Sprawdzenie listu motywacyjnego

Nauka angielskiego już dawno za mną i co nieco się zapomniało ;) Nie używałem angielskiego w piśmie od egzaminu na studiach, przez co mam z tym teraz kłopoty. Napisałem jak umiałem i znając życie zrobiłem mnóstwo błędów. Pomógłby mi ktoś przy sprawdzeniu, co mógłbym poprawić, a co inaczej napisać. Będę bardzo wdzięczny!

Dear Sirs,
I would like to apply for the position of Aircraftsman or CAMO Engineer. I am ready to work both in Warsaw and Świdnik.
I am particularly interested in job for you, because I want gain experience and broaden my knowledge about helicopters. My graduation work pertained to NOTAR helicopters, I know that you have in your fleet helicopter MD 900 Expolrer. I have theoretical knowledge about NOTAR helicopters, and I want to learn in practice.
During studies I had taken part in many student activities. Thanks this I had known how work in group. I had mastered responsibility and conscientiousness when I had managed recreation centre.
I passed 10 with 12 exam to modules who need to mechanical license B1.3. In CV are written all my modules. Due to the fact that I graduated Aviation Technical College time to gain mechanical licence is shortened by 2 years.
I was on traineeships in Medical Air Rescue. I could see how look in practice mechanic job. During studies I worked in Wroclaw Airport, where i got to know rules of safety in aviation. I assisted in technical support Boeing 737 Ryanair airline.
Work in your company will allow me to broaden their knowledge about aviation. This position as a welcome challenge, which I look forward to.

Yours sincerely,

I am particularly interested 'in job for you' (cos tutaj nie tak, pomysl dokladnie co chcesz napisac), because I want TO gain experience and broaden my knowledge about helicopters. My graduation work pertained to NOTAR helicopters(,) (ja bym tutaj dala przecinek) I know that you have in your fleet helicopter (tutaj daj przedimek) MD 900 'Expolrer' (blad ortog - nie rob tego). I have theoretical knowledge about NOTAR helicopters, and I want to 'learn in practice' (ja bym to napisala inaczej...and I want to put my knowledge into practice).
During (tutaj cos brakuje, np. MY) studies I had taken part in many student activities. 'Thanks this' (nie, nie, nie, to jst tak bardzo polskie - juz o tym pisalam, lepiej....This had given me experience in .. 'I had known' (niepotr) how TO work in (przedimek) group. I had (ja bym tutaj dodala 'also') mastered responsibility and conscientiousness when I 'had' (niepotr) managed (brak przedimka - nie rob tego, bo to wyglada tak zle) recreation centre (tutaj ja dodalabym gdzie i kiedy).
I passed '10 with 12 exam' (tego to nie rozumiem, bo jak 10 z 12, to 10 from 12) 'to' (nierozumiem co to robi tutaj) modules 'who need to' (niepotr) (for a) 'mechanical license' (daj duze litery, to jest nazwa wlasna, - dlaczego to musze Ci przypominac) B1.3. 'In CV are written' (nie, to jest niezgrabne, jak jakas kobieta z krzywimy nogami...My CV lists) all my modules.
Due to the fact that I graduated FROM THE Aviation Technical College (tu brak przedimka) time to gain (przedimek) Mechanical Licence is shortened by 2 years.
I 'was on traineeships' (nie, nie tak, lepiej...trained) in (brak przedimka) Medical Air Rescue. I could see how 'look in practice mechanic job' (nie, to musi byc biernie, a mechanicS job looks in practice). During MY studies I worked 'in' (zle slowo, tutaj AT) Wroclaw Airport, where 'i' (hello? popraw to slowo) 'got to know' (nie, napisz 'became familiar with) rules of (jest przyjete, ze mowimy 'health and safety') safety in aviation. I ALSO assisted in technical support OF THE Boeing 737 Ryanair airline.
This position 'as' (zle slowo) a welcome challenge, which I (ja dalabym tutaj modal 'would') look forward to.
'Yours sincerely,' (nie, jak zaczynamy listy 'Dear Sir', to konczymy 'Yours faithfully')