Czy mógłby mi ktoś sprawdzić maila?

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Proszę o pomoc, mam napisać mail ma angielski, o osobie, którą nie dawno poznałam. Czy byłby ktoś tak miły i mi sprawdził czy dobrze napisałam? :)


Hi Sylwia,
I'm writing to you, because yesterday I met Jane’s brother, his name is Brian.
Brian is older than me and Jane, but very kind of us. When we were doing a drawing for lessons in their house, he brought delicious cookies. He’s got a beautiful smile, his hair’s curly. He’s medium height and slim. Brian’s very handsome! He’s interested in football, his favorite football team is FC Barcelona. I’m happy, because I love watching and playing football match too!
I’d like invite to you to new café in our town on Friday afternoon.
Best,
XYZ
edytowany przez ihlet: 14 paź 2012
bez przecinka przed because
and very kind[kropka]
He is of medium height