Double life - historia - sprawdzenie!

Historia o osobie która prowadzi podwójne życie. Prszę o sprawdzenie ;)

One man, two faces.
Mark Rolston is respected citizen. As a succeed businessmen He was named Men of the Year. He is also loving father and devoted husband. Behind this image he is hiding a dark secret. Mr. Rolston is conditionan. He’s trying to keep his addiction under control, he’s attending AA meetings. But he isn’t an alcoholic. His addiction is definitely worse.
When ruthless voice appear in his head and pushing him to crime Mark give in to temptation and became a intangible murderer. However Rolston isn’t a type of maniacal psychopath. He isn’t changing at violent monster – irrespective of situation he stay chill and self-controlled. He is ‘experienced’ killer. Every his murder is considered and planed. Mark with his alter ego cares about every details.

To jeszcze nie jest pełna historia. Ale proszę o pomoc i sprawdzenie ogólnego sensu, spójności i gramatyki tego tekstu.

To głównie czynności towarzyszące zabijaniu są powodem uzależnienia Rolstona, a nie moment gdy kogoś zabija(może lepiej 'a nie fakt śmierci'?)
Mainly action comcurrent (accompanying measures?) are reson of Rolston's dependence, no moment when he kills somebody.

....is A respected....

As a SUCCESSFUL (to jest naprawdę głupi błąd napisać "succeed" - wystarczy sprawdzić w słowniku) businessman, he was named the Man (men to l. mnoga) of the Year.

...a loving father and a devoted husband.
But behind this image....

Mr. Rolston is
>conditionan. (kim??)

...under control and he is attending AA meetings.

>When ruthless voice appear in his head and pushing him to crime Mark
>give in to temptation and became a intangible murderer.

When he hears a ruthless voice in his head that pushes him to commit a crime, Mark gives in to temptation and becomes jaki? murderer.

>Rolston isn't a type of maniacal psychopath.
...is not a maniacal psychopath.

He isn't changing at
>violent monster - irrespective of situation he stay chill and
>self-controlled.
He doesn't change into a violent monster - he stays calm and under control.

He is 'experienced' killer. Every his murder is
>considered and planed. Mark with his alter ego cares about every
>details.
He is an experienced killer. Every one of his murders is premeditated and well-planned. Mark's alter ego cares about every single detail.

Cos nie lubisz uzywac 'a'...

Mark Rolston is 'A' respected citizen. As a 'succeed' (zle slowo - popraw) 'businessmen' (napisalas to w l. mnogiej, dlaczego?) he was
named 'Men' (ale men to jest w l. mn - napisz to w l. poj) of the Year. He is also 'A' loving father and 'A' devoted husband.
BUT behind this image he is hiding a dark secret. Mr. Rolston is
'conditionan' (nie rozumiem tego slowa - co chesz powiedziec?).
His addiction is definitely worse. (than that)
When 'A' ruthless voice appearS in his head and 'pushing' PUSHES him INto crime Mark giveS (Mark to jest 'he' a to 3os.l.poj) into temptation and 'became' BECOMES aN intangible murderer. However Rolston isn't a type of 'maniacal' (napisz MANIC) psychopath. He 'isn't' DOESN'T 'changing' CHange 'at' INTO A violent monster - irrespective of THE situation, he stayS chillED and self-controlled. He is AN 'experienced' killer.
'Every his' (zla kol slow HIS EVERY murder is considered and planNed. Mark with his alter ego cares about every 'details' (tutaj l. poj DETAIL)

Mark Rolston is a respected citizen, (a generous philanthropist). As a successful businessman, he was named Man of the Year. He is also a loving father and a devoted husband. Seemingly, he's perfect. But Mr. Rolston has a dark secret. He is (uzależniony). He’s trying to keep his addiction under control, he’s attending AA meetings. - But he's not in the grip of drugs or alcohol. - His addiction is definitely worse( I tu mam dopisać to than that?)

When a ruthless voice appears in his head and pushes him into crime Mark gives in to temptation and becomes a intangible(nieuchwytny) murderer. However Rolston is not a type of manic psychopath. He doesn’t change at violent monster – irrespective of the situation he stay chilled and self-controlled. He is ‘experienced’ killer. His every murder is considered and planned. Mark with his alter ego cares about every detail. He’s got separate clothing for ‘occasions’ (które pali po każdym razie?), he also clean place of murder. Mainly action comcurrent (accompanying measures?) are reason of Rolston's dependence, no moment when he kills somebody. [To (właśnie) głównie czynności towarzyszące zabijaniu są powodem uzależnienia Rolstona, a nie moment gdy kogoś zabija? ]
Thanks to his outstanding intelligence he for very long time stays unsuspected. -Czy pokona w końcu - evil inner voice? How long Mr.Rolston willl be able to hide his second life and truth face?

Dziękuje wyżej zamieszczam wersje poprawioną, dokończoną i z małymi dodatkami/poprawkami... ;) Mam nadzieję, że poprawiła mwszystkie błędy i nie narobiłam wielu nowych.

I jak wersja po poprawkach? Może być? Liczyłabym jeszcze na ostatnie sprawdzenie i ewentualne poprawki... proszę :)