Hello! Here is my homework which I would like you to look at and check all of the mistakes that you can spot. Especially when it comes to usage of collocations and tenses and the coherence of this work and grammar of course!. Every useful modification/tip would be welcome. Here we go :
Jane Joyce was a friend of mine since the school days. Jane was living in the apartment next to mine, on the same floor. We were neighbors since I can remember even though, I have taken up with her during the first year of primary school.
Jane was a normal girl without any distinguishing marks. She was of average build. Her face was always beaming with smile, a smile which was adding a lot to her charm. She had black eyes and dark hair. She must have been somewhat attractive, but at the age of seven it wasn't important to me whatsoever.
Jane was a special girl. I’ve started to get on well with her at the beginning of the first year of the primary school There was a vast difference between her demeanor and of female contemporaries of hers. She wasn’t fighting shy of the boys. She could easily talk and play with us. To amazement of her girlfriends she enjoyed even playing football. This is how our friendship began, We’ve met on the pitch. I was impressed that girl was able to dribble and was not afraid of driving into tackles. I learned that she is very open to others, and somewhat courageous. After some time, We invited her into our pack of friends
Jane said that she prefers to hang out with me and my friends because it was more interesting that spending time with her female colleagues which were boring her to tears. She preferred rather boyish activities, so she gained a nickname of a tomboy, but to our pack it was fine and she was a pivotal person in our group.
She was a very lively person. Her vigor was extraordinary. Whilst we were playing hide-and-seek she was always to be found last. It was thanks to her hide-outs. She didn’t have any problems of crawling under the car or climbing up the trees. She was agile enough to do so, and daring as well.
A big role in Jane’s juvenile years were playing sports. She was very sporty. Not only she played football mentioned earlier but also she was a captain of volleyball school team which had tremendous successes in the championship of a district.
Jane was extremely interesting girl She was unusual when it comes to her interests and way of life. With her cheerful attitude to everybody she could make a multitude of friends. She was a great playmate of mine and I will never forget her and her resplendent smile.
Thanks in advance! :)