sprawdzenie story of my life :P

Before the winter break my english teacher had given us a homework. We had to write about the worst story of our life. At the monday evening I wanted to do my homework but I didn't know what write. I was thinking very long until I go to sleep. I was dreaming about the Grammar Monster. He ran after me, I was very frightened. All the time he threw me the tenses. I wanted escape but I couldn't. Under my legs was laying a lot of sentences with gaps that I could fall. Suddenly, he had caught me and said: 'why do you escape?', and I said: 'because I'm afraid...', Grammar Monster said to me: 'Don't be afraid, baby!' I was very scared, I said: 'Let me go right now you beef-head!' ... Suddenly, I woke up. I was cold and scared. I will never forget this story!

mg, nie mozesz sie uchylic od sprawdzenia. To przeciez Twoj pomysl.

no własnie... ;P ale ja sama juz widze jakie bledy zrobilam :P hmm bym musiala to porawic ale narazie sie wstrzymam :P

przed bezokolicznikiem powinno byc 'to', np. wanted to say'
jezeli uzywasz czasu past perfect (z had), to znaczy, ze mowisz o czyms, co zdarzylo sie wczesniej niz glowny watek opowiadania. W pierwszym zdaniu to nie razi, ale dalej tak.
'ciagle cos robil' najlepiej tlumaczyc 'he kept doing costam'
to zdanie o rzucaniu czasami nie jest zrozumiale. Powinnas napisac, jak te czasy wygladaly (to byly jakby podłużne kamienie z wystajacym podmiotem i orzeczeniem).
Zamiast 'escape' napisz raczej 'run away'

No i niezle. Grammar Monster powinien wyglosic jakies zdanie skomplikowane gramatycznie, np. 'I'd rather you didn't avoid learning grammar' (nothing personal, bo pare bledow na pewno zrobilas z pospiechu). Wiec tak:

Before the winter break my 'e'English teacher 'had given' (moze byc, ale nie ma co przesadzac, 'gave' byloby calkiem OK) us a homework. We had to write about the worst story of our 'life' lives. 'At the' ON 'm'Monday evening I wanted to do my homework but I didn't know what TO write. I was thinking 'very long' (raczej 'for a very long time') until I 'go' WENT to sleep. I was dreaming about the Grammar Monster. He ran after me, I was very frightened. All the time he threw 'me' the tenses AT ME. I wanted TO escape but I couldn't. Under my 'legs'
(lepiej 'feet') 'was' WERE 'laying' LYING (albo 'there were') a lot of sentences with gaps that I could fall INTO. Suddenly, he 'had' caught (wystarczy Simple Past) me and said: 'why do you escape?', and I said: 'because I'm afraid...', Grammar Monster said to me: 'Don't be afraid, baby!' I was very scared, I said: 'Let me go right now you beef-head!' ... Suddenly, I woke up. I was cold and scared. I will never forget this story!

O, to masz dwie niezalezne opinie :-)
To jeszcze wyjasnie, ze (tak mniej wiecej)
throw someone something = throw something to someone = rzucac cos do kogos
throw something at someone = rzucac czyms w kogos

The Worst Story of my Life
Before the winter break my english teacher had given us a homework. We had to write about the worst story of our life. At the mondays evening I wanted to do my homework but I didn't know what to write. I was thinking very long until I went to sleep. I was dreaming about the Grammar Monster. He was chasing me, I was very frightened. All the time he was throwing at me tenses. I wanted escape but I couldn't. He was throwing a lot of sentences with gaps under my legs so I could fall. Those sentences looked like a long stones with outstanding subjects and verbs. Suddenly, he caught me and asked: 'why do you escape?', and I said: 'because I'm afraid...', Grammar Monster said to me: 'Don't be afraid, baby!' I was very scared, and I said: 'Let me go right now you beef-head!' ... Suddenly, I woke up. I was cold and scared. I will never forget this story!


a teraz ? :) obleci ?

Kilka rzeczy wyprostowal Vindex. Nie bede ich powtarzal.

>Before the winter break my English teacher had given us homework.

I thought and thought and then I fell asleep
I dreamt about...
He kept throwing tenses at me OPIS TYCH CZASOW
I wanted BRAKUJE CZEGOS escape but I couldn't. He
>was throwing sentences with gaps Those sentences looked like a - A PRZED LICZBĄ MNOGĄ? long stones with PRICKLY
>subjects and verbs. - MALA POMYLKA, JAK MOZNA WPASC W TAKIE ZDANIA? TO MIALO SIE ODNOSIC DO CZASOW

No to ja jeszcze tylko dorzucę, że mogłabyś poszukać kilku dodatkowych reporting verbs, bo cały dialog przez nadmiar tych 'to say' stał się odrobinę nudny i monotonny. Może: 'to ask', 'to answer'...?