List formalny - czy wystarczający na CAE?

Witam serdecznie,

Przygotowuję się powoli do CAE w domu. Na razie chcę uzupełnić braki, w przyszłym roku pewnie zapiszę się na kurs. Wczoraj trochę się uczyłem i natknąłem się na takie zadanie:

Ogłoszenie

We offer grants to young people to study abroad for up to six months. Age limit 16-30. The grant covers all expenses and provides some pocket money. You must study or research a subject that you have already developed an interest in, and submit o 5,000 word report to us at the end of study period.

Polecenie

Write your letter of aplication, giving full details of your education and interests, including the subject you wish to pursue, and explaining why you would be a suitable recipient of the grant. Write approximately 200 words.

Mam 3 pytania:

1. Czy to prawda, że można napisać +/- 10% żądanej liczby słów? Czyli mogę napisać między 180 a 220?
2. Czy do tych 200 słów zaliczają się takie jak "Dir Sir or Madam" i "Yours..."?
3. Czy taki list byłby dobry? Proszę o poprawienie błędów gramatycznych, ale też wskazanie na ewentualne niekompletne zrealizowanie polecenia.

Dir Sir or Madam,
I am responding to your advertisement in a student magazine, offering grants to young people to study abroad.
I am about to finish my third year studying computing at Warsaw University. I have had an opportunity to attend to many courses on designing websites and internet marketing. I also gained practical experience working in my friend’s corporation as a main computer specialist. I have two certificates confirming my skills.
I am very keen on technology and I would like to expand my knowledge in this field. I think that the grant you offer is a great chance for me to unfurl wings and at the same time a leave to a serious career as a website designer. In the future I want to open an interactive agency and the experience I will gain while studying abroad will be necessary for prosperity of my investment.
Obviously, I will write a report at the end of my study period containing all irrelevant information.
I hope that you will be able to offer me this grant. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Jan Kowalski

Dziękuję i pozdrawiam ;)

'Dir' DEAR Sir or Madam, (Jak zaczynamy listy Dear Sir, to konczymy Yours faithfully)
I 'am about to finish' (niepotr(lepiej..I am in) my third year 'studying' (niepotr) 'computing' OF (nie, lepiej IT Technology) STUDIES at Warsaw University. I have had an opportunity to attend 'to' (niepotr) many courses on designing websites and internet marketing (i co z tego? czego sie tam nauczyles?).
I 'also' (niepotr) HAVE gained practical experience working in my friend's corporation as a main computer specialist (przez jak dlugo? tydzien? 5 lat?).
I have two certificates confirming my skills. (a jakie to sa?)
'I think' (nie zaczynaj kazdego zdania z 'I'- i tutaj wiecej formalnie) 'that' (niepotr) The grant you offer is a great chance for me to 'unfurl wings' (nawet nie wiem co chceszz przekazac, to ma byc jezyk formalny) and at the same time 'a leave' (nie rozumiem tego) to a serious career as a website designer. In the future I want to open an interactive agency and the experience I will gain while studying abroad 'will be necessary' (nie, nie task, lepiej will enhance) 'for' (niepotr)THE prosperity of SUCCESS OF my investment.
'Obviously' (to slowo jest niepotr.) I will write a report at the end of my study period containing all 'irrelevant' (nie, nie , oni nie chca 'irrelevant' tylko RELEVANT) information.
I hope that (I will be a suitable candidate for this grant) you will be able to offer me this grant.
I 'am looking' LOOK forward to hearing from you.
Yours 'sincerely' (faithfully),
>Jan Kowalski

Wielkie dzięki!

Tylko coś wyjaśnię:

unfurl wings - miało być "rozwinąć skrzydła", ale napisałem to dosłownie i chyba przesadziłem.

leave - przepustka (do kariery)

irrelevant - oczywiście tutaj pomyliłem się :)

Naprawdę wielkie dzięki za tak szczegółową odpowiedź.

Pozdrawiam