Opinion essay

Proszę o sprawdzenie błędów i opinię. Z góry dziękuję. :)
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Today holiday jobs are a very popular method of earn some money amongs the young people. In my point of view, that is a good possibility to gain some expirience and meet new people. In the next paragraphs I will confirm my opinion.

First of all, it is earn money. Every teenager has his needs. He wants to go to the cinema, buys new clothes or goes with friends to the pizza. It is a great to have one's money and make life pleasant. It is harder to spend one's money than the ones received from parents, so teenagers learn economy.
Another reason is learn about life. Holiday job is a school of life. We learn the value of money and how is sometimes hard to earn it. We are acquiring experience which could be useful at the future work. We learn independence for istance if we work in another city, we must take care about overselves .
On the other hand holiday job take holidays. The time which is supposed to be a rest from the school is becoming working hours. We should then rest for expamle : sunbathing, reading book or watching tv. To the work time will go.
Taking everything into account holiday jobs are a good idea, but we must remember that, holidays are the time of rest and relax.

Today holiday jobs are a very popular method of 'earn' (zle slowo) some money 'amongs' (ortog) the young people. In my point of view, 'that' (niepotr) THIS is a good possibility to gain some 'expirience' (ortog) and (brak cos) meet new people. In the next paragraphs I will 'confirm' (nie, tak nie mowimy, mozemy 'expand', mozemy 'illustrate' ale nie 'confirm') my opinion.

First of all, it is 'earn' (cos tu jest zle) money.
He wants to go to the cinema, 'buys' (BUY - bo to odnosi sie do 'teenager') new clothes or 'goes' (popraw) with friends 'to the' FOR A pizza. It is 'a' (niepotr) great to have one's money and make life pleasant. It is harder to spend 'one's money' MONEY THAT ONE HAS EARNED than the ones received from parents, so teenagers MUST learn 'economy' (cos tu nie tak).
Another reason is (brak cos) learn about life. (przedimek) holiday job is a school of life. We learn the value of money and how IT is sometimes hard to earn it. We are acquiring experience which could be useful 'at' FOR' the' (niepotr) future work. We learn independence for 'istance' (ortog) if we work in another city, we must take care 'about' OF 'overselves' (ortog) .
On the other hand holiday job 'take holidays.' (tego nie rozumiem) The time which is supposed to be a rest from the school is 'becoming' (zle slowo) 'working hours' (cos tu ne tak). We should then rest for 'expamle' (ortog) : sunbathing, reading (przedimek) book or watching tv. 'To the work time will go' (tego to calkowicie nie rozumiem).
Taking everything into account holiday jobs are a good idea, but we must remember that, holidays are the time of rest and relaxATION.