Rozprawka - proszę o sprawdzenie

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Serdecznie proszę o sprawdzenie rozprawki i wskazanie błędów.

More and more people are using the most popular community portal – facebook. We can point out some advantages and disadvantages of this situation.
First of all, facebook can help be in touch with friends. We substitute a mobile phone or a instant messenger by it. Using this website is easier and faster. Secondly, thanks to this website we have the option of finding our old friends. It renew us contact people, which we didn't see for a few years. Moreover, we can find there a lot of information about interesting things. We follow there a site of favourite bands, singers or clubs. It help keep abreast of novelty.
On the other hand, people using facebook can have problem with making friends in real life. When someone spend too much time chatting in the Internet can't then get to know new people. Futhermore, many people become dependent on this. They right after their coming back to home from work whether school enter facebook and check who added something of a novelty. Therefore they are neglectful of one's duties. Finally, using the community portal is dangerous. When we add there too much information about our life, someone abuse it against us. We should too be careful with adding photos.
All things considered, it can be seen that this phenomenon has a lot of benefit; besides, it has also a few drawback. Using facebook can help us in everyday life, but it isn't always safe.
Może jednak?
Cytat: N55
Serdecznie proszę o sprawdzenie rozprawki i wskazanie błędów.

More and more people are using the most popular community portal – facebook. We can point out some advantages and disadvantages of this situation.
First of all, facebook can help KOMU be in touch with friends. We substitute a mobile phone or a instant messenger by it ZLA SKLADNIA, NIE TEN PRZYIMEK, ZAMIAST 'WE SUBSTITUTE' NAPISZ 'UIZYWAMY GO ZAMIAST...'. Using this website is easier and faster. Secondly, thanks to this website we have the option TO NIE JEST OPCJA PROGRAMU. NAPISZ 'WE CAN' of finding our old friends. It renew ZLA FORMA CZASOWNIKA us contact ZLY ZWROT people, which LUDZIE TO NIE RZECZY I NIEPOTRZEBNY P[RZECINEK we didn't see for a few years. Moreover, we can find there a lot of information about interesting things. We follow there a site of favourite bands, singers or clubs WSZYSTKIE MAJA JEDNA WITRYNE?. It help PODSTAAOWY BLAD GRAMATYCZNY keep abreast of novelty. TRANSLATOREK?
On the other hand, people using facebook can have PRZEDIMEK LUB LICZBA MNOGA problem with making friends in real life. When someone spend ROZPRAWKI SA TRUDNE, JEZELI ROBI SIE TAKIE BLEDY GRAMATYCZNE too much time chatting in the Internet PODMIOT can't then get to know new people. Futhermore, many people become dependent on this CZEGO?. They right after their coming back to home from work whether TRANSLATOREK? school enter<-ZLY CZASOWNIK, LEPIEJ 'LOGUJA SIE NA' facebook TO NAJPIERW, A POTEM 'RIGHT AFTER' and check who NIE TEN CZAS added something of a novelty PRETENSJONALNE. Therefore they are neglectful of one's NIE WIADOMO CZYICH OBOWIAZKOW duties. Finally, using the community portal is dangerous. When we add there too much information about our life, someone TU CZASOWNIK MODALNY abuse it against us. We should ALSO be careful ABOUT adding photos.
All things considered, it can be seen that this phenomenon has a lot of benefit MA BYC LICZBA MNOGA, ALE TO JEST BLAD MERYTORYCZNY, BO KORZYSC WYMIENIASZ MOZE JEDNA; besides, it has also a few drawback KILKA WADA. Using facebook can help us in everyday life, but it isn't always safe.
Dziękuję. :)

More and more people are using the most popular community portal – facebook. We can point out some advantages and disadvantages of this situation.

First of all, facebook can help people be in touch with friends. We use it instead of a mobile phone. Using this website is easier and faster. Secondly, thanks to this website we can find our old friends. It renews us be in contact with people who we didn't see for a few years. Moreover, we can find there a lot of information about interesting things. We follow there a sites of favourite bands, singers or clubs. It helps to keep abreast of novelty.

On the other hand, people using facebook can have a problem with making friends in real life. When someone spends too much time chatting in the Internet he can't then get to know new people. Futhermore, many people become dependent on this site. They login to facebook right after their coming back to home from work or school and check who has added a new post or photo. Therefore they are neglectful of one's their duties. Finally, using the community portal is dangerous. When we add there too much information about our life, someone can abuse it against us. We should also be careful about adding photos.

All things considered, it can be seen that this phenomenon has a lot of benefits; besides, it has also a few drawbacks. Using facebook can help us in everyday life, but it isn't always safe.

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