formal letter - pomocy...

Mam małą prośbe...czy ktoś może mi sprawdzić zadanko z anglika? wiem ze to straszne, ale musze je wysłać nauczycielce do końca dnia bo jak nie to ... :/ pisałem je dosłownie 20 minut i boje sie że jest tam kupe błędów, a zależy mi na jakiejś pozytywnej ocence... jeszcze raz sorry za fatyge, jeśli komuś sie chce ----> błagam o pomoc....:(

I am writing to express my concern regarding the new supermarket which is going to be built in our city. In my letter I want to convince the Government and our society to oppose this project. The first reason are children.
For the past ten years, the area has been full of children, spending their free time there, playing in the playground – having the precious moments of their childhood. What if the supermarket finally would be built? Cars, pollution and noise will implicate danger to them. They are to young to defend themselves from the thieves, strangers and homeless people. Accidents, constant worry, stress. Our children will have to endure running the gauntlet of overcrowded car parking areas instead of spending time on games. Why do we want to take all the things which are so important to them? There is no other place for spending their spare time in the area of three kilometers. But the supermarket can be open in any other place.
It is not only reason to oppose the building. It will be located in the cities last “green place”. Many of old trees will be felled, many of animals killed. We cannot just destroy their natural habitat and face them extinction, they have a right to be here.
Supermarket is also dangerous for small shops, selling their products for a little higher prices. They would be destroyed in a cut-throat competition. Can we afford a massive wave of unemployment and connected with it social problems?
The only way to solve the problem is not to build the supermarket or build it in the outskirts of the city. It will be better to our children, nature and in the end – our city, which is not big and one of the main source of income is tourism. We should take care of our park and children, make the city safer and more attractive to people from all over the world.

jak ktoś ma jakieś propozycje to jestem naprawde otwarty;] można zmieniać i dodawać wszystko....z góry thx!!

.. which is +about to be+ built ..

My wish is to convince our society and the Government with this letter to take action and stop the project.

.. are +the+ children.

.. *enjoying* the precious ..

What +will happen+ if eventually the supermarket _is_ built?

Dalej jest fragment przerazajacy merytorycznie, ale skoro pisales 20 min, to i ja daruje sobie prostowanie tego. Ad linguam:

.. defend .. against ..

Our children will be forced to stand the harrowing buzz and menace of the overcowded..

.. to take *away* all the things..

.. place *for them to spend* their spare time +within the distance of*..

*opened*

.. *the* only reason to +turn against+ *thins location*.

The dedicated site is actually the last large green spot of the town.

During the construction work many old trees would be cut downand many animals killed.

.. habitat and *force them out* ..

.. shops, *which sell* .. *at* +prices that are a little higher+.

.. destroyed in *the* +uneven+ competition ..

.. and social +issues+ connected with it?

+This+ would be better .. and *whose* one of the main *sources* ..

.. a na przyszlosc:

1. poswiec zadaniu wiecej czasu

2. miej lepsza koncepcje -- to o dzieciach i opozycji: plac zabaw kontra superm. to byla straszna sciema, IMHO

3. troche oryginalnosci w doborze arg. i ogolnym podejsciu, bo lecisz klisza, jak fabryka Kodaka ;) Sorry.

4. Nie wpadaj w taka afektacje: lubisz zbytnio styl podniosly

5. pilnuj znaczenia slow i wyrazen: run the gauntlet nie dosc, ze nie pasowalo do dzieci stylistycznie, to w ogole ma inne znaczenie

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=97545&dict=CALD

6. rob pierwsza korekte sam: jezykowo jestes juz calkiem sprawny, a bylo troche potkniec (niektore na poz. podst.); merytoryka zas nie jest porywajaca -- kompozycji tez brakuje sporo: poczatek slabo charakteryzuje tekst, koniec tez rozmyty

.. *the* only reason to +turn against+ *this location*.

During the construction work many old trees would be cut down and many animals killed.

.. *eliminated* in *the* +uneven+ competition ..

.. are +the+ children.

IS the children

Hmm... koniecznie? :)

wypadaloby;] zwlaszcza w formal letter

chociaz to powinna byc hard and fast rule, nawet w rock and rollu jest subject-verb agreement;P ("tralala and the reason is you blabla...") Nikt nie powie The reason are you. Tak mi sie wydaje.

jesteście boscy:D naprawde sorry, ale w zyciu nie pisałem nic tak szybko... :/ JESZCZE RAZ WIEELKIE THX!!!

Na krotko, bo nie mam podstaw teoretycznych i sam przez to zaledwie co przebrnalem (i to z pominieciem najtrudniejszego wywodu) -- rzuc okiem na to:

http://www.arts.gla.ac.uk/SESLL/STELLA/COMET/glasgrev/issue4/jamal.htm

O ile dobrze (acz powierzchownie) rozumiem wywod, wynika z niego, ze moje zdanie bylo poprawne i ze jest inwertowana -- ze wzgledow stylistyczno-komunikacyjnych (szablon ukladu zdania tworzacy przekaz latwo rozpoznawalnym i czytelniejszym) -- wersja zdania: "The children are the first reason.", gdzie "swiete przymierze" (subject-verb concord) juz nie jest naruszane :)

Ogolnie, z tekstu wynika, ze problem ten juz byl obiektem badan kilku lingwistow... bo, widac, czesc populacji mowi/pisze tak, jak ja ;)

Na ew. dalsza dyskusje nie jestem jeszcze przygotowany ;) -- nie wiem, czy w ogole kiedys bede, ale moze starczy mi zapalu i choc troche sie doucze.

Twoj przyklad "The reason are you." bylby adekwatny, gdyby chodzilo o you mnogie. Dla sing. you sprawa jest w miare prosta: nie ma konfliktu liczby miedzy podm. a dopelnieniem -- zas "are" jest kwestia konwencji, ktora nie musi pociagac za soba konsekwencjii gramatycznych. Ale w swietle tego artykulu calkiem poprawna wydaje sie wypowiedz: "The reason are you; you -- greedy, selfish people."

Ale to tak na szybko. Moze cos zle przyswoilem. Jeszcze zagladne do tego artykulu i w ogole sie rozejrze. Moze tez ktos sie wlaczy do dyskusji.

Dzieki, ze sie nie obraziles! Ja sie lubie powymadrzac ;) Ale z uwag sie nie wycofuje! :DD Ciesze sie, ze zdazylem, bo nawet przez chwile wahalem sie, czy zaczynac!

wiele osob tak mowi, dlatego napisalem, ze wypada, chociaz wlasciwie wszystkie sprawy, ktore sa przedmiotem sporob/badan lingwistow daja alternatywe dla "the man in the street" i nie ma chyba po co sie o to klocic bo kazdy moze powolac sie na kogos madrzejszego i starszego :]. (w kazdym razie, powiniem bylem darowac sobie). Bardzo ciekawy artykul, dzieki. Btw, ja "obralem" (dosc wygodnie z reszta) tok rozumowania p. "Janskiego" (z ktorym klocic sie nie zamierzam), ktory to kiedys przy omawianiu podobnego problemu mawial:
"What matters (not: What matter) is we read, write, and speak from left to right, not the other way around."
"Thou shalt ALWAYS have a subject agree with its verb."
If you accept this axiom, your life is easier; if you don't, you are asking for trouble."

Mozesz tez (co wiem rowniez z tego artykulu: jestem, jak widac, bardzo oczytany ;)) powolywac sie prescriptive rule znanego (nawet ja o nim juz bylem slyszalem) autorytetu -- Fowlera: 'the verb follows the number of the subject, whatever that of the complement may be.’

Dla mnie, jak juz wspomnialem, tez wygodnie bedzie porzucic w tym momencie dalsza dyskusje :). Bardzo Ci dziekuje, ze nie darowales sobie i tym samym zmusiles mnie do pewnego wysilku (troche sie nagrzebalem, BTW, ale to wciaz ze wzgledu na nierozwiniete dobrze metody guglowania ;).

Pozdrawiam.

Oczywiscie, mialo byc:

powolywac sie *na*

i

Pozdrawiam *!*

:DD

My suggestion:

I am writing to express my concern regarding the new supermarket which is going to be built in our city. I would like to ask that the Government and our community oppose this project. The first reason are our children.
For the past ten years, the area has been full of children, spending their free time there, playing in the playground - enjoying some of the most precious moments of their childhood. If the supermarket were to be built, cars, pollution and noise would pose danger to them. They are too young to defend themselves from the thieves, strangers and homeless people that this project may attract. There may be accidents, constant worry and stress. Our children will have to endure running the gauntlet of overcrowded car parking areas instead of spending time playing games. Why would we want to take away all the things which are so important to them? There is no other playground within three kilometers, but the supermarket could easily be located a little further away.
This are more reasons to oppose the construction. The building will be located in the city's last green space. Many of the old trees will be felled and the habitat of all the birds and animals there destroyed. We cannot just destroy it and allow them to face extinction, they have a right to be there.
The supermarket will also have a negative impact on small local merchants who will not be able to compete with the supermarket pricing. They will be destroyed by the cut-throat competition. Can we afford the massive wave of unemployment and associated social problems?
The only way to solve this problem is not to build the supermarket, or to build it on the outskirts of the city. It will be better for our children, nature and in the end - our city, which is not big; note that one of our main sources of income is tourism. We should take care of our park, our children, and make the city safer and more attractive to people from all over the world.

pozdro!