jokes

What are your favourite jokes?
My the best one says what intelligence is;

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, \"Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?\" \"I don\'t know,\" responded the other. \"I\'ll ask him.\"
So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. \"Why are we digging in the hot sun and you\'re standing in the shade?\" \"Intelligence,\" the boss said. \"What do you mean, ‘intelligence\'?\"
The boss said, \"Well, I\'ll show you. I\'ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.\" The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss\' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, \"That\'s intelligence!\"
The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, \"What did he say?\" \"He said we are down here because of intelligence.\" \"What\'s intelligence?\" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, \"Take your shovel and hit my hand.\"

It\'s not that I don\'t know any jokes or something but in fact I don\'t have any favourite ones:) I can only say I don\'t fancy jokes about blondes (you know, \'what does a bimbo when she sth sth\'..etc), as I think they\'re not funny at all ( I am a dark-haired woman, żeby nie było:>)

but you must admit that some jokes about blondes are quite funny
for examle this one:

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she\'d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.

And another one.
Two blondies are traveling by bus. One of them asks a driver- Do I get a railway station ? No - says the driver. The second asks after a moment - And me ?

How do you confuse a blonde?

... you tell her to find a corner in a round room.

And how the blonde confuses you?

... she tells you she\'s found one.

Q: Where do you look for blonde\'s obituaries?
A: Under \"Home Improvements.\"

Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write \'Please turn over\' on both sides of a piece of paper

No tak, i przez te dowcipy szczegolnie popularne w Polsce, wszystkie naturalne blondynki (a jest ich w Polsce wiele) na gwalt farbuja glowy na ciemne kolory! Tak jakby to intelektu mialo przydac!
Do tego opalaja sie i kazda wyglada jak jakas arabka co najmniej lub mulatka!
Moja kolezanka, plowa naturalna blondyka tak sie tym przejela ze sie na czarno przefarbowala bo miala juz dosc tych dowcipow, choc bynajmniej glupia nie jest i dawno po studiach. Przy bardzo jasnej karnacji i dlugich prostych wlosach wyglada obecnie jak glowna bohaterka \"Adams Family\"
Ci co te dowcipy wymyslaja, to chyba wiecej niz podstawowki nie maja! A moze ci co to wymyslaja usiluja sie dowatosciowac jakos?

Tak jakby istniala korelacja pomiedzy kolorem wlosow a IQ! he he he!
Zreszta gdyby tak bylo, to wspolczesna cywilizacja rozwijalaby sie na najwyzszym poziomie tam gdzie pigment we wlosach ma najwyzsze stezenie, czyli w Afryce albo wsrod Arabow. Nie jestem rasistka, ale nawet polglowek zauwazy ze jest wrecz odwrotnie!

buahahahaha
very inteligent post..... are you blonde??? ;-)
Do you know what \"English only\" means?

too much of freedom i would say :-) Sorry but it is FUNNY :-) when you have a blonde trying to protest against blondie-jokes in \"english only\" column in polish language :-) I vote for this one as the best joke by far :-) simply life :-) ;-)

yep martine - she is blonde - she admitted it willingly - look at the name :-)

It\'s rhetorical question ;-)

hyhyhy, even though it\'s funny hehehe, sorry, i cannot stop laughing :-) Good day for laugh: today my boss asked me how many polar bears do we have in Poland... Well - told her as many as eskimoes :-) Zoos don\'t count - she thought about natural living bears in woods :-)

she meant not thought about... what was i thinking about??????? too late for me.... time to go to bed... tomorrow another beautiful day at work - without blondes... :-)

>Moja kolezanka, plowa naturalna blondyka tak sie tym przejela ze sie
>na czarno przefarbowala bo miala juz dosc tych dowcipow

Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
A: Artificial intelligence.

hehe czarny humor. co powiecie na to:
why did a girl fall down from a swing?
because she didn\'t have arms :>

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A: There\'s whiteout on the screen.

or there\'s a lipstick on the joystick ;)

without \"a\" I guess

or the joystick is wet.....

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
Both are empty from the neck up.

;o)

what does a shrink do for living?
a check up from the neck up.

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , \"PULL OVER!\" \"NO!\" the blonde yelled back, \"IT\'S A SCARF!\"

Know Your Phone Number


A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day she calls home and a strange woman answers.

Wife: Who is this?
Maid: This is the maid
Wife: We don\'t have a maid.
Maid: I was hired this morning by the man of the house.
Wife: Well, this is his wife. Is he there?
Maid: He\'s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I assumed was his wife.

The wife is fuming. She says to the maid... \" Listen, would you like to make $50,000?


Maid: What will I have to do.
Wife: I want you to take my gun from the desk and shoot him and the woman he\'s with.

The maid puts the phone down. The wife hears footsteps and the gunshots, then more footsteps.

Maid: What do I do with the bodies?
Wife: Just drag them out and throw them in the swimming pool.
Maid: But there\'s no pool here.

(A long pause)
Wife: Is this 832-4821?

this is one of my favourites:


A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He orders six shots of vodka. The bartender asks the man, \"Have a rough day?\"

The man replies, \"Yeah, I found out my younger brother was gay!\"

The bartender says, \"Man, I\'m sorry to hear that. That\'s awful.\"

The man downs the shots and leaves.

The very next day the same man comes back into the bar and orders six more shots of vodka. Bartender asks the man, \"What\'s wrong today?\"

The man replies, \"I just found out my older brother is gay.\"

Bartender says, \"Man, I\'m sorry to hear that. That\'s terrible.\"

The man downs his shots and leaves.

The man returns again on the third day and again orders six shots of vodka. Bartender asks the man, \"Another rough day?\"

The man says, \"Yeah.\"

The bartender asks the man, \"Does anyone in your family like women??\"

The man says, \"Yeah, my wife.\"

very funny I like it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check this one:
What does a blonde say when sees a swith?
-Poor piggy, who built you in?

Or that:
What is a blonde doing when running around the bath?
-Looking for an entrance

Did you mean socket? Switch doesn\'t usually look like piggy :-)
Cheers

Yeah, that\'s exactly what I have ment. Thx:)

Yo\'re welcome :-) I asked \'cause it could have been some retro switch :-)

Not to flatter ourselves, not many people know that in the US there\'s a phrase \"Polish jokes\" that describes silly jokes. ;)