FCE esej prośba o sprawdzenie

Mam prośbę o sprawdzenie mojej pracy:) Przygotowuję się właśnie do egzaminu, to jest mój pierwszy esej.. Byłabym bardzo wdzięczna, ponieważ uczę się sama i nie do końca jestem w stanie poradzić sobie z tą częścią egzaminu.. Starałam się używać różnorodnych struktur i w miarę urozmaiconego słownictwa, chociaż temat w ogóle mi nie podpasował..

Do celebrieties deserve the admiration they receive?

1. the influence they have on young people
2. the money they are paid
3. travel all over the world

People look up celebrities becouse of their fame and luxury life . Not only do are there famous people connected with sport or television , but also a great number of well-known people, most of which do not have any particular talents or knowledge . I wonder if everyone deserve the admiration.

Most of young people model themselves on famous people. Should they choose not appropriate person, it can be extremely dangerous. On the other hand, if young people admire celebrities who are succeed for example in sport it can be very motivating for them.

It is said that money rule the world. Furthermore, celebrities often focus only on this, forgetting about others values. They are capable of selling their private lives taking part in reality shows in order to earn enormous amount of money.

What is more, celebrities usually travel all around the world visiting exotic places. Often it is part of their job; nevertheless, it is still one of the most stunning activities, which are not available for 'ordinary' people.

To conclude, only part of celebrities deserve on admiration. In my opinion, we can model ourselve on celebrities, but we should choose only this kind of people, who motivate us for doing something profitable for us.

Z góry dziękuję za pomoc..

Do celebrieties deserve the admiration they receive?

1. the influence they have on young people
2. the money they are paid
3. travel TO ZNACZY 'PODRÓŻOWAĆ' all over the world

People look up BRAK SŁOWA celebrities becouse< -ORTOGRAFIA of their fame and luxury < -TO JEST RZECZOWNIK, POTRZEBUJESZ PRZYMIOTNIKA life . Not only do are there famous people connected with sport or television NIE ROZUMIEM TEGO ZDANIA, A POZA TYM JEST NIGRAMATYCZNE , but also a great number of well-known people ALE CO?, most of which do not have any particular talents or knowledge NIE ROZUMIEM . I wonder if everyone deserves the admiration TU MUSISZ COS DOPISAC NP. THEY GET.

Most of young people model themselves on famous people. Should they choose not appropriate DAJ PRZEDIMEK I JAKIŚ INNY PRZYMIOTNIK person, it can be extremely dangerous. On the other hand, if young people admire celebrities who are succeed 'KTORZY SĄ OSIĄGAĆ SUKCES' for example in sport it can be very motivating for them.

It is said that money rule the world. Furthermore, celebrities often focus only on this, forgetting about others values. They are capable of selling their private lives taking part in reality shows in order to earn PRZEDIMEK LUB L. MNOGA enormous amount of money.

What is more, celebrities usually travel all around the world visiting exotic places. Often it is part of their job; nevertheless, it is still one of the most stunning activities, which are not available for 'ordinary' people.

To conclude, only PRZEDIMEK part of celebrities deserve on admiration. In my opinion, we can model ourselveS on celebrities, but we should choose only this kind of people, NIEPOTRZEBNY PRZECINEK who motivate us for doing TO DO something profitable for us.

niektóre zdania ładne, niektóre bardzo złe. Pisz prościej, na razie nie staraj sie uzywac zbyt zaawansowanej gramatyki

Oczywiście, look up to i luxurious i because, to akurat była literówka;) Dalej chciałam użyć konstrukcji not only...but also ale w inwersji. Miałam w książce taki przykład: Not only does my sister play handball, but also volleyball. Moze cos przekombinowalam:) Dalej chyba powinnam użyć czegoś w rodzaju "achive success"

Dziekuje za pomoc, bardzo przydatne uwagi.. Niestety wiele błędów widzi sie dopiero jak ktoś je wskaże..:)

tak, achieve success albo succeed

Generalnie mam jeszcze problemy z przedimkami, napisałam jeszcze jeden esej, z wydaje mi się prostszymi zdaniami.. Poprosiłabym jeszcze o sprawdzenie (ostatni, nie chcę nadużywać niczyjej uprzejmości :) )


In your English class you have been talking about the importance of team work. Now your English teacher has asked you to write an essay.

Is it better to do things with other people or to do them on your own?

1. work at school or college
2. sports activities
3. travelling in the mountains


Sometimes it is better to do things with other people, but on the other hand there are activities some people prefer doing themselves.

The cooperation can be especially important before the examinations at school or college. People can, for example, motivate each other to do some progress; nevertheless, if they have totally different way of learning, they can disturb each other.

Secondly, there are many of sports people have to compete with other players. Furthermore, games are much more exciting and unpredictable due to emotions connected with competition. However, team sports can be hugely stressful for introverts who usualy prefer doing individual activities.

Finally, other people can be extremely important during travelling, for example, in the high mountains. It is commonly known that this kind of activities can be very dangerous and people should not climb alone. Nonetheless, some of people look for solitude and prefer travelling alone. It is the reason why they should choose the lower mountains.

On the whole, although there are some activities which people prefer doing alone, in my opinion they should do most of things with other people, for it is often more enjoyable and safe.

The cooperation (ale z kim? wg mnie trzeba napisac) can be especially important before 'the' (wg mnie niepotrz) examinations at school or college. People can, for example, motivate each other to 'do' (to jest zle slowo, tutaj inne, np. encourage, - cos takiego) some progress; nevertheless, if they have totally different way (jak piszesz slowo 'way' l. poj, to musi byc przedimek przed slowem 'totally,, mozesz napisac 'ways' i wtedy bez przedimka) of learning, they can disturb each other.

Secondly, there are many of sports people (tu brakuje slowa WHO) have to compete with other players. 'Furthermore' (dla mnie to jest za silne slowo, cos innego), games are much more exciting and unpredictable due to emotions connected with competition. However, team sports can be hugely stressful for introverts who 'usualy' (blad ortog.) prefer doing individual activities.

Finally, other people can be extremely important during travelling, for example, in 'the' (tutaj ja bym nie dawala 'the') high mountains. It is 'commonly' (nie, uzyj inne slowo, np 'well') known that this kind of activities can be very dangerous and people should not 'climb' (ja bym tutaj dala 'go climbing') alone. Nonetheless, some 'of' (niepotr slowo) people look for solitude and prefer travelling alone. It is the reason why they should choose the lower mountains. (troche tutaj zgubilo sense, moze inaczej....travelling alone, and for safety reasons they should choose ...)

On the whole, although there are some activities which people prefer doing alone, in my opinion they should do most 'of' (niepotr,) 'things' (daj inne slowo, bo to nic tutaj nie znaczy, jakie things?, lepiej 'activities,) with other people, for it is often more enjoyable and safe.

Dziękuję bardzo za uwagi, doczytałam m.in o przedimkach, okazało się, że nie do końca to rozumiałam.. Pozdrawiam!:)

W zasadzie nie wiem, czy mogę sobie wrzucać tutaj tak bezkarnie prace do sprawdzenia, ale zaryzykuje jeszcze z jednym esejem..

In your English class you have been talking about the importance of money in the modern world. Now your English teacher has asked you to write an essay.

Some people say you don't need much money to be happy. What do you think?

1. When money is necessary
2. Having the latest gadgets
3. Preserving the future

It is commonly known that people often disagree about importance of money. However, it is unquestioned that it is a significant part of a human's modern life.

First of all, most of adult people think about their independence and as a result they buy flats or houses. Admittedly, it is obvious that they can be happy in a rented flat, but it is much convinient to have a own place to life.

Secondly, the modern world is closely connected with a high technology. There are enormously amount of appliances (for example computers, mobile phones), which can make the human's life easier. On the other hand, some people are addicted to buying useless items. The question is if it is advisable to corelate happiness with possessing unimporent things.

Finaly, people should start looking to the future and planning their old age. It is relatively a long period of the human's life. In other words, they should have some savings to spend this time interestingly (for example visiting other countries).

To sum up, it seems to me clear that having much money can make the human's modern life easier; nevertheless, it is pointless to compare happiness with money.

niektore błędy:
it is much convinient
to have a own place to life
corelate
unimporent
There are enormously amount of appliances (for example computers, mobile phones)
Finaly
having much money

Ok, niektóre jasne (mam problem z klawiaturą, niby sprawdzałam, ale nie wyłapałam wszystkiego)

to have a own place to life
corelate
There are enormously amount of appliances (for example computers, mobile phones)
having much money

Te wynikają z jakiegoś złego sformułowania??

Dziękuję

ok, much more convenient
corelate happiness and possessing unimporent things
There are enormous amount of appliances
I może po prostu: having a lot of money (zasugerowałam się tym, że w pytaniu było... you don't need much money)

reszta to literówki

to have a own place to life
corelate - wątpię że o te słowo ci chodzi
There are enormously amount of appliances (for example computers, mobile phones) np large number of electronics
having much money

rzeczywiście, amount jest tylko dla niepoliczalnych..
corelate sth and sth- chodziło mi o zestawienie czegoś z czymś
have an own place..

corelate sth and sth- chodziło mi o zestawienie czegoś z czymś i w słowniku jest 'corelate'?
have an own place to l__e :-)

The question is if it is advisable to look for connection between happiness and possessing unimportant things.

Jest albo corelate albo correlate, podobno dwie formy poprawne.

Dzięki za rebus, załapałam..:)

Ja nie znam formy 'corelate'
Dzięki za rebus, załapałam..:) Więc co ma tam być?

live

mam nadzieję

to w takim razie lepiej będzie correlate