sprawdzi mi ktoś krótki tekst? bardzo prosze..

Grażyna Plebanek's "Girls from Portofino" is a story about four young women. We knew them, when they are seventh, and they were starting their learning in the first class of school. Their names are: Beata, Mania, Hania and Agnieszka. They live in one city, in the same housing estate. They are ordinary children, but all girl of them is different. Mania is the poorest girl. Her parents drink lots of alcohol, and her older brother stays in the prison for teenagers. Mania often tells to God, and she pleases Him to her brother can leave the prison. Some day Mania's mother did a big surprise to her daughter - she bought her a communion-dress. Girl was very happy, becouse the First Communion was her dream. There are lots of characters in book, often Krzysia pears there. Krzysia is older than our four girls, and her parents are rich. Krzysia goes to sport school, takes a piano lessons and loves balet. She goes every where with her nurse. Krzysia's nurse is very tutelary, girl doesn't like this. Sometimes she escapes and runs to her younger friends, and they have good time. Some day Krzysia said:
-Can you do sth for me?
-Yes, sher -girls anserwed
Krzysia told them about some heap behind houses, she wanted to girls go there. She couldn't go with them, becouse her nurse won't allow her to go there. Friends agreed to it...

I finished my reading in this moment, so I don't know, what was later. Now I'm starting to read next part of this interesting book!





Jeśli ktoś ma czas i chęci, to prosze sprawdzić i wypisać błędy (których będzie z pewnością dużo ;p) Z góry wielkie dzięki ;*

Your text is interesting though I'm not going to read the book ;)

(...) We get to know them as they are seven years old and they start to learn in the first class of primary school. (...) They are ordinary children, but each of them is different. (or each girl is different) (...) Mania often speaks to God and she ask Him to let her brother leave the prison. (...) Girl was very happy because (...) takes piano lessons and loves ballet (...) She goes everywhere (...) tutelary??? (...) the girl doesn't like this. (...) they have a good time. (...) girls answered (...) because her nurse wouldn't allow her to go there. (...) I finished reading at this moment so I don't know what was later. (...) I'm starting to read the next part of this interesting book!

ps. I think you overuse commas.

Pod koniec przechodzisz na czas przeszły. Wydaje mi się, że ze względu na spójność tekstu lepiej zostać przy teraźniajszym.
Kilka drobiazgów w tym fragmencie:

"Some day Krzysia says:
-Can you do sth for me?
-Yes, sher (?) - the girls answer
Krzysia tells them about some heap behind the houses, she wants them//the girls to go there. She can't go with them, becAUSE her nurse won't allow her to do so. The friends agree to it...

I have finished my reading at this moment, so I don't know, what is later//happens next. Now I'm starting to read the next part of this interesting book!"
-----
Taaaaak, wyjątkowo interesująca... ;) Ale rezenzja faktycznie ciekawa.

>-Yes, sher (?) - the girls answer

chyba mialo być -> 'Yes, sure' ???

Some day Mania's mother did a big surprise to her daughter
>- she bought her a communion-dress. Girl was very happy, becouse the
>First Communion was her dream.

Some / one day Mania's mother SURPRISED her daughter BY BUYING HER a communion dress. .
THE girl was very happy AS the First ...


There are lots of characters in THE book,
>often Krzysia pears there. - tego nie rozumiem???

the prison for teenagers to juvenile prison

prays to God and asks Him for her brother's release (from prison)
"pleases him" znaczy "sprawia mu przyjemnosc"

lots of alcohol
"lots of" nic do zdania nie wnosi, tylko zajmuje miejsce. Mozesz napisac "her parents are alcoholics".

stays in juvenile prison - is currently serving time in juvenile prison

one day Mania's mother had a big surprise for her daughter
po angielsku nie mozna "zrobic niespodzianki" tylko "miec niespodzianke"

there are many characters, nie lots of.
Characters to rzeczownik policzalny.

"Krzysia pears there"
Krzysia what? appears?
Krzysia makes a frequent appearance; Krzysia appears frequently.

goest to sports school, nie sport school
takes piano lessons, nie a piano lessons

Pewnego dnia to u ciebie "one day", nie "some day"

jaki "heap" za domem? moze "hill"?

>Krzysia's nurse is very tutelary, girl doesn't like this.

tutelary? masz chyba na mysli "protective" albo lepiej "over-protective".
tutelary odnosi sie do dobrych duszkow, bogow, itp.

Krzysia's nurse is over-protective and the girl doesn't like it at all.
Potrzebujesz w tym zdaniu albo "and" albo srednik (;). Przecinek nie wystarczy, bo nie ma tu zdania podrzednego.

>We knew them, when they are seventh, and they were starting
>their learning in the first class of school.
Po co te przecinki?

We first meet them when they are seven years old and starting their first grade.

dzięki za pomoc, widze że jeszcze czeka mnie dużo nauki angielskiego ;p