essay - proszę o sprawdzenie błędów

Today showbisnes is very profitable buisness. Many people woud like to take participate in this ‘show’. Among them are very young and inexperienced players. Mayby is too early or mayby that are new rules in this world?

Beeing a star can be very interesting experience. At first, children and teenagers can quicly learn than older people how to live in this world becouse they can very easyli domesticate. Secondly if that young people are very good in their profession they are very fame which is very exciting feel even thought age. Finaly, when you are fame you can be rich and this is the main target to take. Only few artist do it for public and oneself.

On the other hand, too quicly carrer can be very dangerous. For example, you don’t have much time so you must lost something of childhood and youth. In spite of the fact that you must participate in different performance, you neglect school and learning. You have many journey as a result you don’t have time to your friends. You lost too many things to go that indifferently.

In cocnlusion, though carrer in adolescence is very interesting and tempting can be very perilous too. You can win more for your colleagues but you can loose too much. Everything is depends for you.

A co sie stalo z moimi ukochanymi 'a' i 'the' - czy ich nie lubisz uzywac? One tez sa potrzebne w zdaniu i az prosza sie zeby ich uzywac.
Gdzie napisalam (ortog) to znaczy ze jest blad ortog (spelling)- prosze popraw

Today 'showbisnes' (ortog) is A very profitable 'buisness' (ortog). Many people would like to 'take' (dlaczego uzywasz 'take'?) participate in this 'show'. Among them are THE very young and inexperienced players. 'Mayby' (ortog) IT is too early or 'mayby' (ortog) 'that' (niepotr) THERE are new rules in this world?
Beeing a star can be A very interesting experience. At first, children and teenagers can ''quicly' (ortog) learn than older people' (cos mi tutaj nie gra) how to live in this world 'becouse' (juz nic tutaj nie powiem - ale wiedz jedno, to slowo tak sie nie pisze) they can very 'easyli' (ortog) 'domesticate' (NIE - to slowo uzywa sie do zwierzat - to domesticate a cat or a dog - ale nigdy ludzi). Secondly if 'that' (nie- cos innego) young people are very good in their profession they are very 'fame' (nie- tutaj FAMOUS-chyba slyszales o tym slowie) which is A very exciting 'feel'(chyba FEELING) even 'thought age' (nie - tego nie masz na mysli - o czym myslisz to..even at that young age).
Finaly, when you are 'fame' (nie - FAMOUS) you can be rich and this is the main 'target to take' (nie - albo ..aim, albo target to reach). Only A few
'artist' (artist to l. poj - a tutaj 'a few- to znaczy l. mn) do it for THE public and 'oneself' (nie - tutaj ...for themselves).
On the other hand, too 'quicly' (ortog) A 'carrer' (ortog) can be very dangerous. For example, you don't have much time, so you must 'lost' (popraw- nie to slowo) something of YOUR childhood and 'youth' (tutaj uzyj adolescence). In spite of the fact that you must participate in A different performance, you MAY neglect school and learning. You have many 'journey' (journey to l. poj - a many to daje znac o l. mn-prosze popraw) as a result you don't have time 'to' FOR your friends. You 'lost' (zle slowo - tutaj 'lose') too many things to 'go' (chyba nie - chyba DO) that indifferently.
In 'cocnlusion' (ortog), though A 'carrer'(ortog) in adolescence is very interesting and tempting IT can be very perilous too. You can win more for your
colleagues but you can loose too much- )To zdanie jest b. dziwne).
Everything 'is' (po co is?) depends 'for' ON you.