Proszę o sprawdzenie opowiadania

Proszę o poprawienie błędów w moim opowiadaniu.

Helpful inability

It happened on the day of begining vacation. Joe woke up at noon. He was surprised that he was on the jungle. The last thing he remembered was his son's christening party.His mind was incapable to thinking, but Jeo knew that he had to return to home as soon as possible.
Firstly, he looked around surroundings. It didn't seems good. He told himself that he had been in rainforest. It was surprising, because he participated in the party yesterday. What is more that was on another continent.
He decided to climb on the highest tree and found a sings of human's civilisation. Joe shouted - "yeah!" , when he preceived a smog from bonfire. Losing no time, he traveled to the spot of fire. It was difficult , because his flip-flops didn't appropriate to walking on the jungle.
He was scared by scene of indian tribe was dancing around a cauldron with human corpses. Joe recalled a documentary movie about cannibal. He never believed that he met some of them. Unfortunately to Joe, one of the indian noticed a person in the bushes.Indians quickly caught their victim. The leader of the tribe commanded the indian to close him in a wooden cage. Joe was woeful. After many hours spent in a trap he had idea. Joe started feigned a mad. He shouted, danced techno and did sommersault. All members of the tribe looked at him with terror. After a moment they opened a cage and drove away him. He felt relieved when he was free. After few minutes, he reached to small village and called to embassy for help.
Nowadays, Joe tells the story to his friends. They always laughing at him and say , that he is a very bad dancer.


Dziękuję z góry za ewentualną pomoc =]

It happened on the FIRST day of THE vacation. Joe woke up at noon. He was surprised TO FIND that he was In the jungle. The last thing he remembered was his son's christening party.HE was incapable OF thinking CLEARLY, but Joe knew that he had to return home as soon as possible.
First, he looked around HIS surroundings. It didn't seem good. He told himself that he [had been..zly czas] in A rainforest. It was surprising, because he participated in the party yesterday. What is?? (w jakim czasu piszesz) EVEN more (co? surprising? perplexing? confusing? strange?), WAS that HE was on A TOTALLY DIFFERENT continent.
He decided to climb A TALL tree and found signs of human appropriate FOR walking In the jungle.
He was scared by THE scene of AN indian tribe dancing around a cauldron with human corpses. Joe recalled a documentary movie about cannibalS. He never believed that he some of them. Unfortunately FOR Joe, one of the indianS noticed HIM in the bushes.THE indians quickly caught their victim. The leader of the tribe commanded the indianS to close (zle slowo) him in a wooden cage. Joe was woeful (wymsyl lepsze slowo). After many hours spent in THE trap (czy cage?) he had AN idea. Joe started [feigned a mad...popracuj dalej]. He shouted, danced techno and did sommersaultS (orto). All members of the tribe looked at him with terror. After a WHILE, they opened THE cage and (drove away him..kol slow0. He felt relieved when he was free. After few minutes, he reached A small village and called THE (jaka?) embassy for help.
Nowadays, Joe tells the story to his friends. They always laugh at him and say that he is (obviously) a very bad dancer.

THE vacation?

author seems to be narrating in "third person"

I used "the vacation" as it seemed the most neutral. In hindsight, I would probably suggest the use of "Joe's vacation".

dziękuję wszystkim za pomoc. Dodatkowo przekształciłem kilka zdań na reported speech i jakieś conditionale =]