Nowadays, youth (lepiej: YOUNG PEOPLE) begin their music or acting career (BEZ: more!) earlier than A few years ago. I think that this phenomenon has as many good as bad sides and I will try to show them (IN THIS ESSAY?).
It appears that young artists have no (DO NOT HAVE A) normal childhood because they must work all the time and their world go (Lepiej: REVOLVES) around (BEZ: the) work. (nie stawiamy przecinkow przed that, because i and) What is more, they can (lepiej: MIGHT) be sad because they do not have time to make friends. Their values are often faltering, because they do not know what is good and what is really important in live (LIFE). Furthermore, they are more susceptible to additions (ADDICTIONS). If they have problems (,) they more frequently reach for beverages (lepiej: SUBSTANCES) like drugs and alcohol. And (nie zaczynamy zdania od "and", lepiej: ALSO,/ MOREOVER,/ FURTHERMORE,/ IN ADDITION,) they can buy it (mowa byla o substancjach, wiec THEM) MORE EASILY because they have a lot of money.
On the other hand, working children learn responsibility. They grow up faster, they could be more resourceful and well off if they manage their career properly. Moreover, these children become financially independent and they can provide for all (lepiej: THE WHOLE) family. When their career developS properly, they achieve greater profits, and when these children have a lot of money (,) they can buy whatever they want, go where they want ant live in the way they want in luxury and comfort.
In conclusion, it seems that taking up A career by youth (YOUNG PEOPLE) have (HAS) as many disadvantages as positive aspects. The decision what it meanS to you (dlaczego you? Moze lepiej: THOSE CONCERNED) remains a matter of personal choice.