narrative essay, proszę o spr!:)

S: My first day of snow.

My first day of snow which I can remember was ten years ago when I was about five. In this time I lived near to little mountain so it was the best place to enjoy all aspects of snow. When I woke up snow was still falling, effected that everything was white! All roads, tries, cars and roofs. World behind the window looked like a fairytale.
I and my brother could not wait until our dad would be back from work, because we wanted to go and ride a sled. For killing some time we made a marvelous snowman higher than me, with nose made of carrot, hands of branches and taches of little stones. He’d been standing in front of our house for next two weeks.
When father finally came home we went on our mountain, which today seems to be rather little hill. But when I was younger, for me it came across like nearly Mount Blanc. So we climbed on the top and we could not believed our eyes. My tailor-made top was so crowded that I could suppose there were almost all children from nearby houses. Because of this fact, we were able to slate from hill only few times, but I remember despite all obstacles it was great adventure.
My first meeting with snow was a wonderful experience and thanks to this I love winter time. I can only be filled with despair now because of fact, that I have never seen so much snow in Wroclaw since that time. But I will never forget this beautiful view.


dodam iż jest to narrative essay(mam więc nadzieję, że struktura jest dobra) i oceńcie czy widać w każdym paragrafie "topic sentence". dziękuję!:)

A co sie stalo z uzywaniem 'the' i 'a' - bez tego zdania sa niegram...

'In this' AT THAT time I lived near to A little mountain so it was
the best place to enjoy all aspects of snow. When I woke up THE snow was
still falling, (tu cos brakuje) effected that everything was white! All roads, 'tries' (TREES?)cars and roofs. THE world behind the window looked like a fairytale SCENE.
'I and my brother' (my brother and I) could not wait until our dad would be back from work,because we wanted to go and ride a 'sled' (ortog). 'For killing' (napisz to inaczej...In order to kill) some time we made a marvelous snowman 'higher' TALLER than me, with A nose made of carrot, hands MADE of branches and 'taches' (tego slowa nie rozumiem) of little stones. 'He'd' (napisz to w calosci) been standing in front of our house for next two weeks.
When father finally 'came home' (moze lepiej 'arrived') we went on our mountain, which today seems to be rather A little hill. But when I was younger, for me it came across NEARLY like Mount Blanc. So we climbed on the top and we could not 'believed' BELIEVE our eyes. My 'tailor-made top' (tego nie za bardzo rozumiem) was so crowded that I could suppose there were almost all OF THE children from THE nearby houses. Because of this fact, we were able to 'slate' (zle slowo)from THE hill only A few times, but I remember THAT despite all THE obstacles it was A great adventure.
My first meeting with snow was a wonderful experience and thanks to this I love THE winter time. I can only be filled with despair now because
of THE fact, that I have never seen so much snow in Wroclaw since that
time.