bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie :(

Nowadays computer seems to be a symbol of 21st century. Although there are lots of different way of spending leisure the vast majority of young people choose computer games. There are many draw backs which are associate with this phenomenon and also some advantages.
First of all, majority computer games have a destructive influence on young people. They can become addicted to it and their behaviour can change completely. Hence day without computer is something unthinkable for them. They don’t have enough time to daily activities and they neglect their school duties. The main aim for them is only win the game or pass the next level.
Secondly the parent lose control under their children. They don’t aware that computer games can pose a threat. They relies about side effect only then their child become more nervous and irritated. They spent a large amount of time in front of screen and their eyesight spoil.
On the other hand a computer game can be a better way of spending free time than wande aimlessly on the city. The parent don’t worry about their children because they are safe at home. Some young people don’t have idea what to do to make their day more interesting. They start boring and try drink alcohol and smoke a cigarettes. In that case the computer game no wonder are more useful.
Moreover Pursue one’s own interesting is very important. a computer game can become a hobbies for some young people. During play game they can acquire some skills. They can learn another language or learn how to use a computer.
To sum up although computer games are a save-eater deriving satisfaction from this kind of hobbies. It is one of the most popular way of spending spare time. Nevertheless we should remember about a serious consequences which it computer games can lead.

Nowadays {the} computer seems to be a symbol of 21st century. {However,} there are lots of different {ways} of spending leisure {time}; the vast majority of young people choose computer games. There are many {drawbacks} which are {associated} with this phenomenon and also some advantages. First of all, {most of} computer games have a destructive influence on young people. They can become addicted to it (=computer)/them (=games) and their behaviour can change completely. Hence {a} day without computer is something unthinkable for them. They don't have enough time to daily activities and they neglect their school duties. The main aim for them is only {to} win the game or pass the next level.
Secondly, the parent {loses} control {of} their children. They {aren't} aware that computer games can pose a threat. They {realise} {the} side effect only {when} their child {becomes} more nervous and irritated. They {spend} a large amount of time in front of {the} screen and their eyesight {spoils}.
On the other hand, a computer game can be a better way of spending free time than {wandering} aimlessly {in town}. The parent {doesn't} worry about their children because they are safe at home. Some young people don't have {an} idea what to do to make their day more interesting. They start {getting bored} and try {drinking} alcohol and {smoking} cigarettes. No wonder the computer game {is} more useful in that case.
Moreover, {pursuing} one's own {interest} is very important. A computer game can become a {hobby} for some young people. {Through playing} a game they can acquire some skills. They can learn another language or learn how to use a computer.
To sum up, {} computer games are a [save-eater deriving satisfaction from] (?what did you mean?) this kind of hobbies. It is one of the most popular {ways} of spending spare time. Nevertheless we should remember about {} serious consequences which {} computer games can lead {to}.

tam w podsumowaniu to chciałam napisać że time-eater jako zjadacz czasu ale ze mimot to czerpie sie korzysci z takiego rodzaju hobby . Dziekuj bardzo za sprawdzenie i poświeceniu czasu :) naprawde mi to pomogło :)