Praca a hobby

Proszę o rzucenie okiem ;)
In the field of work, there have been dramatic changes in habits and work style. People want to connect job with their hobbies and they follow their dreams. However, it does a certain drawbacks that people tend to forget about.
Firstly, it is crucial for modern societies to be fulfilled and self-actualized. It takes place only when you are doing what you love. Having a job is said to be very essensial and profitable and give you a lot enjoyment. But how you can be cheerful if you don't feel like doing it.
Doing what you like may leads to self- improvement and expanding your abilities whcih may seems to be very useful.

Za wszelkie wskazówki będę grateful :)

People want to connect (tutaj cos brakuje, np. 'their') job with their hobbies and they follow their dreams. However, 'it does a certain drawbacks' (cos tutaj nie tak, i do tego musi byc w l. mn) that people tend to forget about.
Firstly, it is crucial for 'modern societies to be fulfilled' (nie, 'ludzie' moga byc fulfilled, ludzie ktorzy zyja w modern society) and self-'actualized' (co to dokladnie znaczy?). 'It' THIS takes place only when you are doing what you love. Having a job is said to be very 'essensial' (blad ortog) and profitable and 'give' (zla osoba) you a lot (brak slowa) enjoyment. But how 'you can' (to ma byc pytanbie, musi byc zformulowane jako pytanie) be cheerful if you don't feel like doing it.
Doing what you like may 'leads' (dlaczego fdales tutaj 3os.l.poj?) to self- improvement and expanding your abilities 'whcih' (ortog) may 'seems' (dlaczego 3os.l.poj?) to be very useful.

A ludzie ktorzy nie pracuja - czy oni nie moga byc 'fulfilled'?

to ma być rozprawka i nie wiem jakie dać kontrargumenty, masz jakieś pomysły ?

Czyli powinno być tak?
Firstly, it is crucial for people to be fulfilled. But how can you be cheerful if you don't feel like doing it. Doing what you like may lead to self- improvement and expanding your abilities which may seem to be very useful.