List motywacyjny

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Proszę o sprawdzenie :)

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Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to an advertisement, which I have seen on your website. I would like to apply for the position of bartender.
I am a Polish girl who is currently studying in her second year of Psychology at Glasgow University. My timetable gives me a lot of free time after lessons, so I have decided that it would be an excellent occasion to earn some extra money. I am not a native speaker, but I have been studying in the UK about a year now, so I am fluent in English and Polish of course. I am also trying to learn Italian and I know the basics.
I am not inexperienced in bartending. Back in 2017, when I finished high school in my home city, I was working as a bartender in the Sherlock Holmes Pub. The extent of my duties was including receiving orders, making drinks, operating a cash register and cleaning my workplace. My employer was always very satisfied with my work; I attach a reference from Ms. Katarzyna Czarnecka, who is the owner of the Sherlock Holmes Pub and my line manager.
I think I also have the right personal skills for this job. I like to talk to people and listen to them, which is very important in work such as that. I am well-organized and I always try to fulfill my duties with all my heart and focus on the job.
I hope you will give me an opportunity to talk to you face-to-face in an interview. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
XYZ
I'd write "I've got some experience in bartending..." instead of I'm not inexperienced in bartending...
Similarly I'd lose I am not a native speaker.
edytowany przez Aaric: 21 mar 2019
Rzeczywiście, zaprzeczenia w liście motywacyjnym brzmią słabo, dzięki!
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to an advertisement, which I 'have seen' (nie, tutaj lepiej pasuje 'saw') on your website (dopisz kiedy, data). I would like to apply for the position of (a gdzie przedimek?) bartender.
I am a Polish girl 'who is' (niepotrz) currently studying 'in her' (niepotr) second year of Psychology at Glasgow University. My timetable gives me a lot of free time after lessons, so I 'have' (wg mnie niepotr) decided that it would be an excellent 'occasion' (zle slowo, tutaj 'opportunity') to earn some extra money.
I am 'not inexperienced' (to mnie sie zle czyta, lepiej...I have some experience ) in bartending. 'Back' (niepotr) In 2017, when I finished high school in my home city, I 'was working' (simple - worked) as a bartender in the Sherlock Holmes Pub. The extent of my duties 'was including' (po jakiemu to jest? tutaj included) receiving orders, making drinks, operating a cash register and cleaning my workplace.
I like to talk to people and listen to them, which is very important in work such as 'that' (nie, tutaj 'this'). I am well-organized and I always try to fulfill my duties with all my heart (mozna 'consciously) and focus on the job.
(tutaj nowy paragraph) I look forward to hearing from you.
"I 'was working' (simple - worked) as a bartender" - to była czynność która trwała jakiś dłuższy czas, więc dlaczego past simple?
Przeczytaj sobie coś na ten temat np tu:
https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/beginner-grammar/past-continuous-and-past-simple
i zadecyduj który czas jest lepszy w tym zdaniu.
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.