Rozprawka o sieciach społecznościowych - Matura rozszerzona

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Witam, uczę się sam do matury z j.ang i potrzebuję sprawdzenia mojej pracy. Chciałbym, aby ktoś wyróżnił błędy jakie popełniłem i gdzie.

Z góry dzięki ;)

Years ago, there had not been social networks. We used to call only using telephone to contact with somebody. Nowadays, we are spending a lot of time on social networks, where we have our second life. I want to show pros and cons of the most popular social-networking site – Facebook. Now, it has over one and a half billion users from around the world.

At first, I would like to show benefits of using social-networking sites. The main argument that encourage you to use it is that you can easily contact with somebody for free and without limits. For instance, if you want to contact with your uncle from U.S. it is a lot better option than calling him because of roaming charges. Moreover, you can meet people around the world without travelling. It is great opportunity to learn new culture. In addition, if you use Facebook every day then you are always up-to-date with events. Something on your event that you are attending changed? You will know about it immediately.

From the another hand, Facebook could be harmful. First of all, it can make you depressed. You make your second life feel more important. For instance, if somebody is harming you at Facebook then it feels more harassing than it could be in reality. Furthermore, Facebook could make you less social. Since you use it, you mustn’t ask somebody what he was doing today and you are starting to have problems with communicating. Finally, this webpage gathers dozens of information about you. Facebook knows more about you than yourself.

Therefore, Facebook is good for you? In my opinion – Yes, but only if you will use it responsibly. Lots of people uses it without limits and they end up with depression.
Years ago, there had not been social networks CZEMU TU DALES PAST PERFECT?. We used to call only using telephone to contact with<-NIEPOTRZEBNE SLOWO somebody. Nowadays, we are spending a lot of time on social networks, where we have our second life. I want to show pros and cons of the most popular social-networking site – Facebook. Now, it has over one and a half billion users from around the world.

At first, I would like to show benefits of using social-networking sites. The main argument that encourage <--NIEGRAMAT you to use it is that you can easily contact with somebody for free and without limits. For instance, if you want to contact with your uncle from U.S. it is a lot MUCH better option than calling him because of roaming charges. Moreover, you can meet people around the world without travelling. It is PRZEDIMEK great opportunity to learn new culture. In addition, if you use Facebook every day then you are always up-to-date with events. Something on your event that you are attending changed?<--TO ZDANIE NIE BRZMI ZBYT DOBRZE You will know about it immediately.

From the another hand<-- NIE MA TAKIEGO WYRAZENIA, Facebook could be harmful. First of all, it can make you depressed. You make your second life feel more important. For instance, if somebody is harming you at <--ZLY PRZYIMEK Facebook then it feels more harassing<--ZLE SLOWO than it could be in reality. Furthermore, Facebook could make you less social. Since <--CO TO ZNACZY? you use it, you mustn’t<--NIE WOLNO? ask somebody what he was doing NIE WIEM CZY TU CZAS JEST DOBRYtoday and you are starting to have problems with communicating. Finally, this webpage gathers dozens of information about you. Facebook knows more about you than yourself.

Therefore, Facebook is good for you?<--INWERSJA In my opinion – Yes, but only if you will use it responsibly. Lots of people uses <--NIEGRAMAT it without limits and they end up with depression.
edytowany przez zielonosiwy: 01 maj 2015
dodam od siebie:

We used to call (ale kogo? nieznajomego fryzjera? kolege z pracy?) only using )jaki to byl telephone? mobile? fixed? stationery? home?) telephone to contact...
Nowadays, 'we' (sorry, ale dlaczego piszesz 'we' - nie wlaczaj mnie w te social networks, bo nawet nie wiem co to jest-) are spending a lot of time on social networks, where we have our second life. I want to show (brakuje przedimka) pros and cons of the most popular social-networking site – Facebook. 'Now' (to znaczy kiedy? moze miesiac i rok) , it has over one and a half billion users from around the world.

At first, I would like to show (brak przedimka) benefits of using social-networking sites. The main argument that encourage <--NIEGRAMAT you to use it is that you can easily (tu brakuje slowa) contact with somebody for free and without limits. For instance, if you want to contact 'with' (niepotr slowo) your uncle from U.S. it is a MUCH better option than calling him because of (brak przedimka) roaming charges.
Something on your event that you are attending changed?<--TO ZDANIE NIE BRZMI ZBYT DOBRZE You will know about it immediately. (tego zdania to calkowicie nie rozumiem, tu jest za duzo mysli, zamiast to powolutku napisac dla ludzi ktorzy na tym sie calkowicie nie znaja)

Finally, this webpage gathers 'dozens of information' (nie rozumiem co to jest) about you. Facebook knows more about you than (tu brakuje slowa) yourself.

Zastanawia mnie tylko, jak normalni ludzie potrafili dawniej zyc bez tych 'social media'?

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