Plotka w Present Perfect

Witam serdecznie miałem napisać Plotkę w Present Perfect. Proszę o poprawienie ewentualnych błędów, może zniwelowanie jakiś powtórzeń :) Tekst musi być jak najprostszy :)



Rihanna has broken up with her boyfriend.
Rihanna has had a bad day, she has drunk too much alcohol and she has wanted to see her boyfriend.
She has gone to her flat. She has very angry, because her boyfriend was out.
When Rihanna has called to him, she has heard another women in telephone.
He was in club with ex-girlfriend.
Rihanna has gone to this club for broke up with him and slapped in the face.

nie da sie napisac takiej plotki w czasie present Perfect
Kiedy zaczynas zopowiadac, oc sie stalo, tworzyc ciag wydarzen, musisz uzyc Simple Past

Racja .'the first mention' w present perfect ...a potem dalsze 'detale' w simple past .

a da się w ogole stworzyć plotkę w Present Perfect? Albo przerobić jakoś tą?
Niestety polecenie odgórnie podyktowane przez nauczyciela i musi ona być w Present Perfect :)

nie moze byc ' she has very angry' .

Czyli poprawiając tą plotkę:


Rihanna has broken up with her boyfriend.

Rihanna had a bad day, she drank too much alcohol and she wanted to see her boyfriend.
She went to his flat. She was very angry, because her boyfriend was out.
When Rihanna called to him, she heard another women in telephone.
He was in club with ex-girlfriend.
Rihanna went to this club for broke up with him and slapped him in the face.


Teraz prawidłowo?

called him
inną kobiety?
club i girlfriend są policzalne
'for broke up' niegramatyczne

Można zamknąć i przenieść do kosza albo usunąć :)

Once Rihanna managed to get through him , there was another woman's voice ..

Roberto, popraw