pomoc jezykowa

Witajcie

Na początku wakacji jadę na praktyki zagraniczne, dlatego potrzebuję Waszej pomocy przy korekcie listu motywacyjnego. Będę bardzo wdzięczny.

Dear Human Resource Director,

I am pleased to present my resume for a position as a XYZ. In review of the attached document you will find that I am highly capable of performing this role and associated functions.

I am V year student of economy at University of Economics in Poznan (specialization -Market Analysis) and graduate of Study Centre (specialization – German business language). Nowadays I am in the process of doing my MA thesis entitled “Fundamental and technical analysis on the polish capital market in years 2010 – 2011”. My current experience is related to a finance and sales branch. As a student I have put my knowledge and into practice by the activity in Student’s Business Centre Club Organization (Fundraising department), being a participant of a “Triumph of entrepreneurship” conference. During years 2[tel]I was an active investor on Warsaw Stock Exchange and Newconnect. At present I am a member of In Association of Individual Investors, where I have been an Intern as Chief’s editor assistant. For one year I had an opportunity to develop my sales skills as a telemarketer in Call Center, Telephone interviewer and Wellness Advisor (I have built an sales team of several people). My last experience in Structure Data & Region Support department in Credit Suisse was related with data processing and customer service in foreign language.

I believe my combination of sales and finance experience is an excellent match for the XYZ position you described. Attached is a copy of my resume with additional information about my skills and qualifications. I look forward to your response.
Sincerely
….

Dear Human Resource Director (lepiej Sir/Madam),

I am pleased to present my resume for a position as a XYZ [for your review]. In review of the attached document You will find that I am highly capable of performing this role and associated functions.

I am [brak przedimka] V [co to ma znaczyc?] year student of economy [zle slowo] at [brak przedimka] University of Economics in Poznan (specialization -Market Analysis) and [brak przedimka]graduate of Study Centre (specialization – German business language). Nowadays [too colloquial; nie passuje] I am in the process of doing my MA thesis entitled “Fundamental and technical analysis on [ja bym tu napisala "of"] the polish [pisze sie z duza litera] capital market in [brak przedimka]years 2010 – 2011”. My current experience (jakie? work? volunteer?] is related to a finance and sales branch. As a student, I have put my knowledge and into practice by activity [/s actively participating in [brak przedimka]Student’s Business Centre Club Organization (Fundraising department), and being a participant of a in the “Triumph of entrepreneurship” conference. During [brak przedimka] years 2[tel]I was an active investor on [brak przedimka]Warsaw Stock Exchange and Newconnect. At present, I am a member of In[chyba "the"] Association of Individual Investors, where I have [been, lepiej "worked as"] an Intern as [brak przedimka] Chief’s editor assistant. For one year, I had an opportunity to develop my sales skills as a telemarketer in [bp...chyba rozumiesz skrot] Call Center, as [bp]Telephone interviewer and Wellness Advisor (I have built an sales team of several people). My last? [czy most recent? experience in [bp] Structure Data & Region Support department at Credit Suisse was related TO with data processing and PROVIDING customer service in foreign languages (list them) .

I believe my combination of sales and finance experience is an excellent match for the XYZ position [you described...nie potrzebne]. Attached is a copy of my resume [for your perusal (if you want to get "fancy")] with additional information about my skills and qualifications. I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
….

I am very grateful to you:)