A short story - proszę o sprawdzenie:p

So far, everything had gone according to his plans: he closed the door and was just about to run his car when suddenly Gregory, a raven, appeared on the mask of his car. The raven wore his most elegant red hat with a black ribbon. This could only mean trouble.
-Daniel, I found you! – he exclaimed
–Indeed– replied Daniel.
-Stop, do not speak!-Gregory interrupted - Our queen wants to see you. Fly with me to Alaska!
-But.. I had plans… I even closed the door and I was about to run my car when you suddenly… What?! Why to Alaska? Our queen lives two streets from my house. – Daniel was thrown off the balance.
-Yes, I know. But I love you and here, in the US, marriages between a homosexual raven and a man are forbidden. We have to fly to Alaska where our love can truly expand! – Gregory explained.
Drops of sweat appeared on Daniel’s forehead. It was the worst scenario he could dream of. Of course Daniel was always fully aware of Gregory’s feelings towards him, but it did not mean he shared them. He liked that weirdo – it just was not the kind of relationship that would satisfy his grandmother!
There was no other choice.
-I am SO sorry, Greg, I have just realized I got a diarrhoea, so.. maybe some other time? – he made up hastily.
Oh.. well.. OK. -quoth the raven and flew to Burger King, where he worked during weekends.

Sliczne! :)

thrown off the balance.

moze knocked off balance

he could dream of.

moze he could have imagined?

diarrhoea

niepoliczalne

he made up hastily.

wydaje mi sie ze brakuje dopelnienia

i nie wiem czy expand to najlepszy czasownik do love

So far, everything had gone according to his plans: he closed the door and was just about to run his car when suddenly Gregory, a raven, appeared on the mask of his car. The raven wore his most elegant red hat with a black ribbon. This could only mean trouble.
-Daniel, I found you! – he exclaimed
–Indeed– replied Daniel.
-Stop, do not speak!-Gregory interrupted - Our queen wants to see you. Fly with me to Alaska!
-But.. I had plans… I even closed the door and I was about to run my car when you suddenly… What?! Why to Alaska? Our queen lives two streets from my house. – Daniel was thrown off the balance.
-Yes, I know. But I love you and here, in the US, marriages between a homosexual raven and a man are forbidden. We have to fly to Alaska where our love can truly expand! – Gregory explained.
Drops of sweat appeared on Daniel’s forehead. It was the worst scenario he could dream of. Of course Daniel was always fully aware of Gregory’s feelings towards him, but it did not mean he shared them. He liked that weirdo – it just was not the kind of relationship that would satisfy his grandmother!
There was no other choice.
-I am SO sorry, Greg, I have just realized I got a diarrhoea, so.. maybe some other time? – he made up hastily.
Oh.. well.. OK. -quoth the raven and flew to Burger King, where he worked during weekends.

the mask of his car : tak sie nie pisze po angielsku
-Daniel, I found you! – In English, one uses quotation marks to indicate dialogue.
to run my car : czy to mialo byc "start my car"

-quoth the raven : popraw

– it just was not the kind of relationship that would satisfy his grandmother!

Is it only me or satisfy should be changed here?

ewww....
moze "...relationship that his grandmother would approve of"

"I got a diarrhoea" jest ok? mam na mysli szczegolnie the indefinite article "a".

btw. "quoth" is the old English version of the word "quotes", isn't it?? (I'm not saying it sounds appropriate there, given the register)

btw. "quoth" is the old English version of the word "quotes", isn't it?? (I'm not saying it sounds appropriate there, given the register) [/quote]

pakk, chyba wiem co "quoth" znaczy, nie myslisz?
::))

nie jest ok, nie wiem dlaczego ktos mialby uzywac przedimka nieokreslonego w takim wypadku
I got (an attack of) diarrhoea.


quoth = said in Old, Old English

Thanks for the clarification.

[/quote]

Ale wlasnie o to chodzi, ze quoth. to wychodzi humorystycznie przez zderzenie takiego rejestru z praca w burger kingu.

Dziękuję wszystkim za sugestie i poprawki :)
thecheshirecat, oczywiście, miało być odrobinkę surrealistycznie :D