Dear Mrs (po tytulach Mr, Mrs, itp nie stawiamy kropki.) Gray{,}
I was interested in {moze lepiej: I SAW lub: I READ?}your advertisement In (in}{THE} 'New York Times and I want to be in {gramatycznie jest to poprawne, ale moze uprzejmiej brzmialoby: I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN} yours {YOUR} organization.
Firstly, Could {could} you please inform me how much the membership costS{?} I would be grateful if you could tell me {brakuje "czy" - IF lub WHETHER} I must pay monthly or yearly.
Furthermore, I would like to know can I chose {szyk twierdzacy: IF I CAN CHOOSE - pis.} which animal will be mine {MY} pupil {PET??}. I always want to {tu az sie prosi present perfect: I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO} have mine {MY - chyba powinienes powtorzyc zaimki} own animal. I need to know whether I {CAN}give the {lepiej: A} name {TO} my animal.
Finally, Could {could} you possibly inform me what I must to do {po "must" nie uzywamy bezokolicznika "to do"} when I will be {niegram. po when lepiej czas terazniejszy, zamiast "be" moze lepiej: BECOME - kiedy zostane}{A} volunteer. I would like to ask [where are the parks - znowu masz szyk pytajacy, powinien byc twierdzacy - WHERE THE PARKS ARE].
Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible{.}
YourS sincerely,
Zaimki: It's MY animal. It's MINE.
It's YOUR organisation. It's YOURS.