Opowiadanie. Proszę o sprawdzenie

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It was sunny sunday morning. Some white clouds covered the sky. The light coming from the sun shone on golden sand. The straw umbrelas were lined the beach. Two mans, Bob and Mark were sitting on beach. They wanted to surfing. A sea was wavy. It was ideal weather for surfing. The people were taning at the beatch. They were happy, but anybody didn't swim in the blue sea.
Three days ago a big sharp appeared small boy, who's swam in the sea, grabbed him and killed his huge charp jaws. A dangerous animal names Lucky. The mans didn't know about this history. When they were going to the sea, Mark saw a sign on the life-saving tower. The words on this sign was follows - "No swiming - sharps". Bob and Mark flew into a rage. They have tunning on the golden sand for one hour. Suddenly they jumped to the sea and started surfing. A huge waves got broken on them boards. The life-guard whistled to them but they didn't react.
Mark saw a giant animal coming along to him. Sharp started to appear them. Mark started yelled. Bob screamed: "Mark, Jump onto my board and push yours towards the shark!". A life-boat ran after mans. Mark and Bob were paddling towards the beach. They arrived at a beach. Bob sighted with relief. They were safe. For one week they were spending time in hospital. For many days people were talking about this story. They never forgot about this day.
It was sunny sunday morning. SKY WAS COVERED BY FEW WHITE CLOUDS.
>The light coming OUT OF the sun WAS COMING DOWN on golden sand. The straw umbrelas
>were lined ON the beach. Two mEn, Bob and Mark were sitting on beach.
>They wanted to SURF. A sea was wavy. It was ideal weather for
>surfing. The people were GETTING TANNED ON the beatch. They were happy, but
>anybody WASNT SWIMMING in the blue sea.
> Three days ago a big sharp appeared small boy, who's BEEN SWIMMING in
>the sea, grabbed him and killed HIM WITH huge SHarp jaws. A dangerous
>animal'S NAME WAS Lucky. The mEn didn't know about this history. When they
>were HEADING TOWARDS sea, Mark saw a sign HANGIN on the LIFEGUARD'S tower. The
>words on this sign follows - "No swiming - sharps". Bob and Mark
>GOT INSANE. They WERE HANGING on the golden sand for one hour.
>Suddenly they jumped to the sea and start surfing. A huge waves WERE BREAKING on THEIR boards. The life-guard whistled ON them but they didn't
>react.
> Mark saw a giant animal coming DOWN to him. Sharp started to
>appear TO them. Mark started SCREAMING. Bob screamed: "Mark, Jump onto my
>board and push yours towards the shark!". A LIFEGUARD'S BOAT WAS LAUNCHED TO RESCUE THEM.
>Mark and Bob were paddling towards the beach. They HIT THE beach.
>Bob sighted with relief. They were safe. THEY SPENT ONE WEEK IN hospital. For many days people were talking about
>this story. They WILL never FORGET about this day.
It was sunny sunday morning. SKY WAS COVERED BY FEW WHITE CLOUDS.
>The light coming OUT OF the sun WAS COMING DOWN on golden sand. The straw umbrelas
>were lined ON the beach. Two mEn, Bob and Mark were sitting on beach.
>They wanted to SURF. A sea was wavy. It was ideal weather for
>surfing. The people were GETTING TANNED ON the beatch. They were happy, but
>anybody WASNT SWIMMING in the blue sea.
> Three days ago a big sharp appeared small boy, who's BEEN SWIMMING in
>the sea, grabbed him and killed HIM WITH huge SHarp jaws. A dangerous
>animal'S NAME WAS Lucky. The mEn didn't know about this history. When they
>were HEADING TOWARDS sea, Mark saw a sign HANGIN on the LIFEGUARD'S tower. The
>words on this sign follows - "No swiming - sharps". Bob and Mark
>GOT INSANE. They WERE HANGING on the golden sand for one hour.
>Suddenly they jumped to the sea and start surfing. A huge waves WERE BREAKING on THEIR boards. The life-guard whistled ON them but they didn't
>react.
> Mark saw a giant animal coming DOWN to him. Sharp started to
>appear TO them. Mark started SCREAMING. Bob screamed: "Mark, Jump onto my
>board and push yours towards the shark!". A LIFEGUARD'S BOAT WAS LAUNCHED TO RESCUE THEM.
>Mark and Bob were paddling towards the beach. They HIT THE beach.
>Bob sighted with relief. They were safe. THEY SPENT ONE WEEK IN hospital. For many days people were talking about
>this story. They WILL never FORGET about this day.
redneck! tam są jeszcze błędy - gramatyka, ortografia, słownictwo!
powodzenia, hejka!
Brakuje jeszcze kilku przedimków, a parę jest źle użytych. Niektóre przyimki też są źle użyte.

Ponadto:

but
>>anybody WASNT SWIMMING in the blue sea

lepiej: nobody was swimming...

>> Three days ago a big sharp appeared small boy, who's BEEN
>SWIMMING in

appeared tu nie pasuje

Bob and Mark
>>GOT INSANE.

insane też nie pasuje

>>They WERE HANGING on the golden sand for one hour.
Hanging? Czegoś tu brakuje, bo na pewno nie wisieli na piasku.

>>Suddenly they jumped to the sea and start surfing.
jumped INTO the sea and STARTED


>The life-guard whistled ON them
AT them, nie on them (jest jeszcze więcej problemów z przyimkami w tym tekście)

Sharp started to
>>appear TO them.

appear nie pasuje
dobra wiec:
-bob and mark have gone mad
-they were hanging - czyli spedzali czas na plazy
-The life-guard whistled ON them - upieram sie przy ON
-zamienmy jeszcze appear na approach
mozna:
Bob and Mark 'went mad'
'they were hanging' - ten zwrot nie jest tak uzywany - they were sunbathing...itp
The life-guard whistled AT them.
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