedom, which is really important for young people. Finally, this is the greatest time to develop their hobby and what they like or love to do. This behaviour makes that young people feel needed, fulfilled.
To summ up,adolecsence is hard time, but it involves a lot of positive things. In my opisnion this is the best time in life.I'm teenager and surely the freedom which you don't have heither in childhood nor in adult life. But for some people the challenge which is adolescence makes it enjoyable time,fot others it can be the opposite.
A lot of people think that adolescence is the unhappiest time in 'theirs' (tu ma byc slowo THEIR, zobacz roznice) life. A 'diccionary' (ortog) 'define' |(tu ma byc 3os.l.poj) adolescence 'that it is' AS a transitional stage of physical and mental human development generally occurring between puberty and legal adulthood, but largely characterized as beginning and ending with the teenage stage. Children start 'step' (zle slowo) into adult life, the clash (ale pomiedzy czym?) in this world can sometimes be traumatic so maybe that's why people think it's a bad period in 'thiers' (a co to za slowo jest?) life.
Why IS IT THAT people 'can' (niepotr) don't like this time? FIrstly, in (brak przedimka) teenager's head 'start' (3os.l.poj) a new 'king' (ortog?) of thinking,(brak przedimka) adolecent is considering things that previously (ale kto? musisz napisac) didn't pay any attention TO. 'It's' (zle slowo) 'usuallt' (ortog) 'makes' (zle slowo) that teens think very sad THOUGHTS. 'He' (a dlaczego niby nie 'she'?) 'learn' (tu ma byc 3os l.poj.dlaczego musze o tym przypominac, przeciez jak masz 'he' to chyba cos to daje znac) that the world is not just 'a play' (nbie rozumiem tego), laugh and candy.(ale kto? ja? ty?) needs to be accepted in a peer group and if 'it' (do czego to 'it' sie odnosi? mam nadzieje ze nie do tego 'he'-czlowieka. O ludziach nie mowimy 'it') doesn't, there often appear brakdowns and "moods".Finally, rejection by parents also promotes negative feelings, young people need 'a' (po co to 'a' tutaj jest?) support,which they often don't have.
However, there are a few positive things (brakuje slowa) being (brak prxzedimka) teenager.The biggest advantage is first falling in love which is considered 'for' (zle slowo) something 'the' (niepotr) 'best' (uzyj inne slowo) and remembered for many years. Usually friendships with the later phase of this period 'stayed' (dlaczego piszesz to w czasie przeszlym?) for a long time or even forever..Secondly, 'who doesn't mention' (tego nie rozumiem) the best events, the first contact with 'the' (dlaczego 'the' tutaj?) stimulants, and bending the law? All of 'this' (ale przeciez 'things' to l. mn- dostosuj slowo) things 'gives' (jak juz piszesz 'things'- to dostosuj slowo do l. mn) a sense of freedom, which is really important for young people.
This behaviour 'makes' (kalka z polskiego, uzyj inne slowo) that young people feel needed AND fulfilled.
To 'summ' (ortog) up,adolecsence is (brak przedimka) hard time, but it involves a lot of positive things. In my 'opisnion' (ortog) this is the best time in life.I'm (brak przedimka) teenager and 'surely the freedom which you don't have' (tego nie rozumiem) 'heither' (ortog) in childhood nor in adult life. But for some people the challenge which is adolescence makes it (brak przedimka) enjoyable time,'fot' (ortog) others it can be the opposite.

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