jokes

Upside Down Blonde

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.

I like blonds , no matter what

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.

\'\'Doctor, the hormones you\'ve been giving me have really helped, but I\'m afraid that you\'re giving me too much. I\'ve started growing hair in places that I\'ve never grown hair before.\'\'

The doctor reassured her, \'\'A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has this hair appeared?\'\'

\'\'On my testicles, which is something else I want to talk to you about...,\'\' replied the lady.

Hi every one ! I like these jokes about blondes and those of sexual content too.

I have a short one

Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?

In case she had to draw some blood.

I want to add that I am blonde and I like it very much.
take care every one !

Hi every one ! I like these jokes about blondes and those of sexual content too.

I have a short one

Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?

In case she had to draw some blood.

I want to add that I am blonde and I like it very much.
take care every one !

It\'s spring and the baby bear comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he\'s a wreck. He\'s skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes. His mother says:\"Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?\". He says: \"Hibernate? Shit, I thought you said MASTURBATE!\".

A agree with you

I\'ve got 2 short ones

Q: Who made the first soft drink?
A: Adam -- he made Eve\'s cherry pop


Q: What\'s 72 ?
A: 69 with 3 people watching!

Q: How would you call a spaniard whose car had been stolen?
A: Carlos

Adam and Eve were standing opposite to each other when Adam got his first erection. The two watched, astonished, until Adam suddenly exclaimed, ?Move aside -- I don\'t know how far its gonna go.?

Very interesting comments......the really bad and unfunny jokes aside. Particularly struck by the asinine comment regarding racist jokes. They really are not funny in any sense and serve only to further divide people. Were I a bigot with a sub-par IQ I would perhaps laugh at the one about the \'nigger\' and the parrot. But I was appalled at it in the same manner that I am appalled at \'polish\' jokes. Please understand that in North America Polish people are most associated with 2 things: Stupidity and Car Theft.

Although I am not polish and have no desire to be polish I make an effort as often as I can to educate people about Poland (with what little knowledge I have of your country) and the fact that polish people are no more stupid and engage in car theft no more or no less than north americans.

Racist jokes are meant to degrade and mock a particular culture and race by another culture and/or race who believe themselves to be superior. Do you as Poles like to be mocked and degraded by the Russians and the Germans....both of whom have ruled your counrty with slight exceptions for the past 300 hundred years? Does the intellectual midget with the verbal diarrhea (Bob1?) realize that by condoning racist jokes he/she/it is condoning bigotry against he/she/it\'s own people? I mean if there is any legitimacy to being racist both the Russians and Germans should have well-founded claims against Poland since they have dominated your culture for such a long time.....

People, please think before saying some things. This advice is not meant to castigate but to educate.

Cheers!

Corum: I recommend to read more about European history beause you reveal very vague understanding of history at the moment. The advice to educate seem to be very appriopriate also for YOU. And don\'t patronize people advising them \"to think before saying some things\". It is rather offensive...

It is a TRUE MIRACLE that Poland exists and has its own culture given the fact that the neighbouring countries ( Russia & Germany) where MUCH LARGER in terms of population and other prevailing powers.
The fact that Poland EXISTS is only thanks to the Polish charisma and national identity.
I recommend you to relax and stop being so politically correct because it is rather pathetic!
The most sophisticated sense of humor is when we laugh at weaknesses of others as well as at our own flaws!

right you are, grzechotnik.

Giving common features, tendentions etc. the people of nationalities all over the world is the way people appreciate themselves; honestly, are all polish people lazy? Do all niggers smell bad, like it\'s said? Are all germans hard-working? Yes, Maybe there are MORE hardworking people in Germeny than in Poland, maybe a great number of niggers smell bad but NOT all.
To be quite frank, a german boasting himself could as well have been born in poland or, even worse, in e.g. Iraq. He would have to get used to first being thought a real shit and only later, having proven not to be so, having what the occupants of rich etc. countries have on the start.

I am well-acquainted with European history......domination comes in more than one form. Yes, it is a miracle that there is a Poland today and one which still has a unique culture and language.

My intention was not to patronize, however, certain posters appear to lack an understanding of what the term \'nigger\' implies. THERE IS NOTHING HUMOUROUS IN THAT WORD. It signifies all the worst qualities of mankind and is equated with rape, murder, hangings, burnings, torture, and slavery and yes a lot of that STILL happens today. Have you any concept of what that means? How pathetic of YOU to attempt to justify racist comments!?!!? Are you perhaps then an advocate of Eugenics? How ironic that would be since Poland was singled out for special treatment by the eugenically-inclined Germans only 64 years ago......

It has nothing to do with being politically correct....and I am certainly one of the most politically INcorrect people you\'ll meet....but I do take exception to comments which imply that one \'race\' or \'culture\' is better than another and when a person uses the term \'nigger\' they are implying that they are somehow better than that \'black\' person.

The most sophisticated humour is called wit.....it is knowing how to be funny without being crude or crass.....just as I would not refer to a woman as a \'bitch\' I would defer from calling a black person a \'nigger\'. I\'m sure you\'ve read Douglas Adams, or Joseph Heller, or Vladimir Nabokov, or Umberto Ecco........all very funny but without using words like kike, spic, nigger, wop, cake, cracker, etc ....etc...etc.....

I am not suggesting that I am somehow smarter or better than anyone else, however, if (as I suspect) this board is visited by intelligent people who want to learn and understand the english language then they should know that use of some words are never acceptable. Should you wish to test what I said, then I would gladly extend an invitiation to Bob1 to come to Toronto and tell his little joke to some very nice people I know! I assure you that subsequent to the telling the only thing that would happen is a whole lot of crying on Bob1\'s part.......

Cheers

???

I have been living in USA long enough to be familiar with the term \"nigger\"

Yes, it is offensive, so is KIWI etc.

Yes you quoted everything what possible in YOUR long long verbal diarrhea.
I still see that you are PATRONIZING almost in EVERY SENTENCE as if you assumed that there are only kids or uneducated people visiting this forum. Nobody needs to read any patronizing wisdoms of yours here. You show off with your superior wit supported by couple of names from literature. Yet another way to try to prove your superiority. Yet another guy with the vison of world based on meritocracy. You might be reading too much Nietzsche...Get that stiff stick out of your butt, man!


Joke is a joke. For me the joke about stupidity of Poles is similar to the one about blacks. No matter what always you cna offend somebody when you tell jokes so : either you are going to toe the line and be politically correct or just you relax and laugh at everything . ANYBODY CAN WRITE ANYTHING HERE. THAT IS DEMOCRACY! It is only up to you what jokes you like and you want to further forward.

Let\'s wait for Bob1 to say something , as I am not his advocate.

A few years ago, one of the most influential British newspapers asked their readers what were the things they would never laugh at, being politically correct. The answers were: the handicapped, the poor, the blind etc. So the newspaper published a series of jokes about the handicapped, the poor, the blind, etc...
In other words, there is no taboo when it comes to joking! Recently, there has been an outburst of jokes about peadophiles... and they are often veeery funny, although peadophila is something really disgusting. I think that jokes, even the most filthy, often help us to cope with reality, to soften it and make it funnier somehow. And personally I don\'t feel offended by jokes about the Poles- on the contrary, I like them! Let\'s laugh, people!

Another Dumb Blonde

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he\'s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he\'s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: \'\'I\'ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person\'s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It\'s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!\'\'
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, \'\'You stay out of this, mister! I\'m talking to that little jerk on your knee!\'\'

Sounds like you are afflicted with an inferiority complex and expect everyone else to feel the same. Nothing that I wrote was comveyed in a patronizing manner - although I can see where a person without strong convictions may read it as such. I think rather that you need to relax. If you live in a multicultural society how completely ignorant you must be if you still condone bigoted \'jokes\'. Have you ever had to confront racism...I mean actually defend yourself because of your race? If you did you would not be so cavalier about the matter. Do you have non-white friends? Have you actually ever talked to a black person?

How many people posting here have lived outside of Poland and seen racism firsthand? I can tell you that if you came here to Toronto and made cruel \'jokes\' about people you would be shunned...not because people are being politically correct but rather because we are a far more tolerant and understanding society. Most people understand that cruel \'jokes\' are simply a mask for bigotry and there is no longer a place for that in a civilized culture.

I can tell you that I had a polish friend who thought that there was nothing wrong with the word \'nigger\' too....she had no idea how offensive it was to black people...she had never experienced racism...had never seen it happen to anyone else either so she did not know how it makes a person feel. She eventually went to the USA a few years ago to work.....she asked her new employer what he thought about Poles and his answer was \"they work hard but they are stupid\'. She was shocked! And hurt....and never got over that comment. Subsequently she began to pay more attention to the issue of \'race\' and the perceptions that people have of others....

BTW.......I HAVE read Nietzsche but it\'s quite apparent that you have NOT........

Hopless...
On the contrary to you , how many degrees I have, how many languages I speak and what I read... pathetic... Your last sentence again reveal that patronizing attitude.... I will not comment other insults.....

Toronto Torontro Toronto... you reapeating it each post...Is Toronto a belly button of the world or what?

So what? I live in California San Francisco and SOOOO WHAT? It doesn\'t mater where you live... Even people in Warsaw can be more open minded than those from Paris... Jokes are everywhere... Read the most recent post of other people as well...

I am not going to continue this conversation as you are raging and it seems to be a waste of time.

Bob1, I am leaving you the conversation with this guy... I had enough...boooring.

Has anybody thought about one thing: you cannot pick a colour of your body when you\'re born and have no possibility to change it during your life, but you have influence on your behaviour and knowledge. Well, I think that nobody should joke about things they have no influence on - just like race.

P.S.
Every day I laugh with Brits with my husb ( is from Manchester UK)
and the best jokes about blacks tells me my Jamaikan black friend.
Rob, another Black friend at work also sometimes cracks a jokes about Blacks. I am just famous for joing about blonds and Polish folk...
Ther is NOTHING more healthy than a healthy distance to ourself and laughing at ourself.
Relax maaaaaaaaaannnnnn.... AND laugh with us.

Hi Rita,
I\'ve read your exchange and there\'s nothing more I could add - I simply agree with your comments.
And our adversary IS patronising, oversensitive and lacking sense of humour.

Rattle-snake...?

true,
it\'s good ability to laugh at oneself. Pity, so many people lack it.

Thats a good joke Fregata and I like it though I am a natural blonde :)
I don\'t find jokes about blonde offensive beacause they are jokes and if there are so many jokes about blondes that means that men like blondes prety much and that they find us prety sexxxy ;-)
I also like those jokes of sexual content because they refer to what\'s natural - sex together with our life. That is why it is hard for me to understand Corum\'s position. Nobody orders you to laugh , different people like different jokes , I am open-minded person and I like to laugh unles it refers to handicaped people and racism.I think jokes like that are sick. Be more open-minded Corum ! Take care every one !

Thats a good joke Fregata and I like it though I am a natural blonde :)
I don\'t find jokes about blonde offensive beacause they are jokes and if there are so many jokes about blondes that means that men like blondes prety much and that they find us prety sexxxy ;-)
I also like those jokes of sexual content because they refer to what\'s natural - sex together with our life. That is why it is hard for me to understand Corum\'s position. Nobody orders you to laugh , different people like different jokes , I am open-minded person and I like to laugh unles it refers to handicaped people and racism.I think jokes like that are sick. Be more open-minded Corum ! Take care every one !

of course that the color of skin doesn\'t mean anything. I agree...
I am ultra tolerant. I don\'t see that the race matters more than the nationality, height, sexual orientation, color of hair or amount of $$$$ in the pocket! Rarely anybody jokes at disabilities as it is a very bad bad taste. Race nationality is not DISABILITY.

The variety of color of the skin or passport makes us more interesting, diverse mix so it is rather the advantage to be diffrent:))

But jokes about race, nationality will exist whether we want or not. It is only the matter if we want to forward them or not... and THAT is a VERY personal choice.

eeexaaactly Nera.... I agreeeee....

opsssss misspelt your nick Nekka... it is a bit late...

I totally agree with you Neeka !!! There are some racist jokes that can be very offensive they are usaually Nazzi Jokes, hardcore form o racist jokes.There are also jokes that are soft and that show simply the difference and it\'s funny but other racist jokes are sick.As fors sex what is wrong in sex I do not see anything wrong in sex jokes.These are only jokes. Corum think twice before you post something and be more tolerant!