Opowiadanie maturalne

It was warm day during the spring. I went for a walk to the park and everything would be lovely if I wasn't after consecutiveargument with my mother about my future. I loved baking cakes and I was thinking about having my own shops with sweets. My mum didn't want to hear about that. She wanted me to be a doctor.
I sat on the bench and cover my eyes with hands. I was in so deep despair that I didn't noticed somebody had sat next to me.
'Is there something wrong?', the man asked politely. I glanced at him. He must have been homeless. He wore dirty clothes and didn't smell nice.
'I have a problem,' I admitted. 'But who doesn't.'
'Tell me about yours,' he asked. 'Maybe I will be able to help.'
I looked at him. 'How can he help me?' I asked myself. But I really needed to talk with somebody and he looked friendly. So I told him about my argument with mother and he was listening carefully.
'I see,' he said when I had ended. 'I will tell you something. Do what you dream about. You won't be happy if you let the other people to lead your life. It is blessing to have a passion. I didn't pursue mine and look at me. Don't lose your chance.'
Now it has been four years after this conversation. I set up my own buisness. What is more, my mum accepted my choice and supports me. I am trying to go to the park everyday in order to meet this man. I want to thank him. If it hadn't been for his help, I wouldn't have made the best decision in my life.

Proszę o wytknięcie najpoważniejszych błędów gramatycznych.

It was (a gdzie przedimek? poszedl na spacerek?) warm 'day during the' (niepotr) 'spring' (lepiej to slowo dac po 'spring' a pozniej dolaczyc day. To scislej okresla w wyobrazni co bylo). I went for a walk to the park and everything would (nie, tutaj masz zly czas - ...it would have been) 'be' (nieportr) lovely if I 'wasn't' (zle slowa - tutaj lepiej 'had not been') after (brak przedimka) consecutive argument with my mother about my future. I loved baking cakes and I was thinking about having my own 'shops with sweets' (lepiej jest od razu okreslac...my own sweet shop - shops-jak wiecej jak jeden) .
I sat on the bench and 'cover' (tutaj 'covered') my eyes with (cos brak - czyje to rece byly?) hands. I was in so deep (brak cos) despair that I didn't 'noticed' (zly czas) somebody had sat next to me.
'Is there 'something' (ja wole 'anything') wrong?', the man asked politely.
'Tell me about yours,' he 'asked' (nie mozesz napisac 'asked' bo to nie bylo pytanie - wiecej polecenie - tutaj 'said').
'How 'can' (lepiej 'could') he help me?' I asked myself.
So I told him about my argument with mother and he 'was listening' (listened) carefully.
'I see,' he said when I had 'ended' (zle slowo, tutaj 'finished').
You won't be happy if you 'let' (jest tez slowo 'allow') 'the' (niepotr) other people to lead your life. It is (przedimek) blessing to have a passion.
Now 'it has been four years' (mozna tez 'four years have passed since that conversation') after this conversation. I set up my own 'buisness' (ortog). What is more, my mum accepted my choice and (tutaj cos brak, albo daj 'now' albo ' she') supports me. I 'am trying' (TRY) to go to the park everyday in order to meet this man.
If it hadn't been for his help, I wouldn't have made the best decision 'in' (moze tez 'OF) my life.

Bardzo dziękuję :-)

I loved baking cakes... Dlaczego w przeszłości?

Tell me about yours... ja bym dał inny zaimek

I was in so deep despair ... determiner /imo/, również na "s"