prośba o szybkie srawdzenie wypracowania

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Bardzo prosze o poprawienie błędów w mojej pracy z góry dziękuje

Nowadays in Poland more and more persons are retired. An orderly men have a problem to work until to achieving the retirement age. It has advantages and disadvantages .
Firstly, people who earlier retired can earlier start resting. They have more time for the family, they can longer spend time with grandsons and granddaughters and pamper it.
Furthermore they are having time for their hobbies or they can devote themselves to doing with small garden. Some can also travel and see the monuments.
On the other hand , a lot of persons on the early retirement it is a great load for the state which they cause debt of the country.
Many persons on the early retirement it is also a considerable decrease oneself of gross domestic product (GDP- PKB – product krajowy brutto). It can cause increasing the retirement age or reducing the pension. And in the future even early retirements are missing.
In conclusion the early retirements as everything have advantages and disadvantages . For one senior theearly retirement is a benefit but for the entire society it is a great problem particularly when in the country is depression demographic. ( niż demograficzny)
Nowadays in Poland more and more 'persons' (nie, lepiej people) are retired. 'An' (to jest l. poj a masz men l. mnoga- lepiej All) 'orderly' (nie, elderly) men 'have a problem' (nie rozumiem tego) to work until 'to' (niepot) achieving 'the' (bez the) retirement age.
'It' (nie rozumiem co?) has advantages and disadvantages .
Firstly, people who 'earlier retired' (zla kol. slow) can 'earlier start resting' (zla kol slow). They have more time for theIR family, they can 'longer spend time' (zla kol slow) with grandsons and granddaughters and pamper 'it' (nie, jak o ludziach to nie 'it', lepiej them).
Furthermore they 'are having' (have) time for their hobbies or they can devote
themselves to 'doing with small garden' (lepiej gardening). Some can also travel and see the 'monuments' (mozna tez the world).
On the other hand, a lot of 'persons' (people) 'on' 'the early retirement' (who have retired earlier) 'it is' (l. mnoga) a great 'load' (znajdz inne slowo) for the state 'which' (lepiej because) they cause debt of the country.
Many 'persons' (people) on 'the' (bez the) early retirement 'it is' (l. mnoga od people) also a considerable 'decrease oneself' (nie rozumiem tego) ON GDP. 'It' (nie rozumiem co? chyba mowisz o 'solution'?) can cause TO increasE the retirement age or TO reducE the pension. And in the future even early retirements are 'missing' (cos tu nie tak).
In conclusion the early retirements 'as everything' have advantages and
disadvantages . For one senior (person) the early retirement is a benefit but
for the entire society it is a great problem particularly when 'in the
country' (the country is under) 'depression demographic' (zla kol. slow)
bardzo dziekuje za sprawdzenie i troche wyjaśnie

moje wyjaśnienia:
Firstly, people who 'earlier retired' (zla kol. slow) can 'earlier start resting' (zla kol slow).
Firstly, people who retired earlier can start earlier resting . - teraz dobrze?
Many 'persons' (people) on 'the' (bez the) early retirement 'it is'
(l. mnoga od people) also a considerable 'decrease oneself' (nie
rozumiem tego) ON GDP.- w tym zdaniu chodzi mi oto, że: "Wiele osób na wczesnej emeryturze to też znaczne obniżenie się Produktu Krajowego Brutto."
And in the future even early retirements are 'missing'
(cos tu nie tak). tu mi chdzi że :"A w przyszłości nawet brak wcześniejszych emerytur."
Firstly, people who retired earlier can start 'earlier resting' (resting earlier)
Many people on early retirement are also a cause of considerable reduction of GDP.
And in the future there can also be a lack of money for early retirements. (w tym zdaniu po polsku brakuje cos ..nawet 'zabraknie' pieniedzy na wczesniejsze...)

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