Opinion essay - proszę o sprawdzenie

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Turning eighteen is for almost all teenagers a very important moment in their life and almost all of them throw a great party for this occasion. Moreover, many of them, decide to combine the parties of two or three friends and organize a mutual birthday celebration. Personally, I believe that is a so attractive solution for a person who throws a party but also for guests of this event.
The first advantage of the combined parties for an organizer of the event is that the location of a party is mutual so other organizers do not have to look for a place for the party. Secondly, the costs of the event could be divided into two or three people and therefore an organizer can save some money. Last, but not least, if an event is organized by two or more people cases related with organization could be also divided into more people and it may be a great convenience for everybody.
From the guests' poin of view this solution also has many benefits. First of all, at the mutual party guests can play their friends but also meet new people and forge new relationships. Moreover, if two people throw a birthday party on the same day someone who is invited does not have to choose betwen them. In addition, it is certain that more people means more fun.
To sum up, mutual birthday parties are in my opinion is a great idea and have many benefits for organizers and guests. Neverthless, everyone should consider that and make their own choice.
Turning eighteen is for almost all teenagers a very important moment in their life and almost all of them throw a great party for this occasion. Moreover, many of them, decide to combine the parties of two or three friends and organize a mutual birthday celebration. Personally, I believe that is a NIEPOTRZEBNE 'SO' so attractive solution for a person who throws a party but also for PRZEDIMEK guests of this event.
The first advantage of the combined parties for an organizer of the event is that the location of a party is mutual<-- WG MNIE TO SLOWO TUTAJ NIE PASUJE so other organizers do not have to look for a place for the party. Secondly, the costs of the event could be divided into two or three people and therefore an organizer can save some money. Last, but not least, if an event is organized by two or more people cases <-- TO TEZ WG MNIE NIE PASUJE related with organization could be also divided into more people and it may be a great convenience for everybody.
From the guests' poin of view this solution also has many benefits. First of all, at the mutual party guests can play<-- ZLE SLOWO their friends but also meet new people and forge new relationships. Moreover, if two people throw a birthday party on the same day someone who is invited does not have to choose betwen them. In addition, it is certain that more people means more fun.
To sum up, mutual<--TO SAMO birthday parties are in my opinion is a great idea and have many benefits for organizers and guests. Neverthless, everyone should consider that and make their own choice.
common, shared, combined?
combined
divided INTO raczej nie w tym kontekście. Ja bym dał np. between, among, ew. zmienił na shared by;)

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