list motywacyjny

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
witam, czym mógłby ktoś mi to sprawdzić?
Wiem, że jest mnóstwo błędów, niestety perfekcyjna z angielskiego nie jestem :(
Dear Sir Or Madam,
I am writing to itroduce my candidature for Lillebealt Academy in order to study Service, Hospitality and Tourism Management.
With this letter, I would like to interest my studying in your academy.

I have been always thinking about my future, becoming a sucessful person and generally
finding my own path In the life.

When I have finished highschool In 2015 year, I have not had any soultion what I want to study, who I want to be in the future, if I can achieve something in my life. That is why I have decided to take a gap year. I have resolved to start an adventure In Spain-it was my dream from the childhood-as an Au Pair. I have gone alone, without any spanish skills. The begginings were really hard for me, I could not deal with live there without my family, in the country completely unknown. But, step by step, I started to speak spanish, meet new people and love my host family. It was the best decision In my life, and then I decided: One thing, what I want to do, it is traveling.

Why travelling? My teacher Said me once:”Travels broadens the mind”- I completely agree with that. When I spent around nine months living abroad, I realized, that traveling it is the best option for the life. I found out so many things from the people around over the world . They told me what I should do in my life to be happy and fulfill.

In my highschool, teacher said me that I should keep learning english and other language.
Not everyone wanted to do that-but I knew, that without language skills, we have closed door to know world much better.

When I have been attending to highschool, I was a member of school cancil, as a treasuer. I love contact with people, I always tried to having good relations with my classmates or teachers. It was great opportunity for spending free time.

My parents and me are the members of „Polski Czerwony Krzyż”- its a secular organisation for helping people, who can not afford to living In Poland in good conditions. We always prepare some clothes for them, collect the money and try to make them happy, even modest living conditions. What is more, I was attending to chuch choir and then, together with conventual, we were members of „Caritas”-its similar organization. I realised that everyone deserve for happiness, then, if we have an opportunity to help other people, we just should do that, especially for the kids from poverty-stricken children who want to have normal childhood.

In my extensive travels throughout Europe, I one day realized that I would like to study abroad, gain new knowledge and new life experience, learn other cultures, and meet people from other countries like I did it In Spain.I Lenart, that if you want to be sucessful, you need to work on it.

Why I chosed Denmark?
I have been always thinking about studying abroad. But, to be honest, I did not believe In myself. that studying abroad is just for excellent people. Then, I started to read about study In Denmark. That this country supports students, and they can develop yourself In every field of study. I read about study there a lot, then I started to believe In myself and my skills. Denmark is also the best country to living and being happy and delighted from the life. In Odence, there is a Hans Christian Andersen museum-when I was a kid, I loved his tales-that would be a great opportunity to know his city better.

Concern as regards my interests, I am glad to say that I am not a person who is only engaged in studies. I have dozens of activities which I like to do. ing my personality, I believe I am a very resposible individual who loves to learn new things and to seek new experiences. I have a passion for photography, and I enjoy browning photo exhibitions even more than taking photos myself. In addition, I love singing, In my city I participated In some festivals. I really like reading and watching documents about traveling. Last time I read a book about Siberia- I could not imagine how they can brave the elements, being always cheerfull and helpull.

I understand that studying abroad is going to be the most challenging step In my life, but I also believe I can withstand any problems I will face and make the most of the knowledge and experience gained through this study programme.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully,
My teacher Said me once uzyj inne 'powiedział'
Why I chosed Denmark? irregular verb
My parents and me are the members of „Polski Czerwony Krzyż”- its a secular organisation for helping np THAT HELPS people,
Then, I started to read about study In Denmark. inna forma + dlaczego 'In' z wielkiej litery tutaj?
I have dozens of activities which I like to do. ing my personality, ... co chcesz tu przekazać?
numerous spelling errors
edytowany przez Aaric: 13 sie 2016
Dear Sir 'Or' (tutaj mala litera) Madam,
I am writing to 'itroduce' (blad ortog) 'my candidature' (to jest za bardzo po polsku, nikt w anglojezycznym kraju tak nie mowi. Lepiej ..to apply) for (brak przedimka) Lillebealt Academy in order to study Service, Hospitality and Tourism Management (ale na jakim poziomie? czy to jest tajemnica?)
'With this letter, I would like to interest my studying in your academy' (calkowicie niepotrzebne, bo po pierwsze to nic nie dodaje a po drugie nikt tak nie pisze)

I have been always thinking about my future, becoming a sucessful person and generally
finding my own path In the life. (nie wiem co to ma do tematu, przeciez kazdy przyszly student tak moze napisac...pytanie co z tego? jakie to ma znaczenie?)

When I 'have' (niepotr) finished 'highschool' (to sa 2 slowa) 'In' (mala litera) 2015 'year' (niepotrzebne slowo, dlaczego myslisz po polsku a piszesz po angielsku?), I 'have[ (niepotrzebne slowo) DID not 'had' (zly czas,) any 'soultion' (blad ortog) what I want to study, 'who' (tutaj ja bym dala 'whom') I want to be in the future, if I can achieve something in my life. That is why I 'have' (niepotr) decided to take a gap year. I have resolved to start an adventure 'In' (mala litera) Spain-it was my dream from 'the' (niepotr) childhood-'as an Au Pair' (nie rozumiem tego pojecia tutaj, musisz napisac ...to become an au-pair, albo 'to be ..). I 'have gone' (zly czas) alone, without any 'spanish' (duza litera) skills. The 'begginings' (blad ortog) were really hard for me, I could not deal with 'live' (zle slowo, tutaj 'living') there without my family, in 'the' (niepotr) (brakuje odpowiedniego przedimka) 'country' (to slowo jest w zlym miejsc) completely unknown (tutaj daj 'country'). But, step by step, I started to speak 'spanish' (duza litera), meet new people and TO love my host family. It was the best decision 'In' (mala litera) my life, and then I decided: One thing, what I want to do, it is (tutaj cos brak, albo ...to go travelling, albo 'to travel') traveling.

Why travelling? My teacher 'Said' (zle slowo) me once (ja dalabym tutaj 'that', ale to dlatego, ze ja lubie robic rzeczy poprawnie) :”Travels broadens the mind”- I completely agree with that. When I spent around 'nine' (mozna 9) months living abroad, I realized, that traveling it is the best option for 'the' (zle slowo) life. I found out so many things from the people around 'over the world' (nie rozumiem pojecia jakie to ma przekazac) . They told me what I should do in my life to be happy and 'fulfill' (ale co? brakuje rzeczownika, albo daj inne slowo).

In my 'highschool' (to sa 2 slowa), (brak przedimka) teacher 'said' (zle slowo) me that I should keep learning 'english' (duza litera, nazwa wlasna) and 'other' (to jest zle slowo, albo 'another, albo 'other' ale wtedy musisz dac l. mnoga rzeczownika) language.
Not everyone wanted to do that-but I knew, that without language skills, 'we'(dlaczego mowisz 'we' co ja mam do tego, jak mowisz tylko o sobie to uzywaj odpowiednie slowa) have (brak przedimka) closed door to know (brak przedimka) world much better.

When I 'have been attending' (zly czas, tutaj simple) 'to' (niepotr slowo) 'highschool' (2 slowa), I was a member of school ' cancil' (to slowo nie istnieje w jez. ang) as a 'treasuer' (blad ortog). I love contact with people, I always tried to 'having' (zle slowo, tutaj 'have') good relations with my classmates or teachers. It was (brak przedimka) great opportunity for spending free time.

My parents and me are the members of „Polski Czerwony Krzyż” (po ang. to Red Cross, Polish Red Cross)- 'its' (to jest zle, tutaj daj 2 slowa) a secular organisation for helping people, who can not afford to 'living' (zle slowo) 'In' (mala litera) Poland in good 'conditions' (zle pojecie, tutaj mozesz uzyc 'circumstances'). We always prepare some clothes for them, collect 'the' (niepotr) money and try to make them happy, even (tu brak slowa) modest living conditions. What is more, I 'was attending' (zly czas, tutaj simpel) 'to' (niepotr) (brak przedimka) 'chuch' (ortog) choir and then, together with 'conventual' (to slowo nie isntieje w jez. and, nie wiem co to ma byc), we were members of „Caritas”-'its' (piszesz zle, bo tutaj masz na mysli 'it is' (albo it's, a piszesz calkowicie cos innego) similar organization. I realised that everyone 'deserve' (everyone tutaj jest l. poj, to dodajemy cos na koncowki czasownika 3os.l.poj) 'for' (niepotr) happiness, then, if we have an opportunity to help other people, we 'just' (w zlym miejscu) should (just)do that, especially for 'the kids from' (niepotr) poverty-stricken children who want to have (brak przedimka) normal childhood.

In my extensive travels throughout Europe, 'I one day' (zle, tutaj one day I) realized that I would like to study abroad, gain new knowledge and new life experience, learn other cultures, and meet people from other countries like I did 'it' (niepotr) 'In' (mala litera) Spain. I 'Lenart' (blad ortog), that if you want to be 'sucessful' (ortog), you need to work on it.

Why I 'chosed' (sprawdz ale dokladnie jak piszemy to slowo) Denmark?
I have 'been always' (zla kolejnosc slow) thinking about studying abroad. But, to be honest, I 'did not believe' (tutaj masz zle, bo piszesz, ze nie wierzylas ze studiowanie jest dla inteligentnych, a masz na mysli calkowicie cos innego) 'In' (mala litera, ale mysle ze ono i tak jest niepotr) myself that studying abroad is just for 'excellent' (zle slowo tutaj) people. Then, I started to read about 'study' (zle slowo, tutaj 'studying) 'In' (mala litera) Denmark. That this country supports students, and they can develop 'yourself' (calkowicie zle slowo, co masz na mysli to 'ich' a slowo powinno byc l. mn - themselves') 'In'(mala litera) every field of study. I read about study there 'a lot' (wh mnie niepotr), then I started to believe 'In' (mala litera) myself and my skills. Denmark is also the best country to 'living' (zle slowo, tutaj 'live'-mieszkac) and 'being' (zle slowo, tutaj 'be') happy and delighted from 'the' (niepotr) life. In Odence, there is a Hans Christian Andersen museum-when I was a kid, I loved his tales-that would be a great opportunity to know his city better.

Concern as regards my interests, I 'am glad to say' (ja bym to dala inaczej, albo niepotr) 'that I' (niepotr) am not a person who is only engaged in studies. I have dozens of activities which I like 'to doing' (to jest zle, tutaj 'to do'-robic) (tutaj brakuje pare slow) my personality, I believe THAT I am a very 'resposible' (ortog) individual who loves to learn new things and to seek new experiences. I have a passion for photography, and I enjoy 'browning' (nie rozumiem tego slowa) photo exhibitions even more than taking photos myself. In addition, I love singing, In my city I participated 'In' (mala litera) 'some' (podaj jakie to byly) festivals. I really like reading and watching 'documents' (dozuments to sa 'papiery, ty tego nie masz na mysli, o czym myslisz to 'documentaries') about traveling. Last time I read a book about Siberia- I could not imagine how they can brave the elements, being always 'cheerfull' (ortog) and 'helpull' (co to za slowo?).

I understand that studying abroad is going to be the most challenging step 'In' (mala litera) my life, but I also believe I can withstand any problems I will face and make the most of the knowledge and experience gained through this study programme.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

Tyle ode mnie. Trzeba to napisac jeszcze raz, bez zadnych bledow. Troche piszesz o san-ferry-ann, nie do tematu. Taki list powinnien bycscisly do tematu prezentujac Ciebie z najlepszej strony i co najwazniejsze, to jest pismo FORMALNE, a nie do kolezanki z podworka, i musisz uzywac odpowienne formalne slownictwo.

Yours faithfully,[/quote]
Ta szkoła się zawiedzie gdy zobaczą że nawet jej nazwę źle napisałaś :-)
Cytat:
Ta szkoła się zawiedzie gdy zobaczą że nawet jej nazwę źle napisałaś :-)

There is no need to shed your tears - perhaps one day it'll come off better ;)
Cytat:
I understand that studying aIbroad is going to be the most challenging step


...and I do understand that studying abroad is going to be the one amongst ....tyle ode mnie :) mozesz dać 'do " przed " understand ' dla podkreślenia mysli ,nie musisz oczywiscie :)
edytowany przez Robbertoxx: 14 sie 2016
Big blue eyes do make a trick , no reason to worry - you'll come out of it unscathed ;)
I gave in to a big blue blue eyes' infatuation ..I would've been much happier at all now unless..
Happily I'm older and wiser now after all those setbacks that had happened to me ..so I'm going to think hard a million times before I put " I love u' to anybody - 'love' - a great word conveying its hidden meaning and yet a one amongst the most overused ones all over the World :)
edytowany przez Robbertoxx: 15 sie 2016
Raczej wiadomo, że ten list jest napisany na brudno, spokojnie, uczelnię znam i wszystko dokładnie :)
Cytat: moniczka33
Raczej wiadomo, że ten list jest napisany na brudno, spokojnie, uczelnię znam i wszystko dokładnie :)

a dlaczego 'na brudno'? Czy nie masz tyle szacunku do osob ktore marnowaly swoj czas nato, zeby napisac 'dobra wersje'? Czy myslisz, ze ktos moze SWOJ czas poswiecac bo ty to sie tylko tak 'bawisz'?
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