Rozprawka maturalna sprawdzenie- 2006

wybrałem temat "Coraz mniej młodych ludzi decyduje się na zawarcie małżeństwa przed trzydziestym rokiem życia. Napisz rozprawkę przestawiającą wady i zalety zakładania rodziny w późniejszym wieku"

uprzejmie prosze o sprawdzenie rozprawki:

Living in 21st century is for many people may be a hassle, it is known that in times which we are living in, world keeps on moving forward which causes many sacrifices, one of those are decisions of spending life with other person and starting a family. Many people tends to wait after their 30s before deciding about those aspects in their lives which from my point of view have their positive and negative points.
First of all, people which decided to start their own family after 30s, are more expirienced in life in general which grants them ability to encounter more issues within their lives that may overhelm younger ones that made same decision. Secondly it is belived that older people are often financialy independent that gives strong ground in starting new family, younger ones are having problems with this aspect and asking their parents for help. Another point is being mature itself, it is easily noticed how often young ones are breaking up with their partners which may be caused by emotions. On the contrary elders appreciate love and if something does not work out they are trying to fix it.
No matter how convincing may be arguments listed above, every decision in our lives have bad sides. One of those is the fact the decision about starting family later itself does not guarantee us anything, for person that spend whole life on education and career it may be quite a big challage to meet person of the opposite sex and establish relationship with them, due to low social skills. It has to be known that independent older person may come to conclusion they do not need to start family, from their point of view it may cause many problems which are unnecessary for example rising own child, that may cause loneliness in their life that sooner or later will lead them to depression. Similar effect may be caused by postponing overall idea of starting family after our 30s, it is because we are not always sucessful in our lives and it is good to have family that are giving us more motivation.
I strongly belive that arguments on both sides have really convincing points, I can hardly choose between one of them, but I feel that, starting family after being 30 years old, would be better because I belive that I have to learn to live with myself first before living with someone. This is only my speculation. People are saying that love can not be compelled afterall.

Living in '21st' (generalnie piszemy XXI) century 'is' (to tutaj nie pasuje, bo pozniej masz 'may be') for many people may be a hassle, 'it is known' (przez kogo? dowody?) that 'in times which we are living in' (jest takie slowo 'contemporary' zobacz czy ono by pasowalo lepiej), (brak przedimka) world keeps on 'moving forward' (to znaczy gdzie? czy jedzie po autostradzie? napisz to inaczej) which causes many sacrifices, one of 'those' (zle slowo, tutaj 'these') are (przedimek) decisions of spending life with ANother person and starting a family. (To zdanie wg mnie jest troche za dlugie). Many people 'tends' (nie, tutaj masz 3os.l.poj, a 'people' to l. mnoga) to wait after their 30s before deciding about those aspects in their lives which from my point of view have their positive and negative points.
First of all, people 'which' (jak piszesz o ludziach to zawsze WHO) (tutaj brakuje slowa 'have') decided to start their own family after (brakuje 'their') 30s, are more 'expirienced' (blad ortog.) in life in general which grants them (przedimek) ability to encounter more issues within their lives that may 'overhelm' (ortog) younger ones 'that' (ja bym tutaj dala 'who') made (przedimek) same decision. Secondly (daj tutaj przecinek) it is 'belived' (ortog) that older people are often financialy independent that 'gives' (dla mnie nie za trafne slowo) (przedimek) strong ground in starting (przedimek) new family, younger ones 'are having' (daj tutaj 'have') problems with this aspect and 'asking' (ask) their parents for help. Another point is THAT being mature 'itself' (niepotr), it is easily noticed how often young ones are breaking up with their partners which may be caused by (ja tutaj okreslilabym te emocje, np. strong, immature) emotions. On the contrary elders appreciate love and if something does not work out they 'are trying' (uzywasz zle czasy, wystarczy simple - try) to fix it.
No matter how convincing may be (przedimek) arguments listed above, every decision in our lives 'have' (decision-it-3os.l.poj, pamietaj o koncowkach czasownikow) bad sides. One of those is the fact THAT the decision about starting (przedimek) family later itself does not guarantee us anything, for (przedimek) person that 'spend' (person-he-3os.l.poj, uwazaj na to) THEIR whole life on (przedimek) education and (przedimek) career it may be quite a big 'challage' (ortog) to meet (przedimek) person of the opposite sex and establish (przedimek) relationship with them, due to (tutaj brakuje slowa, daj 'their') low social skills. It 'has to be known' (nie, to jest za silnie, uzyj moze 'it could be argued') that (przedimek) independent older person may come to (przedimek) conclusion THAT they do not need to start (przedimek) family, from their point of view it may cause many problems which are unnecessary for example 'rising' (zle slowo, podobne ale nie to) (przedimek) own child(,) (niepotrzeba tutaj przecinka) 'that' (niepotr) may cause loneliness in their life that sooner or later will lead them to depression. (brak przedimka) similar effect may be caused by postponing (przedimek) overall idea of starting (przedimek) family after our 30s, it is because we are not always 'sucessful' (cos to slowo wydaje mi sie blad ortog) in our lives and it is good to have (przedimek) family that 'are giving' (nie, uzyj simple - give) us more motivation.
I strongly 'belive' (ortog) that arguments on both sides have really convincing points, I can hardly choose between one of them, but I feel that, starting (przedimek) family after being 30 years old, would be better because I 'belive' (ortog- podam Ci to - believe) that I have to learn to live 'with' (czy masz na mysli 'by'?) myself first before living with someone (dodaj slowo 'else').
People 'are saying' (lepiej 'say') that love can not be 'compelled' (cos dla mnie nie za trafne slowo) afterall.

Uwazaj na te przedimki (a, an, the). Uwazaj na koncowki czasownikow 3os.l.poj.

Dziekuje, ile mniej więcej dostałbym za taką rozprawkę na maturze? I ogólnie co się liczy jako słowo a co nie (muszę się zmieścić od 200 do 250)