Proszę o sprawdzenie wypracowania

Dear XXX,
First of all, you should talk to your parents and show them that you are serious about Gloria. I think that your parents are not very sure, that a girlfriend from other country is appropriate for you. You must prove them that love doesn't depend on the nationality and there are many things that are more important than it. If you get on well with your girlfriend, your parents should be satisfied with it. Your parents could be anxious at first, but they need some time to understand your feelings. Ask them to try to accept her an don't give up when they don't agree with you immediately. If yo hadn't introduced Gloria to your parents yet, give them the chance to get to know her. Ask Gloria to be very polite for them and invite all for example to the theatre. Then go to a restaurant. You should make that Gloria and your parents will become friends. Don't give up and take up!!!!
Even when they won't get on, don't be long-faced and try to persuade your parents, that she is appropriate for you. After some time your parents will give up and accept her. Good luck!
XYZ

First of all, (I think that)you should talk to your parents and show them that you are serious about Gloria. I think that your parents are not very sure,
'that' IF a girlfriend from other country is appropriate for you. You must
prove TO them that love doesn't depend on the nationality and there are
many things that are 'more important than it' MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN NATIONALITY. If you get on well with your girlfriend, your parents should be 'satisfied with it' (czy nie lepiej GLAD FOR YOU?).
If yoU 'hadn't' HAVEN'T introduced Gloria to your parents yet, give them the chance to get to know her.
Ask Gloria to be very polite 'for' TO them and invite 'all' EVERYONE 'for example to the theatre' (jabym to dala ...to the theatre for example).
You should make SURE that Gloria and your parents 'will' (niepotr) become friends. Don't give up and 'take up' (nie rozumiem co to 'take up' tutaj ma znaczyc)
Even when they won't get on, don't be long-faced and try to persuade
your parents, that she is 'appropriate' (moze suitable?) for you.

Dzięki wielkie :)