sprawdzenie opowiadania

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Witam, mam prośbę, czy ktoś mógłby mi sprawdzić moje opowiadanie? Jest to zadania z matury rozszerzonej na temat: Napisz opowiadanie zaczynające się od słów: I was alone in the house reading...
Oto ono:

I was alone in the house reading book borrowed from the library and being glad that nobody’s home. The only thing I could hear was the silence and that made me extremely happy – I didn’t have to listen to my brother’s shrieks and my parents’ talk because they had gone to visit our aunt who lives at the other edge of Poland.
I’d been reading for a long time so I looked at the window in order to let my eyes rest. It was dark behind the window and the rain was pouring. I could only see the Moon which was hanging amazingly low that night. When I was admiring its pale shape I suddenly heard a quite knocking to the window. I thought it had been the wind but then I saw Her. She was standing by the window, wet and pale – an old woman smiling at me and waving her hand. I was about to die from heart attack. I was sure that it was the Death who came to take me – but why so early? And then I realized that the woman standing at the rain was my grandmother. I let her come in and couldn’t say any word.
-I brought you some dumplings for the supper – she said with joy.
-But why didn’t you just use the door-bell?
-Oh dear, I’m sorry! I just don’t like its sound – it’s so shrill!
I advise you – never look at the dark window.

Dziękuję z góry :)
at the rain

in the rain :)
I was alone in the house reading A book borrowed from the library and being glad that nobody ELSE WAS AT home. The only thing I could hear was XXX silence

I could only see the Moon COMMA which was hanging amazingly low that night. When I was admiring its pale shape I suddenly heard a quiET KNOCK AT the window.
I was about to die from A heart attack.

And then I realized that the woman standing IN the rain was my grandmother. I let her XXX in and couldn't say A word.

I advise you - never look at A dark window.
at the other edge of Poland nie wydaje mi się poprawne, proponuje on the other side

BTW, w kulturze angielskiej śmierć jest rodzaju męskiego i nazywa się the Grim Reaper
>at the other edge of Poland nie wydaje mi się poprawne, proponuje on the other side

Jasne, jakoś nie miałem pomysłu, czym to zastapic.


>BTW, w kulturze angielskiej śmierć jest rodzaju męskiego i nazywa się the Grim Reaper

Zgadza się.
Dziękuję wszystkim za poprawę :):)
Temat przeniesiony do archwium.

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