proszę o sprawdzenie listu i krótkiej formy użytkowej :)

krótka forma :

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am interested at trip to Ireland. I wish there was a nice accomodation for three people. How much this trip is cost? Could I get some bonus?
Yours faithfully, XYZ


list:
Dear Matt,
I’m sorry I haven’t written for so long but I have been busy. How are you? It was nice to get your letter. I’m writing to tell you my news.
Me and my mates showed a performance during a school party. It was because of that we are leaving this school soon. That performance was called ‘Goodbye school’ and It was really funny. We have been preparing that show for 2 months. I had to write a plan of this and I played as a headteacher . Unfortunatelly, we didn’t have place for efforts. We couldn’t do this in school but our friend, who really enjoy that show, said that we could do this in your house. Spectators were really enjoyed. Money that we picked from a sale of tickets, we will give for children from children’s home.
I must go now. I’m waiting for you letter.
Take care, XYZ.

I am interested 'at' (zle slowo) (brak przedimka) trip to Ireland.
I wish there was a nice accomodation for three people. ....tego zdania nie rozumiem...
How much (brak modala) this trip 'is' (calkowicie nie rozumiem uzycia 'is' tutaj) cost?
Could I get some 'bonus' (a niby za co? to jest zle slowo)?


Me and my mates 'showed' (zle slowo) a performance during a school party.
.... It was because of that we are leaving this school soon. ...To zdanie znaczy calkowicie cos innego, wg mnie to zrobiliscie przedstawienie, i dlatego teraz musiscie opuscic szkole-daje znac, ze cos zle bylo.
That 'performance' (to jest zle slowo, pomysl co ty piszesz) was called ‘Goodbye school’ and It was really funny. We have been preparing (brak slowa) that 'show' (hello? jak to jeden raz jest 'performance' a drugi 'show', tutaj ma byc 'show') for 2 months. I had to write a plan of this and I played 'as' (niepotr) a headteacher . 'Unfortunatelly' (ortog), we didn’t have 'place for efforts' (tego nie rozumiem). We couldn’t do 'this' (nie wiem do czego to 'this' sie odnosi) in school but our friend, who really 'enjoy' (zly czas, tutaj simple past) that show, said that we could do 'this' (nie wiem dalej co to 'this' jest) in 'your' (w moim? chyba zle slowo) house.
Spectators were really enjoyed (to zdanie jest niegram. dlaczego slowo w slowo tlumaczyles jego z jez. polskiego - na tym etapie powinnienes juz umiec tworzyc simple zdania).
Money that we picked from 'a' (zle slowo) sale of (brak przedimka) tickets, we will give for children from children’s home.

Masz probkem z przedimkami (a, an, the) no i z tworzeniem zdan.

interest in the trip ?
how much would this trip cost?
discount

played a performance ?
chcialam napisać, że to przedstawienie było z okazji tego, że opuszczamy już tę szkołę. for our leaving this school ?
to w pierwszym zdaniu może być performance czy też musi być show ?
place for efforts - chodziło mi o miejsce do prób. this - właśnie próby.
spectators really enjoyed that show.
your to oczywiście pomyłka... his.


nie wiem czemu tak źle mi poszło... przeważnie dość dobrze mi to wychodziło.

'played' GAVE a performance ?
chcialam napisać, że to przedstawienie było z okazji tego, że opuszczamy już tę szkołę.
'for our leaving this school ?...'
...Ja wiem co chcialas napisac, ale tego nie napisalas. Tutaj...on the occassion of leaving this school.

'place for efforts' - chodziło mi o miejsce do prób. this - właśnie próby.
Nie rozumiem dlaczego pomyslalas, ze 'efforts' to sa proby - aha wiem, zerknelas do slownika ale bez wytlumaczenia jak sie slowa uzywa, to taki slownik Cie bladzi. Tutaj to pasuje slowo 'rehersal' napewno slyszlas go.

okej dziękuję.

to w jakim sensie mozna używać slowa effort?

It was a big effort to prepare such a great performance.

With (an) effort they managed to prepare such a marvellous performance.

* rehearsal