Sprawdzenie artykułu

Witam. Proszę o sprawdzenie poprawności mojego tekstu .
Treść zadania:
Your school recently organised a Charity Fun Day. Local people were invited and a talent competition was held. Several student bands played and a variety of food was available. Write an article of at least 200 words and review the event:
-describe and give your opinion on the various events of the day
-make some suggestions for next year's event
Treśc mojego artykułu:
Our local Charity Fun Day
My friends and I decided to organise a ,, Charity Fun Day" in our school. Our headteacher was not opposed to the idea. Furthermore, she even said: ,, I will also participat in this event!" After great recomendations from headteacher we prepare a lot of delicious meal and we invited a local people and we also invite a lot of talented young people from others schools, and a several music bands.
My friends decided to organise a talent schow firstly. I told them that it is a great idea! After 10 o'clock we opened the gym's door and the talend schow started. This year's Charity Fun Day was brilliant. There were over than one thousand people. They might taste several types of food. For instance, the most interesting meal for people were hot dogs. But... The reason why people bought them a lot, not was that the hot dogs were delicious. ( Nie wiem jakiej użyć tu konstrukcji aby powiedzieć że ,, dochód ze sprzedaży był przeznaczony na dom dziecka w okolicy") This year, the music was not brilliant. There were some terrible singers in the competition. One of the competitors fall down the scene. That was extremly funny!
The only thing I'd suggest changing next year is the place where event is organised. There should be twice bigger! If you are looking for a really friendly event with brilliant bands and tasty food you must take part in the next ,,Chartity Fun Day"

Our local Charity Fun Day
My friends and I decided to organise a ,, Charity Fun Day" in our school. Our headteacher was not opposed DZIWNE, TO BRZMI, JAKBYSCIE SIE SPODZIEWALI SPRZECIWU to the idea. Furthermore, she even said: ,, I will also participat ORTOGR. in this event!" After great recomendations from PRZEDIMEK headteacher we prepare CZAS a lot of delicious meal POSILEK and we invited a local people and we also invite a lot of talented young people from others schools, and a several music bands. DWA RAZY UZYLES 'A' PRZED RZECZOWNIKAMI W LICZBIE MNOGIEJ
My friends decided to organise a talent schow ORTOGR firstly. I told them that it is WAS (MOWA ZALEZNA) a great idea! After 10 o'clock we opened the gym's door and the talend schow started. This year's Charity Fun Day was brilliant. There were over than = PONAD NIŻ one thousand people. They might COULD taste several types of food. For instance, the most interesting meal for THE people were hot dogs. But... The reason why people bought them a lot, not ZLA KOLEJNOSC SLOW was that the hot dogs were delicious. ( Nie wiem jakiej użyć tu konstrukcji aby powiedzieć że ,, dochód ze sprzedaży był przeznaczony na dom dziecka w okolicy") NAPISZ 'WENT TO' This year, the music was not brilliant. There were some terrible singers in the competition. One of the competitors fall TO JEST BEZOKOLICZNIK down the scene INNE SLOWO. That was extremly ORTOGR funny!
The only thing I'd suggest changing next year is the place where PRZEDIMEK event is organised. IT should be twice bigger! If you are looking for a really friendly event with brilliant bands and tasty food you must take part in the next ,,Chartity Fun Day"[/quote]

dziwnie brzmi, gdy piszesz sugestie dotyczące imprezy, ktora sam zorganizowales.