Proszę o sprawdzenie tekstu :)

To moje wypocinki, bardzo prosze o sprawdzenie. Miałam do napisania raport na podstawie podanych podpunktów. Z góry dzieki za pomoc :)

Narrow Escape
-24 year- old British student Thomas Brown
-nearly drowned while swimming yesterday
-on holiday- four friends
-go swimming after eating
-got cramp, began to drown
-friends help him reach the beach
-tourist call ambulance- take to hospital
-doctors’ press release- do not swim after eating.


"narrow Escape"
A young 24 British student Thomas Brown and his four friends went on holiday. They arrived in the Hawai, there stayed in the hotel. The next day they in the beach. Thomas was very hungry so, he ate pizza and went swimming after eating. Thomas got cramp and began drown! When his friends saw it immediately help him reach the beach. Tourist called ambulance for Thomas. Ambulance very fast arrived and take to hospital. When Thomas wokeup ask Doctor "What happend?" Doctor said "You herly drowned while swimming yesterday. Do not swim after eating".

A narrow Escape"
A young 24 YEARS OLD British student Thomas Brown and his four friends went on holiday. They arrived in 'the' (niepotr) Hawai, 'there stayed' (nie, - and stayed) in the hotel.
'The next day they in the beach' (ale co robili na tym beach?).
Thomas was very hungry, so he ate A LARGE? pizza and went swimming after eating. Thomas got cramp and began TO drown! When his friends saw 'it' THIS THEY immediately helpED him TO reach the beach. A tourist called FOR AN ambulance for Thomas.
'Ambulance very fast arrived and take to hospital' (prosze napisac to zdanie wg ang. gramatyki -
When Thomas woke up HE askED (czas przeszly) THE Doctor "What happenEd?" Doctor said "You NeArly drowned while swimming yesterday.

Dziekuje bardzo...

>'Ambulance very fast arrived and take to hospital' (prosze napisac to
>zdanie wg ang. gramatyki -
Gdybym wiedziała to na pewno bym napisała poprawnie.

>A young {24-YEAR-OLD} British student...

>'Ambulance very fast arrived and take to hospital' (prosze napisac to
>zdanie wg ang. gramatyki -

The ambulance arrived very quickly and took him to hospital.

>>>Gdybym wiedziała to na pewno bym napisała poprawnie
Prosze zrozumiec, ze jak JA trace swoj czas na sprawdzenie czegos, to nie oczekuje, zeby ktos sie na mnie unosil. Moze, gdybys chociaz troszeczke sie skupila i sluchala swojego nauczyciela, to bys wiedziala.

Przepraszam, ale wcale sie nie uniosłam. Może jeśli bym słuchała było by poprawnie to fakt. Dziekuje.