1 paragraph beginning with ; I don't like.....

I don't like being sick.When I'm sick everything around me seems to be awful and hopeless.It makes me feel very tired and I don't want to do anything. I don't like being sick because then I can't focus on the basic activities: I'm not strong enough to even tidy my room or do my homework. I'm sleepy and exhausted all the time, moreover I look like a monster with a red running nose. Being sick means taking a lot of pills and drinking horrible sirup every day, I hate it. The worst thing of being sick is for me disability to say or eat anything because of hurting throat.

runny nose
the worst thing about... for me is that I can't... because my throat hurts

przed moreover kropka, po moreover przecinek
przed 'I hate it' myslnik lub kropka, nie przecinek

nie bede tego wiecej czytal, bo poczuje sie chory :-)

tidy up
przedimek przed sYrup i zamiast przecinka daj kropke, albo napisz 'which I hate doing'
przedimek przed disability i throat

hurting ? hmm, /I can't stand properly because my knee's hurting/ ..za mocne slowo , dalbym 'sore throat"

np
inability

I don't want to do anything- mozesz tez napisac: I can't be bothered to do anything.
I'm not strong enough- I'm too weak
The worst thing of being sick is for me disability to say or eat anything because of hurting throat. - napisalabym: I think that the worst part about being sick is having difficulty speaking and swallowing caused by a sore/irritated throat.

having difficulty...caused... to nie ten styl, ktorego tu trzeba

To moze zostac because of :), ''disability to say'' razilo po oczach, mozna uzyc tez inability to speak ale w sumie tez jest dosc formalne i tak naprawde w czasie choroby mamy tylko jakies czesciowe problemy z mowieniem i jedzeniem niz calkowita ''niezdolnosc''. Probowalam pokombinowac z problems, trouble ale jakos nie wychodzi mi spojne zdanie.
Czepiajac sie zbyt formalnego stylu ''moreover'' tez powinno byc zastapione np ''plus''

cos juz wczesniej napisalem