ponowna prośba o sprawdzenie...essay for and against

Computers are devices which are becoming more and more popular every day. These electronic items have as many supporters as opponents. First group say that computers make our lives easier and more comfortable whereas the second group claim that they are just technological products which complicated and destroyed many human lives.
The greatest advantage of using computers is their storage capacity. It is very important feature for many people, especially students, clerks and people whose work is based on documents, files and notes. Storage of tons of waste paper was huge problem for years. Computers has solved it so easily. Nowadays everything what is necessary we can keep on the hard drive and do not care about how much free place we have on our bookcases. As a result, workers do not need enormous spaces for necessary documents and what is more they can keep them in one place, so process of looking for them is shorter and quicker.(159)
A further advantage of computers is possibility to install on them many programs which are helpful in daily live. For instace, programs for image processing can be useful not only for photographers, but for everyone who wants to improve his picture, make it more colorful or in old- fashioned style. Furthermore, we can install programs to create music or learn new language. It makes our lives easier, because we do not have to spend a lot of money for special courses or books, we can find many information in that kind of programs and try to learn something new just in front of monitors at home. (264)
However, opponents claim that computers complicate and destroy many lives, especially young people lives, because they became their addictions. Computer games which can be easily installed on every computer are treated but many people as a sense of their life. They cannot stop playing them and they are not able to function normally. Virtual world is their world...
Furthermore, computers (mostly) are connected with the Internet. Except of all advantages of Internet, it has also so many weak points. Opponents say that Internet make life easier to that stage that people become just lazy. Everything is available through the Internet: shopping, talking with others, creating projects, visiting places... people can just sit in front of the monitor and organize whole life on-line. It's not a convenience, it's a weakness and harm for everyone who lives like that.
To sum up, computers have many strong points, but also negative aspects. Only on people depend, how and in what way they will use computers and all their possibilities. Computers can make our lives easier but only if we know how to use them.

First group 'say' (jest tez slowo 'assert') that computers make our lives easier and more comfortable whereas the second group claim that 'they' (wiem, ze odnosisz sie do kimputers, ale zmien slowo, bo mozna pomyslec, ze 'they' tutaj odnosi sie do drugiej grupy) are just technological products which complicated and destroyed many human lives.
It is (brak przedimka) very important feature for many people, especially students, clerks and people whose work is based on documents, files and notes. (przedimek) storage of tons of waste paper was (przedimek) huge problem for years. Computers 'has' (ale tutaj computers to jest l. mnoga) solved it so easily. Nowadays everything 'what' THAT is necessary 'we can keep' (napisz inaczej...can be kept) on the hard drive and (ale kto? napisz) do not care about how much free 'place' (zle slowo, tutaj 'space') we have on our bookcases. As a result, workers do not need enormous spaces for necessary documents and what is more they can keep them in one place, so (przedimek) process of looking for them is shorter and quicker.(159)
A further advantage of computers is (przedimek) possibility 'to install' (nie, napisz 'of installation') 'on them many programs' (zla kolejnosc slow) which are helpful in daily 'live' (tutaj ma byc rzeczownik). For 'instace' (ortog), programs for image processing can be useful not only for photographers, but for everyone who wants to improve 'his' (uzyj THEIR) picture, make it more colorful or in old- fashioned style. Furthermore, 'we can install programs' (nie pisz caly czas 'we' tylko pisz to bezosobowo - 'programs can be installed') to create music or learn (przedimek) new language. 'It' THIS makes our lives easier, because we do not have to spend a lot of money for special courses or books, we can find 'many' (zle slowo, tutaj 'much') information in 'that' (those- bo jest ich wiecej jak jeden) kindS of programs and try to learn something new just in front of monitors at home. (264)
'However,' (dla mnie lepiej pasuje slowo 'but') opponents claim that computers complicate and destroy many lives, especially young people lives, because they 'became' (zly czas tutaj teraz 'become') their addictions. Computer games which can be easily installed on every computer are treated 'but' (zle slowo) many people as 'a' (tu dalabym 'the') sense of their life.
Except 'of' (zle slowo - tutaj FOR) all (brazk przedimka) advantages of Internet, 'it has also so' (napisz THERE ARE) many weak points. Opponents say that Internet makeS life easier to 'that' (zle slowo, tutaj THE) stage that people become just lazy. Everything is available through the Internet: shopping, talking with others, creating projects, visiting places... people can just sit in front of the monitor and organize (tu brakuje slowa) whole life on-line.
'Only on people depend' (to dla mnie jest za bardzo 'po polsku' slowo w slowo, ale nie tak...It onmly depends on people on), how and in what way they will use computers and all their possibilities.

Popraw wszystkie przedimki, wtedy nie pisz 'we can' tylko bezosobowwo, i nie powtarzaj niektorych tych samych slow.

Dziękuję BARDZO BARDZO ;) aż wstyd za niektóre błędy, za wszytskie poprawki wielkie dzięki. A z tym 'we can'...to po prostu lepiej brzmi bezosobowo czy jest to jakoś niepoprawnie stylistycznie/gramatycznie itp??