bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie eseju

Thousands of students go to schools because they will want good education and good job. Mnay people take much information and knowledge in the school but do schools prepare young people for life in the real world?
On the one hand they learn foreign language and they will can travel to other country. People use maths for example: in the shop and when they count time to next meeting. Also school gives skills serve computer. Students can work in groups. In spite of the rules and punishment system are usually strict, itteaches them discipline and cultural behaviour. People think logical and have new ideas. They don't have problems in difficult sytuations.
On the other hand schools don't learn cook or protect baby. Although they study how write letter or essay but in XXI century people send e-mails and take informations in Internet and this skills don't need them. Students don't use history, art or music in the real world; in the job. Difficult pattern in phisics don't be important.
To sum up, schools prepare young people for life in the real world partly. Some of subjects are important in future life but some are loss time.

Thousands of students go to schools because they 'will' (mysle, ze to niepotr) want A good education and (tutaj mozesz dodac 'ultimately') A good job. MANY people 'take much' (cos tego nie lubie?-) information and knowledge in the school, (przecinek przed but) but do schools prepare young people for life
in the real world?
On the one hand 'they' (kto?) learn foreign language (tylko jeden? wtedy trzeba 'a', a jak wiecej to foreign languageS) and they 'will can' (obydwa wyrazy sa modalami - nie uzywamy ich tak - albo jeden albo drugi - lepiej CAN) travel to other countrIES (l. mn). People use maths for example: in the shop and when they count time to THE/A next meeting.
'Also school gives skills serve computer' (tego zdania nie za bardzo rozumiem).
Students can work in groups. In spite of the rules and THE punishment systemS WHICH are usually strict, it teaches them discipline and cultural behaviour. People think logicalLY and have new ideas. They don't have problems in difficult sItuations.
On the other hand schools don't 'learn' (nie, nie - o tym juz pisalam, teachers/school teachers - students learn - tutaj TEACH) STUDENTS HOW TO cook or TO LOOK AFTER OR protect A baby. Although 'they' (tutaj nie wiem czy mowisz o szkolew, czy o studentach) study how TO write A letter or AN essay, but in XXI century people send e-mails and take 'informations' INFORMATION (niepolicz). 'in' FROM THE Internet and 'this' (this generalnie odnosi sie do l.poj - a skills to l.mn - tutaj THESE) skills THEY don't need. 'them' (niepotr). Students don't use history, art or music in the real world; in
theIR job. Difficult pattern in 'phisics' PHYSICS 'don't' ARE NOT 'be' (niepotr) important.
To sum up, schools (tutaj lepiej ONLY PARTLY) prepare young people for life in the real world. 'partly' (niepotr). Some of THE subjects are important in A future life, (przecinek przed 'but') but some are 'loss time' (lepiej A WASTE OF TIME).